


Alpha Romeo Tango: Love in a time of hardship

by Ktspree13



Series: Three Little Words [1]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Artist Loki (Marvel), Bathing/Washing, But it's Mild, Chronic Illness, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fever, Fluff, Hair Braiding, Happy Ending, Hospitalization, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Long Hair, M/M, Marine Corps, Mental Health Issues, Military Backstory, Nurse Thor, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Panic Attacks, Patient Loki, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sick Loki (Marvel), Size kink if you squint, Trust Issues, anemia, good family dynamics, the nicknames just kinda became a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-08-23 01:58:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 56,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16609706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ktspree13/pseuds/Ktspree13
Summary: When Thor accepted a position on the nursing staff at Hope General, he expected a fresh start.  Out of the marine corps for a year, he was looking for something to pull him back into the world.  In a new city, far from his military roots, what he found was Loki.  A special patient at Hope, Loki was the son of the hospital's owner; an artist trapped within his own mind and debilitating disease.  What do you do when you fall for a man you shouldn't?  One who could ruin you with one word to the ethics board, or a cure that would come too late?  But Loki had no interest in ruin.  He wanted two things: an end to this ailment, and Thor.  And he wasn't used to getting what he wanted.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!! It's my much lauded/anticipated Big Bang fic!!! :D I started this process back in May thinking...I could probably write 16,000 words by October. Well, it's mid-November and I'm already over 100,000 words and I have plenty more to add to this, lol! 
> 
> I want to thank a lot of people, so I apologize that this author's note will be a little lengthy...  
> #1, [Teckmonky](http://teckmonky.tumblr.com/), this was your prompt. I SUPER hope you enjoy what I came up with, and thank you so much for the initial inspiration. <3 I had a blast with this.  
> #2, my [BETA](https://tjc2009-2018.tumblr.com/)!!!!! Seriously, all the hours you put into this with me, the fic truly would not be as good or as complete as it is right now without your help! All the brainstorming we did together, the times I was freaking out about the fic not being good. Your comments to help me get things right. I am so, SO grateful for all of it. It was a pleasure working with you, getting to know you, creating this masterpiece together. :) I am so incredibly PROUD of this work, and it's in large part to you, my friend. <3 Thank you.  
> #3, the amazing artist I got to work with for this fic. :D [Kamthe](http://kamthe.tumblr.com/) did some great art for me which you can find [here.](http://kamthe.tumblr.com/post/180061901601/hi-everyone-im-here-with-my-second-thorki) <3  
> #4, the [Big Bang Mods!!](https://thorkibigbang.tumblr.com/)!! Thank you so much for organizing this great challenge. I had an amazing time being part of it and I already have an idea for next year, if you do this again. :D <3  
> #5, all my friends on Tumblr, discord, in real life, who listened to me complain and freak out and gush over this fic I've written. Thank you for listening, eagerly anticipating the release of this, and supporting me and my writing. You inspire me all the time, and your support means the world to me.
> 
> Notes:  
> 1\. I had to give Laufey a last name, so what I came up with is from old norse, but isn't anything to do with the comics or movies.  
> 2\. I've not served in the military, been a nurse, worked in a hospital, dealt with the physical or mental illnesses written in this fic, etc. etc. I tried to research and portray things to the best of my ability, but I apologize if you have experience in any of these areas and it doesn't feel like a genuine portrayal. I did the best that I could.  
> 3\. Many of the places I reference in this fic are actual places around Chicago, or existed at one point in time, in case you're curious. ;) There are a few I just made up, though.  
> 4\. I'm a giant music nerd, so I will reference songs in my fic. Many times, they were things I was listening to that drove the scene I wrote. There's even a whole [spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/1298255274/playlist/7sFZD1EDPI2SCsy7npgP2T?si=yO0YzjfCRKeVYzOc09ZXoA) for this series, if you're interested, lol.
> 
> Thanks, everyone!! Enjoy!!! (p.s., I'll embed some art, if I can figure it out. (: )

**YEAR ONE**   


There was a room at Hope General unlike most others in the hospital.  Thor had never seen inside it before, but he was fairly new. The door was marked simply: JOKULSSEN.  He eventually learned the room belonged to the owners of the hospital for whenever they needed it. And as long as he’d been there, they’d never needed it, until now.  Thor peeked in to watch the cleaning crew working on what appeared to be an entire apartment of rooms. There was the standard room for care, hospital bed and equipment, and a bathroom, same as any of their other rooms.  Beyond that, there were two small rooms with more traditional beds in them, something that looked like a study, which was, at this very moment, being filled with books, a room that could be used for exercise or physical therapy, and one last room that stood empty.  Before he got too curious, though, he moved on. It was his job to care for patients and take care of administrative tasks, not to gawk at a private room the size of ten standard rooms. 

Thor had never met the owners, but he heard good things about them from the other nurses he worked with.  Laufey Jokulssen was very business savvy, they said, and worked incredibly hard to keep the hospital out of litigation.  Others mentioned how intimidating he was, and not to get on his bad side. Only a few mentioned his caring nature, when you got to know him outside the hospital troubles and the walls of professionalism.  The last, everyone seemed to know. The man was fiercely devoted to his family. 

Some of the nurses—who had been there longer than Thor had even been a nurse—would tell him stories about Laufey’s “sweet, adorable” son.  He was 28, now, but had been a fixture in the hospital for a while when he was little. Thor guessed this was likely what originally prompted the suite of rooms that laid behind the door.  “He’s just the most handsome man, now,” they'd sigh. “He’s an artist, you know,” another told him. Ever since he’d told his co-workers he was single and bi—over too many ill-advised drinks and even more ill-advised questioning—it seemed they all wanted a hand in fixing him up.  Older, younger, men, women, big burly types, like himself, and waif like types he felt more likely to break. Some had even been so forward to ask if he was a top or a bottom. For the record, he enjoyed both, but it wasn’t something he wanted to share with his colleagues. At this point, he wouldn’t be surprised if there was a pool going on for who would be the first to find him a date.

Thor ignored them well enough.  It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate it, but life was complicated right now.  He wasn’t up for dating. He’d recently been released from the Marine Corps. He had moved off the base in Quantico, VA that had been his home for the last five years, and straight into a brand new city.  It was a completely different culture here, too. There were a lot of differences between the Southeast and the Midwest of the United States, and he had chosen one of the biggest cities in the region to live in.  Right now, Chicago’s chilly April weather wasn’t doing him any favors. It was snowy, it was rainy, it was windy, it was slushy. Things had been miserable since March and he couldn’t wait for some actual spring weather.

“Thor!” Dr. Bruce Banner greeted him, putting some patient files on the main desk.

“How’s it hanging, Dr. Banner?” he smiled.  The older man sighed.

“Just got done with a hard consult.  Young man. They break my heart, Thor.”  He gave Thor a sad smile, in return, before shuffling off.  Thor put the stack of files he’d left in the ‘billing’ pile, noticing one for Laufeyson at the top.

***

“What’s going on with the Jokulssen suite?” Thor asked his boss, when he had a free moment.

“It’s the saddest thing,” she frowned.  “It seems Laufey’s son had a kind of relapse, or escalation, to the issues he had as a child, and he’s back to stay for a while.  Aplastic anemia,” she told him. “Probably needs a bone marrow transplant this time.”

Thor was surprised.  Aplastic anemia was rare, and it was sad to hear the younger man’s previous illness continued to cause him issues.  He imagined the younger man probably didn’t relish the idea of returning to the hospital, especially now, as an adult, and even more so as an artist.  Most of the artists Thor knew enjoyed their space and hospitals really kept you cooped up. Successful bone marrow transplants could be hard to come by and treatment to even be ready for it could take almost a full year.  It was a tough road ahead for all involved, it seemed.

“Just a heads up, Thor, I may not pull you in on this one.  We want to try and be consistent with Loki, so I’ll be assigning the nurses who were here for him the last time around.”

Thor nodded.  “I understand.”

“We all love you, and I think you’d do an excellent job, just so you know.”  Thor chuckled. He didn’t need the ego boost, but it was nice to know his boss thought he was doing well.

“Thank you, but it makes sense to me.  The patient is what’s most important.” He beamed and patted her on the shoulders.

“Oh…you’re just our little ray of sunshine,” she sighed, dreamily.  “I don’t know what made you choose Hope, but we’re so lucky to have you.”  Thor blushed, not knowing what to say to that compliment.

“Well, I better get back to work,” he grinned.

“Yes,” she agreed.  “Shoo! Shoo!” She shook her head as Thor grabbed his next chart and rushed off.

***

As he was about at the end of his shift, Thor ducked into the nurses’ station.  “Ladies,” he crooned. “Last chance for some help,” he offered. The four that were there all smiled back at him.

“You better watch it,” Natasha warned, having just come on her shift.  “Eventually we won’t turn you down,” she winked. Thor chuckled, about to make his way to the locker room when another nurse, Peggy, ducked her head out of one of the patient rooms.

“Thor-bear!” she sang, with a slightly panicked look to her eyes.  “Can you lend me a hand?” She mimed a strong arm pose and Thor got the picture.  He glided over to her.

“Anything for you,” he smiled.  She gave him a grateful look.

“This one’s afraid of needles, it seems,” she informed him quietly.

“Name?” he whispered back.

“Steve.”  Thor was surprised when he stepped into the room.  On the exam table sat a muscular blond man. He had a large bandage around his leg, but otherwise appeared like he could sell apple pie to even the most granola-eating, gluten-hating, anti-sugar person out there.

“Hey, Steve,” he grinned, looking over at his workout buddy.  Steve groaned.

“Thor, man, you do not need to see this,” the blond fidgeted.  Peggy glanced over at Thor in a ‘do you know him?’ kind of way.

“Well, you got Peggy to flag down the big guns,” he joked, good-naturedly.  “Steve and I work out at the same gym,” he told her. She smirked at them and nodded.

“Well, it seems Mr. Rogers here needs a precautionary tetanus shot.  Cut himself on a rather large and rusty piece of metal.” Peggy went to prepare the needle again and Steve looked away quickly.

“What did you do?”  Thor was shocked. For all his fun, Steve was a pretty cautious guy.  They’d bonded over body-building videos and talks of what it was like to be a veteran.  Steve wasn’t a marine, but he didn’t hold it over the former Army Captain...often.

“Helping a buddy move out,” he explained while Peggy swabbed his arm again.  Steve was starting to sweat, trying not to look at what was going on. “Old grill, crappy steps, lost my footing,” he shrugged.  “This was my first stop.” Steve laughed and Thor joined in with him.

“Of course it was.”  He placed a warm hand on Steve’s shoulder as Peggy came back over with the needle.  Steve flinched the moment she got close and Thor could see the problem Peggy was having.  “Hey,” he brought Steve’s focus back on himself. “What about our gym session later?” he grinned.  Steve focused on Thor’s face as Thor took his free hand in support.

“Well, you were my next stop…or call, I should say,” he panted, starting to panic again.  Thor held a hand up to Peggy.

“Let’s just…”  Thor put both his hands on Steve’s arm to hold it securely for Peggy.  “There.” He grinned again, knowing he could hold Steve’s arm still without a problem.

“Show-off,” the blond grumbled as Peggy laughed.

“This one?” Peggy smiled, easing the needle in.  Thor could feel Steve’s muscles straining under his hands, but he could tell Steve was trying really hard to keep himself in check.  His friend bit down on his lip, keeping his eyes closed as Peggy finished and drew the needle back out. “There, all done.” When he’d opened his eyes again, she flashed Steve a grin and went to dispose of the supplies.  Thor let go of Steve’s arm and the blond breathed in deeply.

“Sorry,” he whispered as Thor put a small piece of cotton and a bandage over the injection site.  Steve looked guilty and Thor’s heart melted a little for his friend.

“Trust me, there are so many worse things I do during my day.”  Thor winked, seeming to set Steve at ease. When Peggy came back, she had discharge papers and an ‘I did it’ children’s sticker.  She put the star sticker on Steve’s shirt before he could protest.

“You did great, soldier,” she smiled.  

Steve laughed.  “Yes!” He pumped his fists in the air.  “Just wait till Buck sees this,” he joked, placing a reverent hand over the sticker.  Thor smiled and gave him a pat on the back.

“You need a ride?” he asked.  “That bandage on your leg looks pretty gnarly.”

“Nah.  Bucky’s actually here, but couldn’t come back with me.”  Steve carefully slipped off the table and gave Peggy a sheepish smile, thanking her for her help, and for not making fun of him.  Thor knew that Peggy would never make fun of someone for being afraid; she knew everyone had their own struggles in life and deserved respect when they tried overcoming them.  But Steve’s gratefulness still made him smile. He gave Steve his goodbyes and went to check on Peggy one more time.

“You need anything else, Peggy?”  She smirked at him.

“Yes, a foot massage and a nice bubble bath.  But that’ll have to wait until my shift is over,” she winked.  “Thanks again for your help, Thor. I really appreciated it. Now scoot!”  Peggy pushed him out the door and past the nurses’ station. Thor laughed and waved at the rest of his colleagues as he headed for the locker room.

***

The following day brought a slew of movers discreetly into the hospital and Thor wondered if the placement of the Jokulssen room hadn’t been intentional.  There were clothes, a few furniture pieces, and a whole slew of art supplies arriving in the hospital apartment. Thor was 33. It was hard to imagine having to stop his life, give up his independence, and live in a hospital for full time care.  It seemed Laufey’s son was incredibly lucky to have the space here. Most would be stuck in a small hospital room. It also seemed strange the family didn’t elect for in-home care instead. Or even long-term care. However, Laufey did own Hope General.  Maybe it was simply best that Loki was here. When he caught his boss again he asked, “When’s the official move-in?” looking pointedly at the door to Loki’s suite.

“A bit of a snag there,” she frowned.  “Loki’s been resistant to the suggested treatment and arguing to stay in his own space.”  She crossed her arms as Thor nodded.

“Understandably,” He acknowledged.  “Hospitals are hard, long term.” He thought back on his residency in a long-term care facility with fondness, but most of the stories were sad ones that ended in death.  Serving as a military nurse in the Marines had been fast paced and structured, but at least all his patients had the option of making it out alive, most of the time. There was no accounting for IED’s or fire fight, but no one had an already assigned death sentence like most of the people he’d cared for in long-term care.

“It may be understandable, but his health should take precedence.  Here, he’d get a lot better care than any in-home nurse. That, I can guarantee,” she huffed, proud of her staff at Hope.  Jane was an intimidating woman when she wanted to be. Thor didn’t doubt she could win Loki over, but she wasn’t the one making the calls.  “Maria has a call with him later today, but I think she’s just going to rub him the wrong way. From what I’ve gathered, he’s very particular about people.”  Jane sighed and rubbed her temples. Thor just smiled and gave her a pat on the shoulder.

“If he picks us, I know he’ll be happy with you, Jane.”  She smiled at him.

“You always know how to cheer me up, big guy.  If he picks us, he should be here tomorrow or the next.”  She shook her head. “If… Listen to me…if…” Jane smirked and patted his shoulder in return.  “He’ll be here within the week,” she decided. Thor nodded back to her.

“Right-o, boss lady.”  He gave her a thumbs up.  “If you need me to pick up any extra shifts with the schedule juggling, let me know.  Also,” Thor pointed an accusatory finger at Jane, “I am perfectly capable of night shifts, Jane.  I know you all have been shielding them from me for some reason, but I was a Marine,” he reminded her, a bit proudly.  “Night shifts don’t scare me, and I know you usually rotate them around.” Jane blushed, looking a tad guilty, as Thor huffed, petulantly.  He knew his colleagues adored him, but he definitely didn’t need special treatment. For the first four months he’d worked at Hope, night shifts had been part of his schedule, but for the past two months they’d suddenly dropped off.

“Well,” she confided, “it actually wasn’t intentional.  Hogun and Natasha really enjoy working at night, and I’ve been giving the remaining shifts to the less experienced new hires, because they need to learn.”  Thor nodded, unsure if he believed her fully. “But I’ll keep that in mind,” she promised. “Now I gotta scoot and see if I can weasel my way onto Maria’s call.”  She hurried off to Thor’s laughter.

“Bye!” he called.  He’d talk to Natasha when she came in, maybe.  Ask about the night shifts, if he was brave enough.

***

Jane had been right.  Loki had come to stay before the week was out, and things were busier than ever at Hope.  Thor found out only two of the nurses still on staff had been here for Loki’s last stay: Pam and Evelyn.  Thor loved them to death and always delighted in their stories. Whenever he did rounds with them, he found new tips and tricks to pick up.  Not that he didn’t have his own. They just came from a different generation of nursing, and he was glad to learn different ways of doing things he already knew.  They were great at care and incredibly kind. With them assigned to Loki, Thor had a few different rounds added to his schedule. It wasn’t more work, but some of the regulars would have a new face.  He smiled, picking up a chart for a young boy, reading through the information provided. He’d broken his arm a month and a half ago and was in to have the cast removed. He read over the parents’ names, as well, not knowing who would be with him.

“Hey Danny!” Thor chimed, when he’d stepped into the room.  “My name is Thor, and I’ll be removing that cast of yours today.”  He shook the father’s hand, who introduced himself as Ben, and focused back on Danny.

“Where’s Miss Evelyn?” Danny asked, confused.  “She said she’d be here to see my cast removed.”  He pouted when Thor came to stand next to him.

“Miss Evelyn was given an important task today,” Thor whispered, conspiratorially.

“Really?” the boy’s eyes widened.  “What is it?”

“She’s helping a wizard on his quest.  Have you seen the fountain of good health anywhere?”  Danny laughed.

“That doesn’t exist,” he insisted.

“Oh.  The wizard will be very sad to hear that,” Thor nodded solemnly.  Danny looked down at his cast.

“I guess if Miss Evelyn has to help the wizard you’ll be OK in her place.  I’ve been awfully itchy.” Danny’s father gave Thor an appreciative smile for putting his young son at ease.

“We’re celebrating with lunch at the train restaurant after this,” his father let on.  Danny clapped his hands.

“Yes!  Yes!” he cheered.  “I almost forgot. Have you seen the trains at the train restaurant?” he asked Thor.  Thor grinned down at him.

“Can’t say that I have.  But I’m new to the city.”  Thor got things prepared to remove the cast, washed his hands, and put on a pair of gloves.  As he set to work, Danny babbled on and on about the restaurant until Thor was finished and ready to call a doctor in for a final check.

“You were very brave today, Danny,” Thor said, in all seriousness.  “Make sure to pick up a sticker before you go, and have fun at lunch!”  He waved the father and son off and turned to Dr. Enson. “Do you know the train restaurant?”  For all Danny’s excitement, Thor felt like maybe he was missing out on some great Chicago experience.  The doctor laughed.

“It’s pretty much torture with or without children.  I don’t recommend it unless you’re really into trains.  Thanks, Thor.” He signed the papers in Danny’s chart and handed it back.  “I’m hoping the next ten look as good as Danny.”

“Me too,” Thor agreed, waving as the doctor left for his next case.  Thor walked the file back up to the desk just in time to hear a loud crash from the Jokulssen room.

“Don’t…don’t touch that!” came a screech from inside.

“Alright,” came Evelyn’s calm reply.  Thor picked up on the slight distress in her tone, though.  He assumed Loki had changed quite a bit for her since she last had him as a patient.  “But we’ll need to move it eventually for the medical equipment,” she explained.

“Don’t move it.”  Loki was starting to sound a bit panicked, so Thor poked his head into the room.  The younger man had his back to him and no one had noticed Thor. Loki was mumbling to himself “Everything has its place, everything has its place, everything has its place.”  Each time he said it he gave a tap to the beautiful antique clock that sat on a table next to the hospital bed.

“I know, honey,” Evelyn soothed, placing a hand on Loki’s shoulder.  “And I know this is hard for you. Especially after you’d finally settled in your new place.  But we’ll find a proper place for your clock, OK?” At that moment, Loki turned around to glare at her and Thor caught a glimpse of Laufey’s son for the first time.  He was slender and had long, ink black hair that was pulled back into a messy bun. Loki wore a faded, black, Journey t-shirt, and a pair of red and white, plaid harem pants.  Thor’s breath caught in his throat and he felt his cock stir. Loki was more beautiful than any other man he’d met and his brain, unhelpfully, started supplying images of Loki pouting at him, turning his blushing face away because of something sweet Thor had said, kissing him.  He felt instantly guilty at his reaction to a hospital patient, and worked hard to get himself back under control.

“I’m not a child, Evelyn,” Loki snarled, snatching his hand away from the clock to pace about the room itself.

“I am aware, sweetheart,” she deadpanned.  “You’ll just have to forgive this old woman.”  Thor wanted to laugh. Evelyn had a way about her that he hoped he could emulate someday.  When Loki turned to face her, his expression had softened.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, staring down at his hands.  “The compulsion gets worse with new places, and this has quite uprooted me.”  Evelyn smiled at him.

“I know, honey.  Now come get back on this bed for me.”  She patted the hospital mattress, then bent down to collect the items that had fallen onto the floor.  “Tell me how you’re feeling today, hmm?”

Thor ducked out of the room, the situation well under control.  He was amazed he hadn’t been spotted. It seemed Loki had more going on than just the anemia that had brought him here.  Thor filed the information away for later and moved on to his next patient.

***

Towards the end of his shift, Peggy caught up with him.  “Thor-bear!” she cried, giving him a wild smile. “Steve and his friend Bucky invited me out tonight for some drinks.  You want to join us? Maybe bring a few friends?” Thor appreciated the offer, he really did. All day he’d been thinking about Loki.  Like, all day. He’d only gotten a brief glimpse of the raven haired man and he was already obsessed. The cute way he pouted and whined at Evelyn; the beautiful flush of red that had crept onto his pale cheeks as he apologized.  Even his fidgeting intrigued Thor. He knew next to nothing and already wanted to know everything about the hospital’s new resident. For all he knew, this could be more of a date that Peggy had been invited to go on, but Thor needed this distraction, so he pushed that thought away.  It was Friday night, and he had a late start the next day.

“That sounds great,” he agreed, quickly, happily, already considering inviting Sif and Fandral.  Peggy gave him a quick laugh.

“Really need a night out, eh?” she joked.

“Something like that,” Thor smiled, running a hand through his hair, trying to dispel how awkward he felt suddenly.  “I’ll see if my friends Sif and Fandral are available,” he told her. He’d known Sif for most of his life, and Thor had been over-the-moon when she’d decided to take a job in Chicago a few weeks ago.  Sif, on the other hand, was missing the slower pace of Savannah, and the weather. Thor heard, almost daily, how awful the snow was. How terrible the cold! Why was she stuck in such a sunless, cold hell?  The beach area along Lake Shore Drive was nothing like the place she’d left. You couldn’t even go in the water. Savannah was in the 60’s right now. The sun was starting to come out pretty regularly. Nearby Tybee Island was full of friends Sif had made and beach beach beach.  Almost needless to say, Sif, too, was desperate for distractions and in need of new friends. The only thing going for Chicago right now was Sif’s overwhelming fulfillment with the job she’d taken. She’d been offered a position to run a large battered women’s shelter/non-profit in Chicago and found a great purpose in helping the women who walked through their doors.  Fandral, on the other hand, lived across the hall from Thor. He’d never met someone with such a zeal for life and living it to the fullest. Fandral was somehow independently wealthy and spent his time sculpting, when he felt like it, and giving tours of the city he’d grown up in when he didn’t feel like it. The man was not an artist, but he knew so much more about art than his skills let on.  He’d introduced Thor to the gym he’d met Steve at and helped him get acclimated with the neighborhood. He’d taught Thor the bus system and how the Metra worked. He had even hinted, quite a few times, that Thor could have it made as a bouncer in the city. Thor had laughed for a long while at that. But Fandral had quickly become a fast friend and Thor felt he’d known him almost as long as Sif. When Sif had moved to Chicago, it had been Fandral who had dragged them both out on the town, and Fandral who had propositioned them both when they were walking home.  It seemed this was just Fandral’s way. They’d declined, but Thor watched Sif give him the once over. It might take a while, but he suspected Sif would take Fandral up on his offer, eventually. He was charming, and paid attention. He cared about personal hygiene, and, most importantly, he was interested in knowing people. Anyone would find that a winning combination.

“We’re headed to Cub Sox.”  Peggy rolled her eyes. Thor didn’t catch the reference and gave her a questioning look.  She shook her head. “It’s a kitschy baseball themed bar, but I guess Steve loves it.” She sighed.  “The things I do for decent company.” Peggy placed a hand over her heart, lamenting her fate. Thor laughed.

“Well, I’ve never been, so I’m sure it’ll be fun to experience my reaction.  Indoctrinate the newbies, right?” He grinned, giving Peggy a thumbs up.

“I suppose,” she groaned, jokingly.  “I’ll see you there around 10, yeah?”  Thor nodded and went to text Sif and Fandral on his break.  

***

When he next checked, Sif was in and Fandral was whining, but begrudgingly agreeing to meet them all there; mostly because ‘your friend needs to be schooled in the fine world of Chicago bars.’  Thor joked with him about it, mentioning Peggy’s reaction, but made sure Fandral wouldn’t embarrass Steve too much. He was becoming a good friend of Thor’s and he didn’t want Fandral scaring him off.  Locking his phone back up, he walked back to the main desk to grab the file for his next patient. As he read, Evelyn walked up to him.

“Thor, honey,” she addressed him hastily.

“Hey, Evelyn!  To what do I owe the pleasure?” he looked over at her after leafing through his patient’s file.

“I gotta jet early, hon.  My granddaughter is coming to town and I need to pick her up from the airport.”  Thor nodded. “Well, you know Pam’s off for the week, which just leaves me with Loki.  Everything should be fine, but can you bring him his meds tonight, for me? I cleared it with Jane, but I wanted to brief you, if it’s alright.”  Thor felt a little nervous. There were so many excellent nurses that he worked with, and he felt many more might be better suited than him.

“Are you sure?” he confirmed.  “I mean…Natasha’s got seniority over me and might be a better choice.”  Evelyn laughed.

“You can’t be serious, honey.  If there’s one person at this hospital most similar to my own style of caregiving, it’s you.  He’s OK with me, so he should be fine with you. It’s just bringing him a cup of pills. It should be fine.”  She smoothed the front of her shirt before looking up at Thor seriously. “It is important that he take them all, though.  He’s due for a blood transfusion tomorrow, so pills and rest are important.” Thor gripped the folder he was holding a little tighter.  He felt honored that Evelyn considered his nursing style to be similar to her own. She was an excellent nurse. So why was he feeling anxious all the sudden?  He had been in the medical field for years. He had plenty of experience with people in much worse conditions than Loki. He’d been to war… Thor shook himself internally, giving up that train of thought.

“Alright,” he agreed, easily enough.  “What do I need to know?” Evelyn briefed him on what medications Loki was taking before he needed to ask another question.  “Does he need to be in bed? I don’t know the protocol with all the rooms he has,” he confessed. Evelyn smirked.

“It’s a bit of a pickle, isn’t it?  Yes, the rooms are his to use as he pleases, but only insofar as it doesn’t endanger his health.  If he’s not getting enough rest, that’s an issue. If he’s consistently wearing himself out because he’d rather be up and doing things, that’s an issue.  Loki also deals with OCD on occasion, so you need to be mindful of that. If the things he’s doing are especially triggering for him, again, that’s an issue.  But if he’s content and as healthy as he’d be in that hospital bed, he’s OK to be up and about and doing what’s good for him. He’s also not at a phase, yet, where he needs to be in that bed.  So if he’d rather sleep in the bedroom that’s his, then he’s OK to sleep there instead of the hospital bed we’ve got. Just use your judgement, Thor. You have a good head on your shoulders. I know you’ll be fine for a few hours.  Hogun will be here tonight, in case there’s anything Loki needs, and you can’t find someone more Zen than that boy. I’ll be back in the morning, so don’t fret.” She winked at him and Thor let out a tiny sigh.

“OK.  Should be fine,” he agreed, giving her a big smile.  Evelyn thanked him again and gave Thor a bit more information on Loki’s care.  After that, she ran off for the airport and Thor left to greet his next patient.

***

Around 9 pm that night, Thor wheeled a cart up to Loki’s door.  He picked up the cup of pills and a small bottle of water and headed inside.  Despite all the assurances from Evelyn, he still wasn’t prepared for what met him inside the room.  Loki stood in a glass enclosure. It had been empty the last time Thor had gotten a good look at the inside of the Jokulssen apartment.  The walls were almost all glass, so you could see into the entire space, and there were art supplies neatly stacked everywhere. Loki’s back was to Thor, mixed paints at the ready.  "Ho capito! Signor, sì" from Don Giovanni was blasting through the small speaker he had in the room, the name of the song shown to Thor on the tablet screen set up just outside the room, likely to protect it from the paint.  Loki’s arms seemed to be vibrating, his hands shaking harder than the rest of his arms. Thor also noticed the canvas he had in the room was secured with heavy duty clamps to keep it from moving or shifting in its place. 

When the music hit a crescendo, Loki attacked the blank canvas in front of him.  His hands slammed into some of the paint and he threw himself at the white cloth before him, painting like a dance, or a battle, twisting and turning, his hands constantly moving.  Only a few times Thor caught his expression and it was one of anger and frustration. His mood matched the operatic ranting flowing from behind the glass. The song lasted only a few minutes, but Thor was completely captivated.  When it switched over to a more peaceful tone—“Barcarolle” from Offenbach’s “Tales of Hoffman,” said the screen—Loki seemed to sag with the tune. He wiped his hands and chose new paint colors, his hands falling limply onto the canvas.  These strokes seemed longing, expressing exhaustion. When at last he noticed Thor, the song had ended and Loki was panting. Thor walked up to the door and opened it. The man inside regarded him with open curiosity, tilting his head to the left and dragging his eyes over Thor’s form.  Thor cleared his throat, willing his voice to be even.

“I have your pills for the night,” Thor smiled, finally pulling himself out of his own ogling.  “Evelyn had to leave early today.” Loki took a few cautious steps towards Thor, his hands dripping in paint.

“This used to be a playroom,” the younger man explained, over the hum of Enya’s “Only Time,” still assessing Thor.  “There’s so much glass so they could keep an eye on me. I usually don’t let people watch me paint.” Loki stopped right in front of him and Thor instantly felt naked under his gaze.  His heart rate sped up as Loki invaded his personal space.

“What…what are you working on?” Thor stammered, looking over at the unfinished canvas, the cup of pills and the little bottle of water completely forgotten in his hands.

“I paint for myself,” Loki asserted.  “This is just me working through my thoughts.  I let my playlist help corral the inspiration.”  Loki turned back to the canvas and ‘tsked.’ “You’re ruining my flow.”  He turned back to Thor. “What did you want again?” Thor blushed, feeling bad for intruding while Loki was working on something.  But this was his job, as much as painting was Loki’s. He held up the cup of pills, remembering why he’d come in the first place.

“Your medication,” he supplied.  Loki smirked and held up his paint smeared hands.  Without saying another word, the younger man fixed him with another heavy stare and opened his mouth.  Thor couldn’t believe his luck. Evelyn had talked about easy, right? Giving him a little cup of pills and some water should have been easy.  In and out in a few minutes, tops. But it looked like Loki enjoyed turning this into a game. Turning Thor’s job into a challenge. Seeing how far he could push the boundaries.  Thor chuckled and shook his head. If he wanted a challenge, Thor would meet it head on. He poured the pills into Loki’s mouth and went to open the bottle of water, making sure Loki knew it hadn’t been opened before pouring some of the liquid into his mouth.  “Is that enough water or do you need more?” Loki’s face looked flushed all the sudden, as he turned away from Thor and walked back to the canvas. Evidently it was enough water. “Are you feeling alright tonight?” He needed to clarify before he left. Loki turned around and glared at Thor.  When Disturbed’s cover of “The Sound of Silence” began flooding his ears, Thor got the hint. He was cramping Loki’s style; ruining his groove. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I just need a quick check-in and I’ll leave you to it.” Thor capped the bottle of water and left it on the floor near the door.  When the flush on Loki’s face got a bit deeper, Thor started to worry that maybe he was over-exerting himself.

“I’m not too tired to paint,” Loki seethed.  “Painting is actually an outlet for my OCD, so you’re all covered there.  If I start to over-exert myself, I’ll take a break.” Loki sighed and forgot himself for a moment, placing a paint covered hand to his face.  He jumped when he felt the slippery, cool pigment hit his skin and turned away from Thor quickly. “I’ve taken my meds, and I’ll be in bed by midnight, a few hours earlier than my normal routine.  Happy?” 

“Thank you,” Thor whispered and closed the door quickly behind him.  He didn’t want to disrupt Loki any further, and Thor needed to calm himself down before seeing anyone else.  Despite the attitude, Thor was incredibly aroused by the whole interaction he’d just had. Loki was gorgeous and focused when he worked.  It was like a trance. When he gave you his attention, you knew you held it, for his gaze was heavy, like a weighted blanket placed on your shoulders.  He enjoyed teasing and ruffling others’ feathers. And when he became embarrassed, he became silent and surly. The whole scene had felt like a hand down his pants and it wasn’t helping quell his thoughts in the least.  Thor ducked into the breakroom and locked himself in the bathroom there. He took a few deep breaths and meditated a bit. _‘You’re a professional,’_ he coached himself.   _‘You can handle this.  Don’t let a patient rattle you.  You’ve had a great career so far.’_  He turned on the sink faucet and splashed his face a few times.   _‘You’re being ridiculous, Thor’_ he chastised.  Thor stared at himself in the mirror, a hard look on his face.  He pointed a finger at his reflection. “Stop being a perv and do your job.”  Thor left for the nurses station, hoping to finish up a bit of paperwork before heading out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited to finally be sharing this with everyone here. <3 I'll be posting a chapter a day until this is all done. There will be three works to this series. I have all of pt. 1 written, at least half of pt 2. Pt. 3 you'll have to wait for. If you have some time, let me know what you think!! <3 Thank you so much for your love and support.
> 
> Here's the link to the art again: [Kamthe is amazing.](http://kamthe.tumblr.com/post/180061901601/hi-everyone-im-here-with-my-second-thorki)
> 
>  
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ktspree13)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting a second chapter today as a gift for all of you. ;) From here on out, I'll be posting a chapter a day. :-*
> 
> Check out the amazing art by Kamthe [here!](http://kamthe.tumblr.com/post/180061901601/hi-everyone-im-here-with-my-second-thorki)

Later that night, Fandral had convinced Steve to check out another sports bar, to everyone’s enjoyment, and Steve agreed he needed to branch out a bit more.  When they had tired of the sports bar, and a few of them had wanted to dance, Fandral dragged them all to a posh bar inside an old bank. The vault was open with couches inside for seating, and it still had all the safety deposit boxes in it.  Much to everyone’s surprise, the girls got handsy with each other on the dance floor while the rest of their party watched in awe. How had he forgotten Sif was such an excellent dancer? He felt like he should have taken Sif out more often. A few songs in and Fandral had already joined them with Bucky not far behind.  

Thor couldn’t seem to get into the fun air that had taken over his friends.  His thoughts were turbulent, wishing to see more of the brooding painter that had captured his attention.  Worried for his health. He should have told Hogun to make sure he actually did get to bed at midnight. Maybe he should text Hogun.  He always had his work cell on him, after all. Or maybe he’d just had too much to drink, and it was the alcohol turning his thoughts dark and melancholy.  Steve kept Thor company as he continued to play with the little doors to the safety deposit boxes, nursing another beer. He gave Steve a smile. He was a good friend.

***

By the time two am neared, everyone needed to call it a night.  Peggy, Steve, and Bucky all lived on the south side of town and had hailed a cab by the time Thor had gotten out of the bar, closing their tab.

“Thanks for the fun night, you guys!” Peggy had called to them.  Thor smiled and nodded, waving as the cab drove off. When it was just the three of them, Sif and Fandral cornered Thor. 

“What is going on?” Sif protested, slinging her bag across her body.  Thor started walking towards their place, trying to avoid the third degree.

“Nothing.”  Fandral and Sif both rolled their eyes, following next to him.

“Nothing?  Or something, but you’re confident it’s nothing you can’t handle?”  Sif fixed him with a knowing look and Thor kicked the sidewalk.

“Nothing,” he mumbled, near unintelligibly.  Fandral linked his arms with Thor and Sif before turning his dazzling smile upon Thor.

“Ah, young love,” he predicted, with a satisfied look on his face.  Thor drew his arm away and stopped walking.

“What are you talking about?” he panicked.  Surely he’d said nothing all night about Loki.  He may have fantasized about him a few times, but he’d been present, for the most part.  Fandral and Sif drew up close to him, stopping their gait, as well.

“Woah, big guy.”  Fandral put his hands up in surrender.  “I didn’t mean anything by it. You just seemed to have an air about you tonight, like you were thinking of someone else.”  Fandral gave a quick glance to Sif who shrugged her shoulders. “And since all your good friends are here,” he tried for a bit of humor, “I assumed it was someone you’d just met.”  Thor stared at him, momentarily at a loss for what to say. It seemed like such a cliché that he’d fallen for a patient. And it was ridiculous to entertain the thought. It went against the ethics of being a nurse.

“Thor, we’re your friends.  There’s no judgement here, so just…”  Sif huffed, tired of not knowing what was wrong.  “Spit it out,” she insisted. Thor crossed his arms at that, hating the way Sif knew just how to break him down and spill everything to her.  It’d been her great talent, ever since they were kids. In Pre-K, she’d gotten him to tell her he’d accidentally soiled his shorts. Sif had somehow found him a clean pair that fit and they’d been friends ever since.  Some days, she was literally his hero. Today did not seem like one of those days.

“It’s a new patient at the hospital,” he blushed.  Just saying it made him feel icky. “He’ll likely be there a long time, and…I can’t stop thinking about him.  I was hoping tonight would distract me, but I guess it didn’t really work.”

“It did for awhile,” Fandral assured him, clapping Thor on the shoulder.  “We didn’t really notice anything until the last bar, there. Even Bucky, who’d never met you before, was wondering what was wrong.”

“We told him you were pouting because the DJ wouldn’t play Barbie Girl for you,” Sif grinned.  Fandral snickered and Thor threw his hands in the air and started walking again.

“This is serious, Sif.  It’s unethical to date someone I give care to.  And I hate that song,” he retorted. His friends started walking behind him again, not knowing exactly what to say.  A few minutes passed in silence as Thor brooded and stewed on his own.

“What’s he like?” Fandral asked, trying to break the ice.  Thor unclenched his fists, trying to calm down.

“He’s a painter,” Thor murmured, almost afraid to talk about Loki.  When neither prodded for more information, he kept going. “He has long black hair, sharp green eyes, and he enjoys playing with people.  But he’s also very particular and cautious about who he interacts with.” When they’d still said nothing, he gave one last comment before he felt like any more information would be a breach of privacy.  “He paints like it’s the end of the world.” As they kept walking, Fandral and Sif slipped their arms around his waist.

“It’ll be alright, Thor,” Sif whispered, leaning her head against his shoulder.  “We’re here for you, and we’ll help you figure things out, if you need us.”

“Anytime, friend,” Fandral smiled, patting Thor’s hip. 

***

Thor’s Saturday was relatively peaceful.  He worked at noon, and he ended at five. It was a short day, and he was glad the hospital set schedules this way.  His regular hours were ten hours, nine hours, eight, eight, five, and it had been a contributing factor in choosing Hope.  At the end of his shift, Thor picked up his schedule for next week and laughed. Jane passed by at that exact moment and winked at him.  Starting Tuesday, he was on night shifts for the whole week. Luckily, he had two days to prepare.

Thor was happy to be back in the night shift rotation for the month.  Not because he loved these shifts, but because he felt like a regular part of the team again.  Some of the newer hires smiled at him as he was leaving, clearly glad they weren’t working his schedule next week.  Stepping outside, he pulled his phone out to text Steve, Sif, and Fandral.

‘Night shifts all next week,’ he typed.  ‘Be prepared to miss me, or party at weird hours,’ he joked.  To Steve, he texted his morning availability (after 8am, most days) for workouts.  Steve said he’d get back to him. He ran his own personal training business out of a different gym, so his hours were appointment based.  His reply likely meant he didn’t have time to look at his schedule right then. Thor shot back a ‘No problem’ before opening a group message from Sif to him and Fandral.

‘Does this mean we have to keep your baby ass up all night?’  Thor laughed.

‘Please?’ he shot back with one of those pouty face emojis.  Fandral replied with a panicky gif.

‘I need more time to prepare!’ he wrote.  Thor smiled. He really did have the best friends.

‘I’ll be home in twenty,’ he sent back.  ‘I expect dinner. Candles, a string quartet, and that amazing cream cake your grandmother makes for dessert.’  Fandral’s reply was a photo of himself, fresh from the shower, only wearing a towel and flipping Thor off.

‘You’ll take what you can get,’ he wrote.  Sif responded with a bunch of crying/laughing emojis, and Thor sent him a winky face.

***

By the time Sunday afternoon rolled around, Thor couldn’t wait to crawl into bed.  Just as he’d settled under the covers, his work phone went off. Thor grunted and turned over to grab it.  His colleagues would be aware of his schedule change by now, so it had to be important.

‘Hey honey,’ it read.  Evelyn, he decided.

‘Wats hapning’ he typed, sleepily, not caring about the spelling errors for a change.

‘Sorry to bother.  I know you’re off. Did everything go alright with Loki on Friday?’  Thor groaned. He hadn’t fantasized about him for the entire day, and his thoughts came roaring back on the subject.  He rubbed at his eyes and sat up. If Evelyn was asking about it, something must be wrong.

‘Yes.  No issues.  He was painting, I gave him his pills, he took them, said he was fine.  I let him be. I made the notes in his chart…’ He sat there, staring at his phone for a few minutes.  If he had to come in now, he’d have to take a cab. He was too tired for public transit. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, when Evelyn still hadn’t responded.

‘He’s just been real quiet.  Reluctant to talk to me or Pam.  Yesterday morning he asked about you, and after his transfusion he slept for most of the day.  Pam came back today and neither of us have really been able to get through to him.’ Thor frowned.  It was never good when a patient wouldn’t talk. Communication was probably the most important part of caregiving.  He massaged his temples, trying to think of anything that might help.

‘Honestly, there was nothing strange that happened,’ he typed.  ‘He had paint on his hands, so I tipped the cup of pills into his mouth and gave him some water.  Upon his request. I asked how he was, then left.’ After a minute had gone by, Thor laid back down.  His bed was comfy and he didn’t want to leave. It was a few more minutes before he got a reply.

‘OK.  I’ll see if Hogun noticed anything the last two nights.’

‘Do you need me to come in?’ he wrote back quickly, but reluctantly.

‘We’ll figure it out, honey.  Don’t worry about it.’ Thor sighed, really hoping they did.

‘Alright.  I’m headed to bed.  Call if emergency,’ he let her know.  ‘I’ll be there, no problem.’

‘Thanks, Thor.  You get some rest.’

***

When his alarm went off at ten pm that night, he rolled out of bed, ready for his “day.”  It was weird coming back to having nights to himself, but his first order of business was checking his work phone.  He didn’t think anyone had called (he left the ringer on pretty loud), but he wanted to make sure there weren’t any messages.  When the screen came up there weren’t any missed calls, but he had a few other messages. 

The first was from Jane: ‘We need to chat, when you’re free.’ 

He sent one back to her.  ‘Yeah, whenever. I’m up.’ 

The next was from Evelyn: ‘I think it’s just his OCD acting up.  Don’t worry too much, honey. It’s nothing I haven’t handled before.’  Very Evelyn. Thor smiled. Things likely weren’t going too well, otherwise Jane wouldn’t have texted him.  But Evelyn didn’t want to ruin his day off with him worrying over a patient. He waited to reply until he’d read the last message.

This was from Pam: ‘Don’t worry about Janie, Thor.  Loki’s family was in today to visit and noticed more than just Evelyn and I had been in looking after him, which all of us hadn’t fully talked about with Loki, or his family.  Laufey wanted to meet the other nurses we were thinking of adding to the rotation, since it’s become clear we need more than just Evelyn and me.’ Thor whined. Clearly, it’d been a bad day to be off work and starting a different sleep schedule.  He wrote back to Pam first.

‘Yo! Yo!  Welcome back!!  How was Toronto?  Also, sounds like a bad day for me to be gone.  Am I fired??’ Thor added a winky face to show he was joking, hopefully.  A few minutes later, she replied.

‘Hey sleepy-head!  Yes, you’re totally fired.  How dare you go to bed in the middle of the day?  I’m headed to bed soon myself, so I’ll have to tell you about Toronto when we’re working the same schedule again.’ 

Thor shot back a ‘Sounds good.’ before another text came through.

‘So, the doc upped Loki’s OCD meds, and he opened up a little more when his family came.  We talked through night nurse options with all of them since Evelyn and I don’t do them anymore.  Loki got along well enough with Hogun, and Hogun primarily works at night, so that was great.’ It seemed like Pam was avoiding something, and Thor started to panic a little.

‘Be honest, did I mess something up with Loki?’  He needed to know. Maybe his actions had been a little inappropriate.  Maybe Loki had asked that he be put under review because he’d felt uncomfortable.  He wasn’t sure, but he needed to know.

‘No,’ was the quick response he got, and Thor felt relieved.  Maybe the issues had nothing to do with him, then. Maybe Loki was just having trouble adjusting.  He got up to use the bathroom and had a much longer text from Pam when he got back. ‘Jane talked about a lot of the nurses on staff that moved between day and night time shifts, asking Loki who he thought would be an OK fit to try out.  The kid kept staring out the window at the outdoor garden, and Evelyn and I were thinking maybe we pushed a bit too hard with everything we were asking. But Farbauti, oh, that’s Loki’s mother, by the way. When she went over and put an arm around him, he turned around and asked about you.  I’ve never seen that kid so shy about asking for something.’ 

Thor’s heartbeat sped up.  They couldn’t seriously be considering putting him on the full-time care rotation with them.  He’d combust! He’d get too close one day, and it’d all be over. Thor groaned, trying to figure out a way to phrase what he wanted to say.  ‘And?’ was all he could come up with. _‘Lame, Odinson,’_ he thought to himself.

‘Aaaaaannnddd, Laufey wants to meet you.  Though, he was a lot less resistant when he realized you’d been named our nurse of the month last month.’  Pam sent him a winky face and Thor rolled his eyes. _‘No….’_ he thought, miserably.  ‘So be here tomorrow at 7:30am and you’ll make everyone very happy.  Hopefully it doesn’t take any longer than a few minutes, and you can have the rest of the day to yourself.  If everyone’s happy, you’ll be on Loki’s rotation this whole week, and Hogun will pick up nights whenever you’re off them.’  Thor flopped back on the bed, not knowing what to do. How bad was it to care for a patient you were attracted to? Thor had never encountered this before, so he wasn’t sure what to think.

‘OK.’ was all he sent back.  And then a quick ‘Goodnight!’ remembering Pam’s earlier statement.

‘Goodnight, sweet cheeks,’ she teased back, sending him another winky face.  Thor threw the phone on the floor, not sure what to do about the whole situation.  He sighed. So instead of dealing with it, he got out of bed, threw a shirt on, and went in search of breakfast, at 10:30 at night.  Halfway to the kitchen, he groaned, remembering his personal phone, which he’d turned off. Thor trudged back to his room to turn it on, and waited for his messages to load.  He had one from Fandral and all it said was ‘Come over.’ Thor smirked and padded his way to the door of his apartment, grabbing his keys, locking the door, and knocking on Fandral’s.  Sif answered, to his surprise.

“You’re finally awake!” she called, pulling him in for a hug.  She seemed a bit tipsy.

“Yes, and it seems you’ve been partying without me,” he chuckled.  Thor hugged her back and let go when Fandral came to the door. Sif, on the other hand, did not let go.

“You rang?” Thor joked with him.

“Weeeeeelllll…”  Fandral grinned. “It seems Siffy got invited to some ladies night out thing with her work and asked to be dropped off here, forgetting you were working nights this week.”  Thor smirked. “She buzzed my apartment and told me to be quiet because you were sleeping.” Fandral laughed. Thor smiled and patted Sif on the back. His friends had had a full night already, it seemed, and it cheered his heart, distracting him from his own issues.

“Thor!” she admonished.  “How could you not warn Fanny?” she gave Fandral a pitying frown before patting his cheek.  Fandral turned bright red and Thor knew exactly what she was talking about.

“Ah, sorry, friend.  Sif is right, I should have warned you.  Until otherwise specified, Sif is a ‘no touch’ drunk, lest ye be flung to the floor in her righteous indignation for her femininity,” he quoted, eloquently.  Sif laughed.

“Yes, I could have used that warning before me was flung to said floor.”  Fandral rolled his eyes, but smiled. “How on earth are you so strong?” Fandral wondered.  Thor put an arm around Sif’s waist and squeezed.

“I train a lot and teach self-defense classes,” she winked.  “Well, I used to teach classes. I haven’t started anything up yet here.”  Sif kissed Fandral’s cheek and went to collect his wallet and keys, along with her purse.  “Come on, I want pancakes,” she insisted, pushing everyone out the door. At that, both boys protested, moving quickly to grab coats and shoes and hats and gloves to stay warm.  When Sif had started for the stairs, Thor realized he hadn’t even gotten a chance to change from his pajamas. He smiled, watching his two friends fight on the way down the stairs.   _‘What a great day,’_ he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bar at the beginning with the vault inside was a real Chicago bar. I went there once for my birthday, and it was really cool. It's shut down now, but I still think about it sometimes. :) And that's all for this chapter!! :) Look for the new installment tomorrow! :D <3
> 
>  
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ktspree13)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're squicked by the blood stuff, SPOILER, Loki gets a nosebleed at the beginning, just after the first asterisk break. You'd need to skip that bit, and the break following it. Picking back up at 'when his shift ended.'
> 
> Check out the amazing art by Kamthe [here!](http://kamthe.tumblr.com/post/180061901601/hi-everyone-im-here-with-my-second-thorki)

Sif had crashed on his couch that night while Thor petered around his apartment doing laundry and other chores he’d neglected earlier in the week.  When you were supposed to be up when most people were asleep, things seemed to get done. He felt more focused on his tasks without the bright sun and the distraction of the day.  By the time 6am rolled around, though, he was in the shower, getting ready for his meeting at the hospital. When 6:30 hit, he gently woke Sif, encouraging her to get moving, as well.  After she’d showered, used all his toiletries, pulled a pair of fresh underwear, miraculously, from her bag, stolen Thor’s second favorite sweater, and eaten half his dinner, it was 6:50, and they both needed to get going.

           “I want that back,” he told Sif, pointing to his sweater.

           “Sure, sure,” she replied, offhandedly.  Thor frowned, hoping that actually meant yes and not Sif’s way of putting off ever returning the garment.  They made it out the door, Thor locking it behind them, and out the building.

           “I’ll call you later about how the meeting goes,” he fidgeted, worrying over meeting Laufey for the first time.

           “Please,” she kissed his cheek.  “And stop getting so worked up, Thor.  It’ll be fine.”

           “Yeah,” he hoped, waving her off to catch her bus a few blocks up.  Thor walked in the opposite direction for the train and hurried to make it on time.

***

In the end, there’d been no reason to worry.  Everyone was happy to have Thor on Loki’s transplant team, and Laufey apologized for not meeting Thor sooner.  As owner, he liked getting to know the new hires, he’d explained, but hadn’t had time with Loki getting sick. He’d had a massive freak-out with Sif and Fandral later that afternoon, worrying over how he would ever stay professional with the attraction he felt for Loki.  Like the good friends they were, they talked him down. Sif had a few suggestions, and Fandral told him to also let things be. If he was doing his job and it wasn’t an issue, then there would be nothing to worry about. No use crying over spilled milk and all that. If things got harder, they’d come up with some more solutions.

           So when he was standing in front of Loki’s bed at 3 am on Friday, he really wished he’d come up with something a bit more concrete.  Luckily, he had his job to focus on, which Loki sorely needed him to do right now. The younger man was shaking nervously, staring up at Thor.  He had been sleeping in the room with a regular bed for the past three nights, and it had been all quiet on the Loki front. Now, it looked a little like a warzone.  His pillow was covered in blood, and there were copious amounts of bloody tissues strewn about the bed. Thor had gotten a notice about the nurse call button ten minutes ago, but Loki had clearly been up for a lot longer than that.  Thor smiled and sat down next to Loki to measure his heart rate.

           “Sorry,” Loki mumbled.  His speech sounded thick and syrupy, likely having swallowed a lot of blood.

           “Hey, it’s alright,” Thor comforted him, noting his elevated heart rate.  “Let’s take a few deep breaths and see what we can do, OK?” Loki nodded, keeping the tissue clamped over his nose.  They both took a few deep breaths and Thor walked him through a brief breathing exercise. When they’d finished, his heart rate was at an acceptable level for Thor.  “How long has this been going on?” he asked, grabbing some new tissues. Loki looked a bit guilty.

           “Maybe a few hours.  I woke up because there was so much coming out.”  His voice sounded strange from the pressure he had on his nose.

           “OK.  Let me take a quick peek.”  Loki reluctantly removed his hand, and Thor could tell the blood was still flowing.  “Alright, thank you.” He swapped out the tissues for the new ones. “You can put your hand back if you’d like.”  To which, Loki did. “Let me grab a few supplies and I’ll be right back, I promise.” The pale man nodded, seeming to feel reassured by Thor’s calm actions.  If he didn’t appear worried, Loki would feel less worried, was his hope. He ran out quickly to grab some gloves, a bio bag, another box of tissues (the good kind!), some nasal spray, and, as a last-ditch attempt, a bit of nasal packing.  When he’d returned, Loki’s position hadn’t changed. Thor began by putting some of the supplies in the bathroom, washing his hands in a sink just outside the room, then putting on the sterile gloves that were a constant fixture of his job.  When he returned to Loki’s bedside he started putting tissues into the bio bag. As he approached the pillow, Loki made a noise of protest.

           “Can you not…”  Thor hesitated with removing the pillowcase and Loki hummed.

           “If I put the pillow in a separate bag, someone can come and try to have it cleaned for you, if you’d prefer.  But I think the pillowcase is a lost cause.” Thor smiled, trying to put Loki at ease. “What do you say?” He didn’t want to do anything without Loki’s go ahead, so he waited.  Loki had twisted to the side a few moments earlier so he could look over at Thor and the pillow. His hand reached out a few times, touching parts that weren’t full of blood. With a small sigh, Loki stuffed the tissue up his nose and pulled the pillowcase off himself, handing it over to Thor.  Loki cleared his throat, a wet gurgling noise sounding in the room.

           “I really like this one,” he mentioned.  “It’s hard to find a good pillow.” Thor chuckled.

           “I completely understand.”  When Loki still looked embarrassed, Thor decided to tell his own pillow story.  “I left mine at a camp once, when I was in college. It took a month for me to find a suitable replacement.  My mother was ready to tear her hair out.” The younger man gave him a genuine laugh at that, smiling over at Thor.

           “I think my mother would have guilted me with the amount of ducks I was ‘killing’ long before a month was up,” Loki chuckled.  “And I don’t even use feather pillows.”

          Thor smiled.  “Should we move this party into the bathroom?” he suggested, needing better light and some water for his next steps.  Loki nodded, but gave the pillow another glance. “I’ll bag it up when we’re done and we’ll figure it out tomorrow, OK?”  Loki nodded again, his face looking flushed as he placed his feet on the floor. Thor gave him a hand up and the younger man rocked back and forth for a moment, placing a hand against the side of his head. “You OK?” Thor asked, concerned Loki might be ready to pass out.  Falling forward, Thor reached his arms out to catch Loki before he crashed into his chest.

           “Sorry,” Loki said for the second time that night.  Thor placed a supportive hand around Loki’s waist and forced himself to focus on helping the other man over memorizing feel of the slighter, lithe body against his own.

           “No need,” Thor insisted.  He kept a steadying arm out for Loki as the went along.  “Are you feeling dizzy?” Another sign of Loki’s anemia. The younger man nodded, leaving Thor to think through the implications.  He chewed his lip for a second as they walked towards the bathroom. “I think we should take a blood sample before you head back to bed, OK?”

           “OK,” Loki agreed, quietly.  His face seemed quite red.

           “Are you getting warm?” Thor wondered, feeling Loki’s forehead with the back of his hand.  Loki’s face got redder after that and he shook his head. “Well, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he smiled.  “You’ve definitely given us an interesting case to work with, and I’m happy you wanted me to be part of your care team.”  The blush lessened at Thor’s words and Loki smiled over at him. When they’d made it into the bathroom, Thor sat Loki on the toilet lid.  There was a chair-like frame that surrounded the toilet, making it easy for Thor to ensure Loki wouldn’t topple over if he let him go. Not that he thought he would.  The tissue Loki had stuffed up his nose was soaked through, now, and Thor removed it. He pulled a rag from one of the drawers and ran it under warm water. When he turned around, Loki already had another tissue at his nose, taken from the box Thor had placed in there earlier.

           Thor’s heart rate picked up, looking at the young man in front of him.  He had messy hair, cute pajamas, and a worshipful expression on his face.  Thor was ensnared in his gaze once again. He stepped closer and placed the warm rag to Loki’s cheek.  The younger closed his eyes and moved the tissue away for Thor. If he had to guess, Loki was enjoying the contact just as much as he was.  Thor cradled his right cheek as he wiped the blood from his face and soothed his skin with the warmth of the rag. Loki sighed. “We’re going to try a nasal spray to see if we can stop the bleeding, OK?”  Loki nodded, his head still in Thor’s warm hands. Thor didn’t know what had changed, but Loki didn’t talk as much, after their first encounter. He would speak when he needed to, but only enough to get the message across.  Thor found it increasingly frustrating. Not from a professional standpoint, but from a purely personal want to hear the paler man’s smooth voice. Thor grabbed the nasal spray from the counter, deciding to make it a new mission to hear Loki’s voice more often.  He sprayed twice in the affected nostril, then handed Loki a fresh tissue. “OK, hold pressure on that while I go get some stuff for the blood sample, OK?” Loki nodded. “Yeah? You’ll be OK?” Thor smiled as Loki huffed.

           “I’ll be fine,” the younger man confirmed.  Thor’s smile grew and Loki shook his head at him as Thor left to grab the rest of the supplies he needed.  He wanted to take a blood sample to check Loki’s platelet count. If it was too low, the nosebleed would likely be a result of Loki needing a different type of blood transfusion than the one he’d had last Saturday.  Based on Dr. Banner’s notes, he was hoping Loki’s condition would stabilize for about a month before he needed another transfusion. There hadn’t been any notes about a low platelet count previously, though, and it was possible that Loki had just gotten a nosebleed and some of the medication he was on was preventing a clot from forming.  Thor checked the time: 3:25 am. They would check if the spray worked in another ten minutes.

***

4 am and he’d finally eased Loki into the hospital bed, convincing him it would be better to sleep where treatment could be given the easiest.  After the second try, the nasal spray seemed to work, constricting the blood vessels enough to stop the bleeding. Thor was still glad he’d taken the blood sample, but he felt more confident that Loki’s nosebleed wasn’t related to the anemia.  But he wasn’t a doctor, and certainly wouldn’t jump to that conclusion. He made notes in Loki’s chart for Dr. Banner to review in the morning, also making a note about the possibility of upping the humidity in the rooms. If the air was too dry, it could be irritating to the nasal passages, after all.  Thor had propped the bed up slightly, to avoid any issues, should Loki’s nose start bleeding again, grabbed a pillow from the other bedroom that was identical to Loki’s own, and in ten minutes the younger man had fallen asleep, exhausted from the whole ordeal.

           Thor collapsed into a chair next to the bed, drained.  It sometimes took a lot out of him to be the calm inside the storm.  Knowing Loki felt reassured by his response, and taken care of, made it all worth it, though.  The younger man’s face looked so peaceful when he slept, like he was able to forget all his worries and just let go.  Thor waited maybe ten minutes, to rest and to make sure Loki didn’t wake. Before he left the room, he made sure the call button was close at hand for Loki, then he went back to the nurses’ station to see where he was needed next.

***

When his shift ended at 8 am, Loki was still sleeping.  Thor smiled at the thin trail of drool that escaped down his lip and decided to write Loki a quick note.  ‘You did well last night! I left the nasal spray in the bathroom, in case you need it again. Take it easy today.  :) Evelyn and Pam will be around and can help you make plans to have that pillow cleaned. I’ve already put it in a bag for easy transport and safety.  :) Take some advice from cookie monster today: “Today me will live in the moment, unless it’s unpleasant. In which case, me will eat a cookie.”’ He put the note on the bedside table and walked out with a big grin on his face.  In his 30’s and still quoting Sesame Street. What a philosopher he made.

 

***

 

That morning he and Steve had decided to meet at the gym Steve worked at to get a quick workout in before Steve’s 10:30 showed.  They’d both recently been really into boxing, so when he stepped through the door from the locker room, Thor wasn’t surprised to see Steve taping his hands up.  The blond threw a roll of tape at him as Thor chuckled.

          “You looking for another beating?” he teased, throwing his bag down and catching the roll Steve had thrown.  Steve stared over at him.

          “So that’s how it’s going to be, huh?” Steve smirked, throwing a roll of hand wrap at him.  Thor grinned, catching that as well.

          “I guess that’s how it’s going to be,” he winked.  He picked his bag back up and placed it next to the bench across from Steve.  He hadn’t been to this gym before, mainly because it was out of his way, but it was a nice setup.  He started wrapping his hands, having gotten the practice down long ago. Steve had just finished with his hands when Thor got the first one done.  “This is a nice place,” he commented. Steve looked up, smiling.

          “Yeah, Bucky actually found this place.  He’s been in Chicago a lot longer than I have with the Army Corps of Engineers.”

          “I didn’t know that,” Thor remarked, taping the wrap on his right hand.

          “Yeah, we’re both just a couple a Brooklyn boys, but Bucky loves working for A.C.E.  When I was thinking of quitting the Army, he convinced me to come out to Chicago, and if I hated it, I could join up again, or move back to Brooklyn.”  Steve shook his head. “Five years later, I’m still here.” Thor finished his left hand and looked up at Steve, happy that he’d found a good home for himself.

          “Do you miss Brooklyn?” he asked.  Thor had been a few times, but not many.  New York was very crowded for him. Steve smirked.

          “There’s a lot I miss about it.  But home is where your family is, and Buck is family.  I like Chicago a lot. It’s easy enough to find things that remind me of home, when I’m feeling homesick.  And Bucky’s an amazing cook. I can’t find better dim sum in the city. I don’t know how he does it.” The two of them worked the gloves over their hands.  “His matzo ball soup? Buddy, you gotta try it someday. Oh, and the kugel! My mouth is watering thinking about it.” They both stood to step into the ring.

          “These all sound amazing.  I’m not sure I’ve ever tried these foods before,” he admitted, going through a few warm up moves with Steve.  “I wish there were more Norwegian restaurants. I’m often missing my mother’s cooking. Lefse, fiskeboller, her amazing pickled herring.”  Steve gagged at that last one.

          “How can you eat that?” he asked, tapping Thor’s gloves with his own and starting to get into the meat of their workout.

          “You haven’t lived until you’ve eaten my mother’s pickled herring on a nice slice of rye bread,” Thor sighed, imagining eating some at that very moment.  “And lefse is amazing.”

          “I’ll take latkes any day,” Steve argued, getting a jab into Thor’s side.  He grunted and returned a few blows of his own. The rest of their workout was all a debate over food, or embarrassing grunting, and Thor was starving by the end of it all.  When he tapped out, they were both out of breath, and Steve had 15 minutes before his client arrived.

          “I hope I left you enough room for your client,” he worried.  Steve waved him off.

          “Army, remember?  I can be showered and dressed in five, if need be.”  Thor laughed as they walked into the locker room together.

          “A marine can do it in three,” he joked, as Steve pushed him into a locker.

***

It was Wednesday before Thor saw Loki again, and it put a smile on his face to see him.  He was lounging in a chair, looking out the window. “How are you today, Loki?” The dark haired man turned from his post to look at him.

           “Fine, thank you,” he mumbled, elegantly.

           “I’m here for a brief checkup and lunch.”  Thor held up the items he’d brought with. Loki would be quite familiar with them by now.  “Would you like to walk down to the cafeteria or do you want something brought here?” Thor pushed his cart over and turned on the temperature wand.  He needed to check temperature, heart rate, and blood pressure. Loki blushed as Thor waved the wand over his forehead.

           “Actually, my mother is coming with something,” he informed Thor.  “She’s worried about all this hospital food I’m eating. Says I look thinner.”  Loki chuckled, nervously, as Thor moved on to take his heart rate.

           “Are you worried about it?” Thor prodded, counting the beats.  It was one thing for a mother to say ‘you look too thin!’ It was quite another if Loki felt he were getting thinner.  Not enough food, not enough nutrients, something else wrong…too many potential factors. That was something to talk about with his doctor.  Loki picked at his shirt hem as Thor finished. He made notes in his chart then started to fit the blood pressure cuff on Loki’s arm.

           “No,” Loki hurried to answer.  “Maybe…” Thor pumped the cuff tight against Loki’s arm and placed the stethoscope just above the crook of his arm, listening intently.  When Thor was finished, Loki continued. “I don’t think I’m worried. The food here is just different than what I’m used to making myself.”  Loki tugged his shirt sleeve down. After a few moments, he frowned, then tugged two more times. Thor placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a smile.

           “Loki, we can work with all kinds of diets.  Has anyone discussed this with you?” Loki looked back out the window, now that Thor was done.

           “I didn’t want to be a bother.  The food is good.” Thor hummed.

           “I’m going to make a note for Jane to talk about this with you, OK?”  Loki was quiet, still looking outside. “Your nutrition is just as important to us as the care we can provide here,” he stressed.  Loki nodded at that.

           “Thank you,” he said, after a few moments.  Thor sighed, internally, glad Loki was willing to discuss his needs.

           “Did you get help with the pillow?” he asked.  Loki took a long breath, then let it out.

           “Yes.  My mother dropped by and had it cleaned, actually.  She’s bringing it back today.” The younger man actually gave a small smile thinking about it.  Thor smiled in return.

           “I’m glad it was salvageable!”  He packed up the items he’d used and addressed Loki once more.  “You know you’re free to walk around in the garden area, if you’d like,” he offered.  “Even if you’re feeling too tired to walk, we can get a wheelchair and walk around outside with you.”  Loki got up from the chair, then, looking like he’d just been called out on doing something wrong.

           “I’m OK,” the younger man laughed, wringing his hands together and walking over towards his studio.  Thor heard two more, very faint, “I’m OK”s, as Loki opened the door, each time touching the doorknob as he whispered the words.  Thor frowned to himself, deciding to keep watching for signs that Loki’s OCD was getting worse, as the doctors might need to consider upping his dosage again.  He couldn’t imagine the amount of stress Loki was under right now. New place, life-threatening disease, a procedure that wasn’t a sure thing, no option to change your mind once the process was started.  It was a lot for one person to handle. Thor rolled his cart over to the painting studio. The canvas Thor had seen him working on two weeks ago was sitting, finished, in a corner. It had a sheet of paper pinned above it with ‘NFS’ on it, along with someone else’s handwriting saying ‘Boo.  :( ’ There was one other completed canvas in a separate corner. It had a brilliant gold tone smeared all over the canvas, looking like it was bursting out from the center. The middle was looked like a rotting heart, sitting on a pillow, dripping blood onto the bottom of the canvas. It was interesting that he used only his hands to make these.  He watched Loki setting up a third canvas and knocked on the door to get his attention. Loki turned around to look at him.

           “I’ll have Jane come in when you’re finished with lunch, to talk about options, OK?” he confirmed, watching Loki tighten one of the clamps.

           “Yeah, that’s fine.”  Loki turned back to the canvas and bent over to work on a lower clamp, just before he had turned away.  Thor’s mouth dropped open as he stared at Loki’s backside. He hadn’t just bent down to fiddle with the clamp, he’d simply bent at the waist to work with it.  The pants Loki had on left little to the imagination when he was bent at that angle, and Thor was imagining a whole scenario in his mind. Those pants around Loki’s ankles, him moaning as Thor pushed in roughly from behind.  A few moments had passed and Loki had straightened up at this point. Thor blinked a few times, trying to reboot his brain. When Loki turned around, he looked almost surprised to still see him there. “Did you need anything else?”  Loki wetted his lips before chewing on his bottom lip. Thor stared for a few moments longer, trying to decide if Loki knew exactly what he was doing or if he was genuinely surprised to find Thor still in the doorway.

           “Huh uh,” Thor replied, like an idiot.  He shut his mouth quickly. _‘Nice going, dummy,’_ he berated himself.  Thor turned, finally, and adjusted his scrubs discreetly, before grabbing his cart.  “Have a good lunch,” he called, swiftly shuffling out of the room. Thor parked the cart back in the supply closet, then leaned against the wall inside to calm himself down.  Loki’s file was clutched to his chest as he took a deep breath in. What was he doing? He exhaled. The man was a siren! He called to Thor in ways he wasn’t aware of until the ship was already sinking.  Thor placed a hand over his eyes, waiting for his cock to return to its unaffected state. He was here to help people, to take care of patients who needed it. When he could no longer be professional about it was the time to remove himself from the situation.  Thor took one more calming breath. He’d send Sif a message on his break, because he’d been wrong. There was no fucking way he could deal with this on his own.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look! It's a new chapter!! :D :D :D Things get a little more real. :P If you haven't by now, you should definitely check out the amazing art that goes with this fic!! [Kamthe](https://ktspree13.tumblr.com/post/180062034266/kamthe-hi-everyone-im-here-with-my-second) did a fantastic job! :D
> 
> Once again, thank you so much to my incredible beta [Tatiana](https://tjc2009-2018.tumblr.com/). Could not have done this without you!! <3

Thor had been assigned the emergency ward most of this week, and it had been a while since he’d worked in this particular ward.  His position was multi-functional, just like many other nurses, and he rotated around a lot of different departments in the hospital.  Emergency was always fast paced. People were always waiting, and it seemed like there was always at least one person who’d been stabbed.  When he’d first started with the hospital, he was assigned to Emergency probably once a week. Thor had just moved to the city, and had thrown himself into work.  Back then, it hadn’t been too much of an issue. He didn’t have much else to do, until he met Fandral and Steve. As things went along, though, he found himself less and less in the emergency ward.  He’d never asked about it, but he’d always worried it was because he hadn’t done a very good job there. 

Out of every department, Emergency reminded him most of his time in the Corps.  The constant rush, all the people, sometimes blood everywhere. Eight months into his job at Hope and he hadn’t realized just how little he came here, now.  He was mostly a floater, when they needed an extra pair of hands, or the occasional backup. Jane had approached him last week to ask about it.

***

           “Thor!” Jane called to him, just as he was leaving for his weekend.  He turned around to greet her.

“Hey Jane,” he smiled.  “What’s up?” She jogged up to him holding what he knew to be her scheduling clipboard.

“I’m so sorry to do this to you, but do you mind working Emergency next week?” she asked him.  “One of the regulars we post there asked for some time off, and I completely forgot to fill it,” she sighed.

           “Of course!”  Thor took his phone out to make a note about it.  “Do the hours change at all?” he asked, pulling up his calendar.

           “Only a few of them,” she smiled, seeming grateful for Thor’s flexibility.  She showed him the changes and he marked them down so he wouldn’t forget. Jane placed a hand over her heart.  “You are a lifesaver! I think I asked three people before making it to you, and they all turned me down.” Thor grinned.

           “Alright, next week Emergency!” he pumped his fists in the air to show he was looking forward to it.  “Actually, I’d wondered why I wasn’t working in that ward anymore,” he mentioned, putting his phone away.  “I thought maybe I wasn’t doing a good job.” Jane gave him a funny look.

           “That’s cute.”  She said it like Thor should have known exactly why he wasn’t assigned to the emergency ward anymore.  He felt even more confused. When he hadn’t said anything, Jane seemed to recover and looked at him apologetically.  “No, no. You did a great job there. Not worried about your performance at all,” she assured him. “Really, Thor, you’re one of my best nurses here.”  Thor frowned, but nodded back at her. It had been a weird exchange and he didn’t know what to make of it.

           “Alright, I’ll see you Tuesday, then,” he replied.  She waved as Thor left.

***

It was now three days into his shift with the emergency ward, and he was ready to tap out.  Yesterday, a kid had come in with a severe allergic reaction, a food the parents hadn’t been aware he was allergic to.  It was a young boy, and he’d almost died. By the time the parents had gotten there, he’d been convulsing and unable to breathe.  Another minute or two, and it could have gone a different way. Sure, there were plenty of banal cases that came through, people who were sick, people who just needed a checkup, or to be seen for something and their regular clinic was closed, but there was never a dull moment when he worked this ward, and the heavy cases weighed on him.

           He was in the restroom splashing some water on his face when he heard the page.  ‘Bad accident on one of the expressways. Report to nursing station ASAP.’ Thor dried his hands and face and took a deep breath, trying to steel himself for the onslaught.  He rushed out to the nurses’ station in the emergency ward.

           “What do we have going on?” he asked Peggy.  She’d been assigned to Emergency today, as well, and had been the one to send out the page.  Peggy shook her head.

           “Massive accident.”  She waited as a few more of the staff gathered around the table.  “50 car pileup on the expressway, 23 injuries, 7 critical. We’ll have to move quickly on this one.  Critical will go in right away. Thor, Christine wants you assisting her in there. Marcy, you’ll also be in with Drew.  Everyone else, just go where you’re needed. They all nodded, and as the ambulances started arriving, a strange feeling settled in his gut.  Christine was waiting for the EMT's, Thor standing next to her. The EMT’s started wheeling people in, the smell of blood heavy in the air. Thor listened to a bunch of kids crying.  They were standing with what he assumed to be their mother, all of them with cuts and bruises on them. She looked like she was in shock. It reminded Thor of one of the worst days he’d had as a military nurse.  Bad IED set off in a residential area that was being patrolled. No one knew the origin of the blast, nor the motivation behind it, but it had caused a lot of damage. A few apartment buildings had caved in, and soldiers were dragging Iraqi citizens and American soldiers alike into the field hospital.  Families followed their loved ones, hoping there was help available.

           One of the gurneys rolled over a metal strip on the ground, jolting Thor out of the memory.  He hadn’t thought of that day in a long time.

           “Thor!” Christine called to him.  He spun around and jogged after her.  There was a man on the stretcher with a piece of metal sticking out of his thigh.  It looked like part of the hood of a car, but he couldn’t be sure. His mind was in a daze as he stared at all the blood.  When he followed the line of people towards the O.R., the sense of being somewhere else just kept getting stronger. Good soldiers in his unit, friends, some had lost a limb to the explosion, and needed help to keep from bleeding out.  Innocent civilians were in the tent, too. People who meant something to someone, hurt and needing attention.

           Thor leaned up against a wall in the hallway and closed his eyes.  The sound of planes flying overhead flooded his senses, along with the sticky heat of summer in Iraq.  He took a deep breath in, trying to refocus on where he was at. The sounds of confused patients and the screams of the ones in the most pain just kept putting him right back to that day.  He covered his ears and kept taking some deep breaths. He repeated his Chicago address to himself until he no longer felt confused. Christine came out looking for him.

           “Are you coming or not?” she sighed, throwing her hands up.  Thor pushed off the wall and jogged over to her.

           “Yes.  I’m here.  I’m good.” She stared at him for a few moments, like she almost didn’t believe it, then shrugged her shoulders and walked into the room with him to scrub up.

***

It had been two hours.  Two hours of bloodied rags and carefully removing metal.  Two hours of sopping up blood as Christine worked to re-attach ligaments and tendons to their proper place in the man’s leg, so he’d be able to fully recover the use of it.  By the end of the day, no one had died, but many of the injured had been admitted into the hospital. When he was finished with Christine, the other six critical patients had already been seen to, luckily.  He ran around helping with everyone else he could, after that. It had been a long, long day.

           Thor walked through the threshold of his apartment and dropped his things on the floor, making a loud thud that echoed out into the hallway.  He kicked at the door, to close it, as he continued on to his bedroom. Now he was home, Thor took his hair down from the bun it had been in and shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs from his mind.  He’d changed out of the bloody scrubs at work, so at least he didn’t have to see that right now. Thor shucked off his jeans and grabbed a pair of grey sweat pants from his drawer. Next was the dark red v-neck he’d been wearing.  He grabbed a cozy green sweater from his closet, one that was a size or two too big, but was comforting in ways he didn’t think was possible for a piece of fabric, and pulled both items on. The sleeves on the sweater went past his hands, and Thor wrapped his arms around himself.

           He heard someone walking through his apartment, then, and Thor’s first instinct was to grab for a tactical knife and see what was going on.  When he got the knife from his bedside table, he spun around to see Fandral standing in the doorway to his bedroom looking nervous.

“Hey,” the slighter blond greeted him, staring nervously at the knife.  They stood there for a few moments before Thor dropped it back into the drawer, and turned his gaze away.  Fandral stayed silent, not knowing what to say as Thor took a few deep breaths to calm the adrenaline that had suddenly spiked in him.  He ran his hands through his hair a few times, scratching along his scalp. When he was a little more under control, he looked over at Fandral again and gave him a watery look.  “Your door was left open,” Fandral mentioned, pointing a thumb back towards the entrance to his apartment. “You ok? You don’t look so good.” Thor grunted, wrapping his arms around himself again.  Fandral walked up to him slowly until he stood in front of Thor. When there was no protest, he placed a hand on Thor’s arm and smiled. “I’m here for you, OK? You can talk to me, if it’ll help.”

Thor grimaced, but pulled Fandral in for a hug.  If he was surprised, the slighter man didn’t say anything about it.  “Hard day at work,” he sniffled. Fandral ran his hands over Thor’s back.

“This is terrible news, my friend,” he murmured.  They stood there for a good five minutes while Thor cried and tried making sense of his confused thoughts.  Eventually, Fandral coaxed him into getting under the covers and taking a nap, murmuring softly that he was going to make dinner for them all; He even called Sif over, as backup.  Thor slept for an hour or two, maybe, before the three of them sat down to eat. It was a spectacular family recipe of Fandral’s that had an incredible story attached to it. The dish was smuggled out of the ‘old country’ and made specifically to ease the minds of whomever gathered at the table.  After Thor’s own three helpings were devoured, they watched something lighthearted for a few hours. He fell asleep curled up between his two friends.

***

It had been a few months, now, since the ogling and emergency room incident.  True to form, Sif had helped him come up with some strategies for himself for both his professional career and his own mental health.  He’d also taken a little time off to go visit his parents back in Virginia. When he’d returned, he came back with a whole new determination to keep his interactions with Loki professional, whether the younger man appreciated the effort or not.  For the past three days, however, Thor had watched Loki do the same thing every time he’d looked like he’d wanted to leave the room. He would go into the bathroom to wash his hands and whisper something Thor couldn’t hear. Then he’d walk around to the various rooms and check on them, whispering “clean room, clear mind” as he did his rounds.  Next, he’d stand in the middle of the main room and look around at everything telling himself “everything’s ready because everything’s in its place.” And he’d say it again, and again, and he’d look at the door, and whisper it one more time. And then he’d stand there for a minute before he’d shake his head and start the process over again. Usually, by the time he’d gone through everything for a fourth time he’d either made it out, or he’d given up.

It was the giving up that prompted Thor to talk about it with Pam and Evelyn.  They were also concerned with his behaviors, and they all made their own notes for Dr. Banner to consider.  When he’d received the file on his desk, Dr. Banner had read through everyone’s assessments and called in Loki’s psychiatrist, Dr. Eir Laeknishond, to discuss things together.  Later that day, there were more discussions between the psychiatrist and all the nurses on Loki’s transplant team, mentioning observations, and getting direction from the therapist on how to proceed with their jobs. 

The main message was: the meds were in a good place, but Loki needed to figure out some kind of self-care for himself and learn to manage his stress levels.  If he couldn’t learn to tame his thoughts, redirect them in a healthy way, it wouldn’t matter how much they upped his dosage. He’d keep having the episodes, and he’d keep getting anxious about everything that was going on.  He had an upcoming session with her, in which she would discuss some additional tactics with Loki, but the message was clear. Loki needed to open up about what was going on and communicate what he needed. Which, by the psychiatrist’s exasperated expression, it seemed he had been doing, prior to now.  When everyone else had cleared the room, Thor stayed behind to ask Eir a few questions. He wanted to know if fresh air was helpful and if having something tactile to occupy Loki’s hands could be beneficial. She simply told him every person was different, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.

***

That night, when he was having dinner with Fandral, Thor asked him if he had any suggestions for a clay like material that a patient could use to occupy his hands.  Like a stress ball, but a little more satisfying. Something an artist would enjoy, but wouldn’t get dried out or make the person’s hands feel weird. Fandral smiled.  He didn’t know it was for Loki, but Thor could tell he was making that assumption.

“I have just the thing,” he mentioned, getting up to go to the little studio space he had in his apartment.  It wasn’t his full studio, but ‘when the mood strikes,’ he had a small space in his apartment to putter around in.  When he returned, he had a ball of green sand-looking material sitting in a plastic Ziploc bag. “This should do nicely.”  Fandral handed the bag to Thor, and he proceeded to open it up to check it out. It actually had more of a dough-like consistency, but it was stiff.  Easily malleable, but able to hold a shape. “It’s called Mad Mattr. They market it towards kids, but I find it works well to plan out my next project.”  Thor put it back in the bag.

“This is great, Fandral.  Thank you!” Thor smiled at him as Fandral sat back down.

“Anytime.  I’m very happy to help.  Especially one artist to another,” he grinned.  Thor laughed. He didn’t know if Fandral knew just how terrible he was, but if he had to guess, the man knew exactly how bad his creations turned out and loved tormenting people with them. 

“The patient is having a hard time getting out of their own head, so I thought occupying it with something like this might help.”  Thor closed the Ziploc and started back in on the meal in front of him. “What are you up to this weekend?” he asked. Fandral swallowed his bite of eggplant parmigiana.

“I decided to lead a kayak tour on Saturday afternoon, along the Chicago River.  You want to come?” Fandral took a swig of his beer. “I have a mini megaphone attached to my kayak and everything.”  Thor smirked.

“It actually sounds like fun.  I get off at 1 pm. When are you starting?”  Thor took a big bite of his own dish.

“For you, I’ll start at 3.”  Fandral wagged his eyebrows at him as Thor snorted.

“Alright, sounds good to me,” he agreed, happily.

***

It had been a bad day for Loki, all-around.  He’d been struggling all morning to get himself out of bed, and had an appointment with Eir to get to.  It had taken Evelyn calling Thor in to help convince Loki into a wheelchair that got the younger man to Eir’s door, relatively on time.  Thor rounded the main desk after finishing up with another patient and Evelyn was there.

“Oh, honey,” she frowned, looking up at Thor.  “He’s so dizzy today, it’s just breaking my heart.  As soon as I wheeled him back, he went straight to bed.  Luckily, he’s in one of our beds, in case something happens.”  Thor put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder.

“You’re doing a great job, Evelyn,” he said gently.

“I know, honey.”  She waved Thor’s hand off and moved to straighten a few files she’d been working on before sticking them in the stack for billing.  “He’s just so young,” she whispered, just as Thor was heading off to another patient’s room. He walked back with a smile on his face and gave her cheek a kiss.

“He’s a fighter, Evelyn.  In this case, young is good!  The older ones have less treatment options.” 

“Punk,” she smirked, moving to mess with his hair.  Thor dodged, jogging off to his next case

“Bye, Evelyn!” he laughed.

***

Thor had talked over his plan with Evelyn and Pam that morning and they’d both agreed that trying to get Loki outside more often, or engaged in other activities would be a good plan and all three had brainstormed things to get “Operation Sunshine Salvation” off the ground.  With that in mind, Thor hoped to take Loki out into their garden area today. The weather could not be nicer right now. It was a breezy June day. The sun was out, and it wasn’t too hot. Thor was excited about laying out on the roof of his apartment building after work today.  Fandral had offered to grill some stuff for dinner, and he couldn’t wait to just kick back and relax. As excited as he was about tonight, he was even more excited to show off the souped up wheelchair he’d finished with. Thinking Loki might need the extra support, Thor had grabbed one of the tall wheelchairs that cradled the head of whoever was in it.  He’d gotten some nice, fluffy pillows, and a blanket, and surrounded the wheelchair with the cozy items. He planned to have the perfect throne for Loki to rest against while they were outside. Pam whistled as he moved the wheelchair past the main desk.

“You really went all-out,” she joked, winking at Thor.  He laughed.

“Just want to make it as comfortable as possible,” he explained away.  “I know it’s been a rough day, so I’m hoping being outside will help.” Thor had already tucked the bag of Mad Mattr in a pocket on the wheelchair.  “It’s not too ridiculous?” he asked, feeling a little silly, suddenly. Pam’s expression softened.

“It’s great, Thor.  Your youthful exuberance is just endearing, that’s all,” she winked.  Thor rolled his eyes at her, but smiled back.

“Alright, thanks.  Wish me luck!”

“Luck!” she called as Thor rolled on towards Loki’s room.  When he reached the door, Thor gave a quick knock before rolling his surprise inside.  Loki was laying on the bed, looking out towards the garden, as per usual.

“Hey!” Thor called, cheerfully.  Loki rubbed at his eyes and turned his head slowly to look at Thor.  “I’ve got a surprise,” he smiled, parking the wheelchair next to the bed and showing it off like one of those women on the game shows that revealed the prizes.  Loki chuckled and pulled himself up in the bed.

“I’m not sure it’s the best day,” he rasped, clearing his throat.

“Nonsense,” Thor winked.  “The weather today could not be better.”  He moved around the chair so he could carry Loki from the bed to the wheelchair.

“Wh-what are you doing?”  Loki put his hands out as Thor made to put an arm under his legs.

“Just trust me,” Thor pulled his arms back and straightened.  “OK?” he asked, before attempting anything else. Loki crossed his arms and fixed Thor with a frustrated glare, but eventually nodded.  With his permission, Thor put an arm underneath Loki’s legs and another around his back, lifting him easily.

“I feel ridiculous,” Loki complained as Thor placed him in the wheelchair.  When he stepped back, the paler man looked a little flushed.

“Is it comfortable enough?” Thor asked.  

           Loki chewed on his lip, looking over to the bathroom.  “I should clean up a little,” he started to fret. 

           Thor gave him a determined look, turning the chair in the direction of the door.  “You look great.” He pulled a small bottle of hand sanitizer from one of the wheelchair pockets.  “Would you like some for your hands?” he asked, holding the bottle open for Loki. The younger man nodded and held out his hands.  Thor placed a small glob in them, wheeling towards the door.

“Wait…wait…”  Loki rubbed his hands with the hand sanitizer as Thor slowed down.  “I don’t know if the room’s cleaned up.” Thor’s heart broke a little.  Loki worried about this every time he wanted to leave? He placed a hand on the younger man’s shoulder.

“The room looks exactly as it should,” he asserted, watching Loki calm to his sure tone.  He pulled out the last item he’d brought for Loki. “I got this for you, thinking it might help with the OCD.”  Thor handed him the plastic Ziploc bag full of the moldable clay. He stopped just at the threshold as Loki quickly opened the bag to see what it was.  When he’d tucked the bag in a pocket and squished his fingers in the clay a few times, he actually gave Thor a hearty laugh. Thor strolled straight through the doorway and out into the hallway, feeling a happiness that he hadn’t known in a long time.

“Where ever did you find this?” Loki smiled up at Thor as he pushed the wheelchair down the hall and towards their destination.  He beamed down at him.

“An artist friend of mine gave it to me.”  He watched Loki push the little ball of clay between his hands and fingers, molding and unmolding the green substance however he wished.

“What’s their name?” Loki asked.  Thor cleared his throat. He’d only seen a few things Fandral had made, but he wasn’t sure they could be classified as “art.”

“Fandral Dashing.”  Loki snorted, placing a hand over his mouth.

“I’m sorry,” he cleared his throat.  “I’m sorry…” Loki’s face looked pained before he burst out laughing.  Thor couldn’t help it any longer and broke into a wide smile, eventually laughing right along with Loki.  “He’s the most incredible person, but I’m not sure I’ve seen a worse sculptor,” he laughed. Loki looked like he was melting back into the chair, appearing more at ease than Thor had ever seen him.  Loki sighed, wistfully. “He has the most incredible knowledge about art, though, and keeps up-to-date with all us local artists.” The pale man had a fond smile on his face. “He was at my first show.”  Thor was glad Loki knew his friend, however brief their acquaintance.

“How was it?” Thor asked, as they neared the exit to the garden area outside.

“Stressful…  And Darcy, my agent, was ridiculous.”  Loki rolled his eyes. “She was all over Fandral, telling me we’d hooked a ‘whale.’  I was so embarrassed.” He kept playing with the clay. “But other than that, it was a good show.  I had a lot of support, and my parents gushed about it to just about everyone they knew…” Loki shook his head.  Thor chuckled.

“Parents are like that,” he agreed.  “When I passed my nursing exams, my parents printed it in our town’s little newspaper.”  Loki laughed again, and Thor just couldn’t get enough of how beautiful it sounded. He seemed so carefree, and Thor was glad he’d decided to go ahead with his plan.

“To be fair,” Loki teased him, “my parents did the same thing, but that was just good publicity.”  He looked up at Thor again and gave him a slightly feral grin. Thor smiled back and wheeled them to the automatic doors to the garden.

“I promise, the weather is perfect.”  Loki hummed as they made it through the double doors, the clay squishing back and forth, taking the brunt of his nerves.  When the sun fell on them, Loki’s eyes closed and he took a deep inhale. He let it out slowly before breathing in again.

“Thank you.”  Loki’s face broke out into the most beautiful smile.  The breeze was catching his long hair and throwing it about as his face was tilted up towards the sun.  He spread his arms out, fully embracing the nice June weather. “It’s been too long since I came outside.”  He crashed back onto the back of the wheelchair, steadying himself on its arms.

“Dizzy spell?” Thor asked, moving them slowly down the path outside, ready to steady Loki if he needed to.

“Yeah,” he mumbled.

“We’ll go slow,” Thor smiled, wheeling them towards a bench so he could sit next to Loki.  He also adjusted the back of the wheelchair so it laid back a little further. “It should also help if I recline this a little more.”  Loki hummed again.

“That is better,” he confirmed, drawing his arms to rest against his stomach.  When Thor had ‘parked’ the wheelchair and sat next to Loki on the bench, he watched as the green clay started forming into something akin to Gumby.  He watched Loki’s long, slender fingers work the clay into the shape he wanted, noticing how he worked with his eyes closed.

“Does it work better with your eyes closed, or is it easier with the dizziness?” Thor asked.  Loki blinked his eyes open to look at Thor, seeming to have almost forgotten he was there.

“Ah, it’s better for the dizziness.  But, it’s also helpful to picture it in my head and form what I see by touch.  It’s an interesting exercise. Here…” Loki took one of Thor’s hands and placed the near-finished figure in it.  “Close your eyes, imagine something you want to form in the clay, and move your fingers to match what you see in your mind.”  Thor thought of something easy, and one of his favorite animals: a snake. He smiled, rolling the clay in his hands to form it into a rope, then worked to add a little detail to the tail and the head.  He coiled it up, rested the head on the little body, and tried sticking the tail up. When he opened his eyes, it looked ridiculous. He laughed.

“I think my sculpting skills are worse than Fandral’s,” he joked.  Loki smiled, taking the little snake figure from his hands.

“I think you’ve got promise,” he replied.  “You were going for a snake, right?” Thor nodded at him, and Loki worked at what he’d done a little.  “I mean, it’s not actually clay, so it’s harder to form into anything very detailed, but you just needed to tweak it a little.”  Loki held out his hand to reveal a much more polished looking snake.

“Hey!  That’s really good,” he marveled.  Loki smiled, blushing at Thor’s words.

“Thanks,” he replied.  Loki closed his eyes again.  “This is really comfortable. Thank you.”  Loki’s words turned his bones to jelly and Thor leaned back against the bench.

“Of course!”  He played with his hands a bit, a habit he’d picked up from his mother.  “Thank you for trusting me.”

Ten minutes later, Loki was asleep in the chair, his head curled up on one of the pillows Thor had worked hard to strap to the top of the wheelchair.  It was peaceful outside, like they’d entered their own little world for a little while, like a cocoon. Thor found a blue morning glory nearby and plucked it, thinking about the contrast it would give to Loki’s silky black hair.  He pushed some of the younger man’s locks behind his ear and tucked the flower between the strands. Thor smiled at his handiwork. Loki would wake to a nice little surprise, he hoped. He sat for ten more minutes before reluctantly bringing Loki back to his room.  When he waved to his colleagues, they couldn’t help but notice both men had smiles on their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter done with. :) If you have some time, let me know what you think!! :D I'll be out of town the next many days, so my posts might not be as regular as they have been. But I'll get them up, once a day. I promise!! <3 :) Thank you so much for all your kudos and comments and views. It makes me happy to know so many of you are enjoying this fic!!
> 
>  
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ktspree13) I post stuff about things, and love chatting with people. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say...I love Darcy. :) ;) I hope you all enjoy this chapter!! :D
> 
>  
> 
> Kamthe's art [here!](http://kamthe.tumblr.com/post/180061901601/hi-everyone-im-here-with-my-second-thorki)

In the following weeks, Pam and Evelyn had taken walks with Loki, when he’d been up to it, and had tried out their own methods to help the younger man get out of the grip of his OCD.  It seemed their combined efforts were helping. The day after their time outside, Thor had noticed a new item on the table next to the hospital bed. Loki had fashioned a cute little bud vase to hold the flower he’d stuck in his hair.  Two days after that, he’d been gifted with an amazing little clay snake that resembled what the two of them had crafted outside. He adored it and had brought the snake back to his apartment to rest on the table next to his bed, so it was the first thing he saw in the morning.  Loki had even had a few more visits from his mother and his agent, Darcy.

Thor wheeled his cart into Loki’s room for another check-in.  Heart Rate, BP, temp. Loki was perched delicately on a short stool in the studio space, Darcy speaking to him about one painting or another.  He came to the door and knocked, both dark-haired occupants turning to look at him.

“Hey, stud!” Darcy crooned at him.  “I am digging those braids you got going on there.”  Thor laughed. Today he’d spent most of his morning in the children’s ward, and let them all braid his hair.  Right now, he was covered in braids of different styles. Some of them tightly woven, others loose. Some had been strung together while others had already started falling out.  He’d considered cutting his hair many times in the past, but every time he was in with the children, he always changed his mind.

“Yeah, my morning was spent with the kids, and I don’t know what it is about my hair, but they always ask to braid it.”  He smiled as a placed a hand on the back of his neck. Loki started to get up, but Darcy waved him back down.

“Honey, just let the fella in.  I need his opinion anyways,” Darcy chided.

“I don’t want to intrude,” Thor stated.  He knew the studio was a bit of a sacred space for Loki.  His eyes caught on the movement of Loki’s hands, noticing that he was playing with the green Mad Mattr he’d given him.  It made him happy to know it helped. He watched the pale man debate back and forth with himself before a look of resignation crossed his face.

“Please, it’s not an issue.”  Loki’s velvety voice beckoned Thor to join them inside.  “Please come in,” he invited, for the first time. Thor beamed at him, pushing the cart inside to rest right next to Loki.

“I promise, it’ll only take a moment,” he winked.  Loki’s face flushed the closer Thor stood to him, and he noticed Darcy’s eyes on the two of them.  “What did you need my opinion on?” he asked her, moving the attention away from Loki as he prepared the temperature reader.

“Ugh!” Darcy threw her hands up and turned to the paintings stacked against one of the walls.  “Just look at these beauties,” she directed at him. “Loki, sweetie, your hospital period is seriously some of your most compelling work.  Every time you make a new one, I have a buyer on the line.” Thor waved the wand over Loki’s forehead, writing his temperature down in his chart.  It was a little elevated, but nothing serious. “OK, OK…maybe that’s a little bit of an exaggeration. I definitely have buyers. But not for every painting you’ve got here.  We’ve sold maybe…three of these, and they’re not even finished yet. Thor was impressed. If you were selling things before they were finished, you had to be doing something right.  Minus the quick peek he’d gotten a few months ago, Thor hadn’t seen Loki’s other work. He hadn’t even looked to see if there was a website for his art. It felt private, like he needed permission to Google him.  Which was a silly thought all on its own.

“They’re getting close,” Loki defended himself, trying to keep still as Thor started checking his heart rate.  He smiled, listening to the two bicker back and forth.

“Anyway, Thor, hunk-a-hunk-a-burnin-love, I want to hang a few of these in the studio.  Drum up a little more interest. Which do you like? Ideally, I’d get three of them that coordinate.  Loki has his own opinion, and I have mine, but we need the everyday-man’s perspective.” Thor wrote down Loki’s heart rate before looking up.  Darcy had nicknames for everyone, and she kept coming up with the most ridiculous things when he was in the room.

“Can you line them up?  I mean…I don’t know how good my opinion is, but I might have a better idea if they’re all lined up.”  Loki had seven canvases going, it looked like. He didn’t know how many were finished, but there certainly were plenty to choose from.  Thor started to put the blood pressure cuff on Loki’s arm, momentarily distracting Loki from watching Darcy. When the younger man turned back to look at her, his arm shot out.

“Don’t you dare!” he growled, shaking his hand at her.  Darcy had wandered over to the NFS painting, and Loki was getting testy about it.

“Not even to just display?” she argued.  Loki’s expression was stormy as he glared at her.

“I will allow you to line it up with the rest, and if it really is the best option, I will consider it.  But you don’t even know what most of these will look like, at the moment, so I don’t see how you can make any kind of call right now,” he bristled.  Thor placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder, smiling when he looked up up him.

“I’m going to wait until we’re done discussing to take your blood pressure, OK?” he asked.  Loki’s face turned a bright red, and Thor found his embarrassment very endearing. He was hard pressed not to kiss him right then.  He quickly averted his eyes over to Darcy. She was lining up the last two paintings and Thor’s heart caught in his throat. 

Every painting seemed to glow with agony or hardship.  Some had a particular madness about them, like he was staring directly into Loki’s brain as he fought against the illnesses within.  They were intense and beautiful; horrible...but they filled him with awe. In the midst of everything going on, there seemed to be an ominous, ethereal quality in the background that Thor didn’t want to interpret too deeply.  When he felt like he might overflow, Thor turned around to fiddle with his cart. He made a whole show of looking for something on the bottom shelf while he wiped his eyes. When he’d located a bottle of water, he straightened up again and turned around.  Loki’s sharp, green eyes told him he’d missed nothing, and his face held a true sincerity as he smiled at Thor, softly. Thor cleared his throat.

“Your temp was a little elevated,” he smiled, tight lipped, as his lower lip wobbled a bit.  He handed the bottle of water over to Loki. “Just make sure to keep hydrated and you should be OK.”  Loki placed a hand over Thor’s, gripping the bottle in the other.

“Thank you,” Loki replied, looking straight into Thor’s eyes.  He cleared his throat again and brought his hands away, as Loki took the bottle of water from him.  When he looked over to the paintings again, he saw Darcy had turned away from them to focus on how the paintings looked all lined up.

“So, which three would you put up?” she asked, turning around to look at the two of them. 

“What happened to the heart painting?” Thor asked, before he could stop himself.  It was one of the few he’d seen, and it was strange to see it missing.

“Oh, you’re sweet,” Darcy winked.  “That sold a while ago. And it was actually finished to his majesty’s liking, so off it went to its new home.”  Darcy placed her hand over her heart, like it was some great love story she was telling. Thor smiled at her, feeling at ease again.

“OK, OK.  Let me take a better look.”  He looked over at the assembled paintings and realized the one that he’d seen before was very different from most of the ones in front of him now.  The majority of Loki’s paintings were something Thor lovingly referred to as “crazy contemporary.” He could feel Loki watching him as he looked over his work, and wondered if the painter would be upset over his choices.  Thor chewed his lip and finally made his choices.

“I like these three,” he conceded, pointing to the second painting in the lineup, the fifth, and eighth one.  Loki smiled, seeming pleased with Thor’s choices. Darcy hemmed and hawed, but eventually pulled out the fifth painting from the bunch.

“Well, I think we’re all agreed on this one,” she grumbled.  “Loki, it’s your choice on the rest, obviously. But, you have some extra input, now.”  Loki rolled his eyes as he smiled at her.

“Thank you, your eminence.” He swept his arms out as he bowed at the waist, mocking her.

“Whatever, bitch.  Just make sure the ones you want are done this month.”  She strolled over to Loki. “I gotta jet, but I’ll be back next week, yeah?  And you call me whenever you want to talk. I don’t mind swinging by whenever.”  Loki looked away quickly before punching Darcy’s arm playfully.

“Yeah yeah, I got it,” he mumbled, as Darcy drew him in for a crushing hug.  Loki patted her back, looking like he was embarrassed for Thor to be seeing him like this, so Thor made himself busy with straightening the items on his cart.  “Alright,” he cooed, trying to disentangle himself from Darcy’s embrace. “Alright, Thor needs to do his job, and you need to get to yours, OK?” Darcy let him go, but fixed him with a hard stare.

“You take care of yourself, you hear?” she reprimanded him.  “I don’t want to go so long without getting to see you again.”  Loki lifted his hands in a surrendering gesture.

“I will do my best,” he sighed.  Thor could tell there was an underlying meaning to his words, but neither of them said anything else and Darcy headed for the door.

“Catch you later, honey bunches of oats,” she winked, blowing Thor a kiss.  He laughed and waved back at her.

“Have a good week, Darcy!” Thor replied.  He turned back to Loki and set up the blood pressure cuff again, the stethoscope hanging around his neck.

“Thank you for your opinion,” Loki murmured, playing with the hem of his shirt.

“Of course!”  Thor pumped the bulb attached to the cuff.  “They’re all amazing.” Loki hummed as Thor watched the pressure gauge on the cuff.  When it was up at the proper level, he put the stethoscope on and listened, eventually deflating the cuff and writing the number down. He was putting the equipment away when he decided to ask.  “You seemed to like the ones I picked. Was there an inside joke between you two that I didn’t catch?” Loki looked over at him, surprised.

“No,” he replied.  “You just picked out the ones that were the most hopeful.”  Loki smiled fondly, staring at the floor. “I always enjoy learning which of my paintings appeal to people.  Sometimes, I meet people in a tough spot who can’t stop looking at the whirling dervish of crazy that I slapped onto the canvas.  I’ve met a few people with OCD who’ve looked at my paintings and said it was like watching their day exploding around them. The ones who find my hopeful paintings are always the most generous souls who have seen too much bad in the world, but have come out happy on the other side, somehow.  I don’t know how they do it, but I’m always grateful to get to know them. It gives me hope, I guess.” Thor didn’t know what to say. It was too much to respond to. He couldn’t. Not when he was trying to remain professional. When he finished putting things away, he turned around to look at Loki again.

“So, what do you have planned for the rest of the day?” he asked, avoiding the sweet sentiments of the painter altogether.  Loki chuckled.

“I’ll probably work on these for a little while, since I’m in here and all…  But I planned to do a little reading later on, and I heard there’s a movie night that runs on the psych ward…and Eir encouraged me to go…socialize…”  Loki pouted at that last word, causing Thor to grin.

“It’ll be great.  If nothing else, you can talk to the other nurses there.  But there’s some really great people there right now, and I think you’d find some good company.”  Thor winked. “You just have to be open to it.” Loki smirked, shaking his head.

“Alright.  I mean, they are watching ‘Annie.’  What could be better?” Loki stood from the stool, a mischievous sparkle to his eyes.  Thor smiled back at him.

“It’s a hard knock life, kid,” he joked, shooting Loki a wink.  Loki had to sit back down, he was laughing so hard.

 

***

 

The next time he was scheduled for the emergency department, Thor knew he needed to be careful.  It was draining on him in ways the other wards were not. He hadn’t left the marines because of traumatic episodes, but there were times things would creep in, and it never felt like he was prepared to handle the flashbacks.  Like right this very moment. Thor had locked himself in the staff room bathroom and slid down to the floor. Images of young soldiers flashing through his head as he sucked down air. They’d lost someone right in the ER lobby today.  A young woman. Senior in college. Some mugger had approached her at her car and demanded her bag. Witnesses said she wouldn’t hand it over, and she’d been shot. The mugger ran off with her bag anyways. He sobbed, pounding his fists into his legs, just to feel something.  Something to remind himself this happened in ER’s all over the country and not just to children who decided to go off to war. 

Thor’s pager went off, and he just could not look at it.  They were probably looking for him, needing him for something else.  Some other menial tasks for other people who had come in needing help.  This certainly wasn’t the first time he’d been treating someone who’d died.  And he couldn’t explain why he was getting so bothered, now. He bit into his hand, trying to keep himself from crying.  ‘ _She’d had her whole life ahead of her!  What was one lousy bag for a life?'_  he thought.

There were countless other young people Thor had seen while he served in the Marines.  He’d been almost 25 when he joined up, and there were 18 year old kids rushing into war zones like it was nothing.  Some even a year younger, not even adults in the eyes of the law. It broke his heart every time he saw one come through that had lost a limb or gotten too close to the action and not made it out.  He’d always had a strong protective instinct, and it bothered him when anyone got hurt or passed on, but none so much as those younger than himself. It made him feel like he’d failed them somehow.

           There was a knock at the door as Thor took in a large, shaky lungful of air.

           “Thor, it’s Natasha,” he heard from the other side of the door.  Thor cleared his throat, his knuckles white from clenching his fists so hard.  He scrubbed his hands over his face a few times. “You wanna let me in, big guy?” she asked.  Thor barked out a laugh.

           “Not really,” he smirked.

           “Shit, Thor.  Just let me in, huh?” she sighed.  Thor slammed a fist back into the wall, breathing hard; but he crawled over and popped the lock on the door.  Natasha opened it and quickly slipped inside, noticing his sweaty, tear-streaked face. She sat down next to him and didn’t say anything for awhile.

           “She wasn’t even out of college,” he told her.  Natasha patted his hand.

           “I know.”  They sat there for a little while longer, Thor listening to Natasha’s breaths and trying to match her.  When he’d gotten himself under control again, Natasha spoke. “So...Jane says you’re off for the rest of today and all of tomorrow.  And if you need more time, to just tell her.” Thor started to protest, but Natasha held up a hand. “I don’t make the rules. I’m just the messenger.”  Thor sighed and stood up, he wasn’t OK, but he was getting there. He offered a hand to Natasha and pulled her up when she took it.

           “Alright,” he agreed, opening the door up and waiting for Natasha to step through.  She nodded back at him and went to leave the staff lounge. “Thanks, Natasha,” he called after her.  She turned and gave him a small smile.

           “Just take care of yourself, OK?”  He nodded back and she left the room.  

 

***

 

That evening, when he was working out with Steve, he knocked the other man to the floor from the force of his roundhouse kick against the punching bag Steve had been holding.  When Thor kept on hitting the bag, not even noticing Steve’s sprawled out form, the blond came up and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I think we should grab some dinner, yeah?”  Thor’s lower lip quivered, but he accepted Steve’s generous offer. They ended up at some Ethiopian restaurant—Bucky had joined them—and you ate with this spongy, sourdough-tasting pancake bread.  No utensils. It was hearty and warm and exactly what Thor had needed.

 

***

In the month that followed, Thor was happy to see Loki starting to find coping methods of his own.  He was doing more than painting and fretting. He interacted with some of the nurses when he was out and about, he actually took lunches with his father, when he was available, he had a nice stack of books going in the study, and Thor had even caught him working out in the rehabilitation room a few times.  It had almost been unavoidable to stare. Loki did yoga or tai chi in the mornings, in what Thor assumed was for stress relief. He’d never caught it, but Hogun had told him about the late night aikido sessions he’d seen, maybe once or twice a week, when his energy was good.

Thor hadn’t realized how much he missed seeing Hogun, now that he’d transitioned over to the night shift full time.  He was a quiet guy, but Thor always felt at ease around him. His week of night shifts started in a few days, and Thor looked forward to spending more time with him.  Out of curiosity, he kept tabs on Loki’s attendance at the weekly movie night Natasha ran in the psych ward. “Every week!” she’d tell him, punching his shoulder when he asked.  And if anyone thought his interest in Loki was a little over-the-top, no one said anything to him. So he was clearly still doing a good job of being professional about things.

He never mentioned Loki’s name to his friends, so he felt like he was still doing good, keeping Loki’s privacy.  But as he stood in his kitchen, cooking dinner for Sif, Fandral, and himself, he started to realize just how obsessed he was becoming.

“Thor, I think you should think about finding a local VA,” Sif told him, interrupting another of Thor’s Loki stories.

“What?”  He paused in his stirring.  Fandral looked over at her. His time as a Marine wasn’t something he spoke about very often, but Sif had known him a long time.  She’d talked with him when he was breaking down overseas, feeling terrible for the local citizens who’d been caught up in the war.  For the soldiers who got hurt, or lost their lives. She was there when he came back and had a tough go of readjusting after so long away.  He’d even spent an entire week with her, just laying out at the beach on Tybee Island. It was almost like Sif had to re-teach him how to relax.  As such, she had a special insight into Thor’s moods that he didn’t always pick up on.

“You need a new outlet,” she insisted.  “Your job and this patient at the hospital can’t be your whole focus, Thor.”  He watched as Fandral tried taking her hand, sneakily, under the counter, but Sif stole it back and crossed her arms, giving Thor a hard stare.  He thought something might be going on with the two of them, but didn’t want to say anything. If Sif wanted to discuss it, she would, but not until she was ready.  It was just her way.

“That’s not my whole focus.  I still hang out with you guys—“

“And talk about your crush,” she interrupted.  “Or, guess which child was so adorable today? Can you believe I took blood pressure on 30 people today?  That’s a new personal best! You worked two hours extra today, just because,” Sif complained. Thor was getting upset.  Loki wasn’t just a crush, and Sif telling him he spoke of nothing else but the hospital was out of line. It wasn’t true.  He went to stand across from her at the countertop.

“I also work out with Steve!” he pushed back.

“And talk about your guy!”  Sif stood up, throwing her arms in the air.  “Or, surprise, surprise, how many people had walked through the door.  Or the number of towels in the linen closet. Or...what was it? You traumatized poor Steve about the hardships of putting in a catheter this week.”  Fandral looked uncomfortable.

“How would you know?” he shouted back, slamming a fist down onto the counter as his pasta boiled over.  Thor groaned when Fandral pointed it out and went to shut off the burner. He fisted his hands into his hair.  Sif wasn’t right, right? Steve would have said something...right? Fandral would have said something. His coworkers would have noticed…  Sif huffed as she sat back down. This time, Fandral was successful in grabbing her hand.

“Steve is helping me out teaching self-defense classes at the gym near my work.  He plays the attacker. Did you even listen when I told you about that?”

“What?”  He looked over at the two of them.  Surely he’d remember if Sif had told him about self-defense classes she was teaching.

“She’s right, mate.  It’s been going on for a few weeks, now.”  Sif looked away from him.

“No…”  Thor looked over to Fandral, who just nodded his head.  “Sif,” he pleaded, moving to stand across the counter from her again.  She looked over at him, finally. “Have I really been that bad?”

“I just think you got a lot going on up there,” she sighed, rubbing a hand under her nose.  “And you can get too focused on one thing, throwing yourself into something you can control.  Because it’s a routine, or because it’s manageable. Wake up, go to work, take care of what you’re supposed to, eat, sleep.”  She sighed, taking her hand from Fandral’s and placing both of hers in Thor’s. “The VA has always been a good outlet for you.  Volunteering, making friends, talking with people who understand your experiences. I don’t know. But you’ve been awfully distant lately…and I’m getting tired of listening to you talk about your new obsession while you ignore the people around you.”  Sif was visibly upset about the whole thing, he could tell. It was almost as if she was jealous of Loki, now that he was such a big part of his day-to-day. It hurt to know that he’d missed out on some important changes in Sif’s life because he was too focused on himself.

“I’ve neglected you all,” he frowned.  

“Hey, we understand,” Fandral smiled, patting Thor’s arm.  “You’ve got a hard job, and…” he wiggled his eyebrows, “keeping your hands off your guy is almost a full-time job in itself.  We understand you want people to talk to about it.”

“Just don’t let it be the only thing we talk about,” Sif reminded him, letting go of his hands.  He nodded, deciding to find some active Veterans groups on his time off. He had really enjoyed the one in Virginia, but hadn’t had time, it seemed, when he moved here.  In fact, he’d nearly forgotten about it altogether. He hadn’t realized just how hard hitting his rotations in the ER were until now. Not only had he let work be a way to cope with the trauma, he’d also kept his friends at arm's length to disguise what was going on.  He never wanted Sif to feel like she wasn’t a big part of his life. And she was right. Routine was easy and natural to him—familiar—but it wasn’t the way he wanted to be living his life. It was time he found a few things to do on his own, and it was certainly time he had a talk with Jane about working in the ER again.  He was beginning to understand her strange look all those months ago.

“So, tell me about these self-defense classes,” he smiled, getting out of his head and focusing back on his friends.  “Do you need an extra attacker? I kinda deserve to be beaten up.” Sif laughed.

“I’ll think about it,” she winked.  “The classes are going well. Steve’s beefy enough to be a challenge for the ladies, and I really enjoy watching them flip him onto his backside.”  Thor and Fandral laughed with her. It made for quite a picture in his head. “I have about twelve ladies right now, and I love every one of them. When we’re done, they’ll be a force to be reckoned with.”  Thor had no doubt. He pulled Sif across the counter a little and kissed the top of her head.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, pulling Fandral in for a hug, as well.  The two ribbed him some more as he turned back to the pasta and started the pot back to boil.  When he checked the sludgy mess a few minutes later, he figured he should come up with a plan b.  “Honestly, I think this pasta is toast… You guys want to grab something out, on me?”

***

That weekend, he found a great Veterans Association.  The man he’d talked to on the phone seemed really great, and helped Thor set up an appointment.  He also recommended a local VFW chapter that was really active for younger vets. If the center was as good as he made it sound, Thor would fit right in there.  The VFW was a 20 minute train ride, but it would be worth it, he told himself, stepping inside for the first time. Someone greeted him at the door and gave him a quick tour.  One thing was certain. The man at the VA was right. There were a lot of people here, a lot of activity going on. When he found the bar area, a familiar sight greeted him, and he sat down heavily next to a middle-aged man.  Big, burly, and bearded. His red hair reminded him of a Viking.

“Volstagg,” he mumbled, nudging the man next to him.  They’d served together during Thor’s first tour in Iraq, and he’d lost track of the man afterwards.  Thor had signed on for a second tour, and Volstagg had decided it was a good time to retire. Now here he was, drowning himself in food and drink, just like Thor remembered.  The Viking-like man turned towards him.

“Thor?  Is that you?”  Volstagg broke out into a loud guffaw, slapping him on the back. He ordered two more beers, and pulled him in for a hug.  “What are you doing here, son?” he cheered. “And what did you do with your hair?”

“I could say the same to you!”  Both of them had grown out their locks much longer than their time in the military.  He liked the look on Volstagg. It gave him more of an intimidating teddy bear quality.  “I’m in a bit of hot water with my friends,” he confessed, accepting the kind offer of a beer from him.  “Sif pointed out that I was focusing a little too much on the job and not enough on my own life. So, here I am, trying to get a little perspective.”  It was mostly the truth. He left out the part where he was head over heels for a patient and trying to work through some kind of PTSD episodes, but he didn’t need to dish out all the dirty laundry right now.  Volstagg took a long drag from his beer, and Thor did the same. The older man gave him a sad smile.

“I missed you, kid,” he smirked.  “My wife’s getting tired of hearing all my old war stories, so you’ve come at precisely the right time,” he teased him.  Thor chuckled. Volstagg did love to talk and tell stories of his time in the Marines. As he should. But he knew from personal experience that people got tired of listening to you go on about it.

“Well, you have a willing ear in me,” he promised, taking another swig of the beer.  A collective groan went around the room, and Thor laughed. “Has he exhausted the rest of you as well?”

 

***

 

He’d exchanged numbers with Volstagg, promising to keep in touch this time, and set up another time for them to meet and really catch up.  He felt lighter, leaving the VFW, than he had in a while. He called Sif up, an instant smile on his face when she answered.

“You were right,” he sighed.  She laughed.

“Good.  Are you feeling better?”

“Yes.  Soooo much better that I want to grill you a beautiful steak up on the roof.”  It felt good to hear Sif happy on the other end. He had really gotten himself a little too entrenched with his job, and he missed Sif.  He missed spending time the two of them. She was like the sister he’d never had.

“Alright, alright.  I guess I can make myself available for you.”  He heard laughing in the background and wondered what she was up to.

“You want to meet me at my place in an hour?” he asked.  Sif was snickering and whispering “stop it…STOP it…” in the background before she addressed him again.

“Hour sounds great.”  He heard someone grunting in the background, like they’d just been kicked, and he tried hard not to say anything about it.  “Who else is coming?” He paused, wondering if he should invite Fandral or Steve, or both. But as much as he loved his other friends, he wanted to be a little selfish and keep her all to himself tonight.  “Thor?” Sif brought him back to the conversation and he cleared his throat.

“Do you…do you mind if it’s just us?” he asked, worried she’d say no or want someone else there.  But he was worrying over nothing. The sound of something heavy hitting the floor echoed in Thor’s ear as Sif came back on.

“Sorry,” she grumbled.  He could hear her readjusting on the other end.  “I’d love that.” Thor let out a small breath, happy she wasn’t too upset with him, still, to not want to spend time with him.  “Now go buy me a nice big steak and I’ll see you in an hour.” Thor laughed and hung up with her. He was almost positive it had been Fandral to hit the floor.

***

Their dinner had been excellent.  Casual, with the two of them in sweats and t-shirts.  Thor’s hair tied up in a topknot on his head, and Sif’s hanging loose and wild.  They’d cleaned up the dinner plates and came back up to the roof. It was just getting dark out as Thor and Sif collapsed onto the double lounge chair, and, after a while of laying in silence, digesting and enjoying the weather, the sun set and the stars twinkled into view.

“I think it’s more than just a crush,” Thor said, breaking the silence at long last.  Sif turned her head to stare at him and reached over to take his hand.

“That’s OK, you know,” she smiled.  “It just means we need to start having a different type of conversation.  No more, how to hold back, but, how to proceed and how to stay professional.”  Thor swallowed, nodding. It was a scary step to take.

“I can’t believe I neglected you, Siffy,” he murmured, feeling his eyes sting with tears.  Everything seemed to come out in the dark and peace of the night. He’d needed this time with her.  They hadn’t connected, just the two of them, in a long time. Sif’s brows furrowed and she moved to pull Thor over to her. 

“It’s alright,” she soothed, drawing his head to her shoulder.  “I know you don’t do it intentionally, Thor.” She scratched his back as he hugged her.

“You’re family, Sif.  It’s inexcusable.” She laughed and kissed the top of his head.

“Alright,” she conceded, giving him one last pat on the back before shoving him back over to his own side of the lounger.  “Just knowing you’re working to stay on top of it will be enough for me,” she smiled. “I hate it when you shrink all in on yourself.  But I do understand.” Sif folded her hands to lay on top of her stomach, and Thor mirrored her gesture.

After a few moments, he decided to push his luck tonight.  “So, is there something you want to tell me?” he asked, blinking his eyes at her rapidly as he pasted a demure smile on his face.  Sif rolled her eyes and kicked his foot.

“You’re insufferable,” she groaned.  Thor laughed and looked back out at the city lights.  Every time they were up here, he marvelled at the amazing view.  It was a few more minutes of silence before Sif spoke up. “I may have something going on with Fandral.”  She squeezed her hands together tightly, waiting for his response. Thor smiled.

“Was that so hard?”  He poked her in the side and Sif yelped.

“You’re such a jerk!” she laughed, as Thor launched an attack on her sides.  “Stop!!” She kicked him hard in the hip, and Thor fell back, laughing himself.

“Couldn’t help it,” he winked.  Sif just shook her head at him.

“Ass…”  Thor stuck his tongue out at her and she kicked him again.  They settled down once more and he turned to face her.

“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy for you, Sif,” he smiled, taking her hand and placing a kiss on the top of it.  “I really like Fandral. He complements you in a way I wasn’t sure you’d enjoy.” Sif huffed, taking her hand back, but he could see that little tell-tale smile on her face that told him she was pleased.  They spent the rest of the night talking about Sif’s self-defense class, and the women she was helping. Sif asked about his experience at the VFW, and he told her about running into Volstagg. Eventually, she dished a little more on Fandral, and, because he couldn’t help himself, he did the same about Loki.  And that was OK.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all for today, folks! :D Again, posting will be a little weird because I'm out of town. So, I might post during the day on the 17th. Just so you's all know. ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! I just got done with an entire Steampunk ball, guys. Where I was wearing a hoop skirt, crinoline, under skirt, over skirt, two bustle pads, a lobster tail bustle, and a fabric tie bustle on top of all that. I was gigantic. And gorgeous. :D And I rushed up here after everything was over with, and it's still 11/17 when I write this, and I'll be super sad if I don't get this out before it hits midnight....... Buuuuuttt, here's the new chapter! :D Straight from Teslacon 2018!! ;D Enjoy!!
> 
>  
> 
> Art drawn for this fic by [Kamthe!](http://kamthe.tumblr.com/post/180061901601/hi-everyone-im-here-with-my-second-thorki)

Thor was three quarters of the way through his shift on Thursday when his pager went off with Loki’s room number.  It was five am, and certainly not a normal hour for Loki to be up. The notes from Pam & Evelyn mentioned he’d been doing well and sleeping in his regular bed without a problem.  When he chose to do this, they had him wear a heart monitor, though, just to be safe. This is what was going off when he got to the room.

Thor knocked on the door to the small, private bedroom before opening it.  Loki sat on the edge of the bed with his head between his knees, just breathing in and out.  He came in and took a seat next to him, rubbing small circles on Loki’s back. “Hey, Loki,” he murmured.  The smaller man cleared his throat and took another deep breath before he said anything.

“Hey, Thor,” he chuckled.  “Fancy meeting you here.” Thor chuckled, too, getting up to fiddle with the heart monitor screen on the bedside table.  He turned off the noise it was making, allowing Loki time to adjust.

“How are you this morning?” he asked.

“I don’t know how you do these night shifts,” Loki replied, deflecting Thor’s question.

“They’re not so bad.  I give myself the whole weekend to adjust, and then it’s business as usual.”  He smiled and sat back down next to Loki. “So, what’s going on?” he tried again.

“Oh, you know…” Loki took another deep breath in.  “Just a small anxiety attack.” Thor sat quietly as Loki worked on getting his breathing under control.  He took deep breaths in with him, and out.

“You’re doing a good job with your breathing,” he encouraged.  “Did I ever tell you I was a Marine?” he asked, trying to engage Loki in some conversation.

“You and that long hair?” the pale man replied.  “They’d never let you in.” He took in another shaky breath as Thor laughed.

“Yeah, I had to cut it, but I joined to help in the medical bay.  Almost nine years in the Corps. Can you believe it?” He whistled and Loki sat up to look at him.

“That’s a long time,” Loki breathed, looking like some of his nerves were calming down a bit.  Thor hummed, not sure how he felt about it. It was a long time, and it was very fulfilling, but there were many good men he’d served with who had been serving for much longer, or some who planned to serve for longer still, after he’d left.  It just depended on how you looked at it, he supposed.

“I found a local VFW this past weekend and reconnected with an one of my brothers; big bear of a guy I used to serve with,” he smiled, thinking again of the sheer improbability of running into him there.  Loki kept up with his deep breathing and Thor gave a quick look to the heart monitor. It was certainly getting under control. “I hadn’t seen him in years, and he’s now got this long red hair and big bushy beard, and it just suits him.”  Thor thought back to his time with Volstagg. He’d told Thor a few stories about his kids, and it was heartening to hear things were well for him. “He always loved telling stories and joking around with all the guys. I’m glad he hasn’t changed in that regard.”  He watched as Loki laid down on the bed and closed his eyes. His breathing seemed much easier, now. 

“What’s…..what’s his name?” Loki asked.

“Volstagg.”  When Loki opened his eyes, he did an impression of Volstagg’s intimidating form, getting the younger man to laugh.

“Did you like serving?” he asked, curiously.

“I did.  It was a really gratifying time in my life.  Hard. You see a lot of terrible things, sometimes.  But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” Loki sat up and stared at him like he was trying to figure out a really difficult equation.

“Would you go back, if they asked you?” he finally replied.  Thor thought about it for awhile. It was a tough question to consider.  There were a lot of factors to add up, now, that he hadn’t had before.

“If they asked me today?  My answer would probably be no.  But in a few years’ time, who knows?  I could be in a relationship by then, and then it wouldn’t just be my opinion I was considering.”  He subtly slipped in that he was single, hoping Loki would catch on. When the slighter man started fiddling with his hands, Thor got up, remembering something.  “I want to grab something for you real quick. I’ll be right back, OK?” Loki nodded.

It was best not to leave someone alone, when they went through an anxiety attack, but Loki looked a lot better, and he felt this might help.  He went quickly to one of the supply closets to find what he was looking for, and hurried back with his prize. It was a weighted blanket, which, he’d learned, was helpful for people with anxiety.  When Thor returned, Loki was sitting against the headboard, the covers dragged over his lower half. Thor came up next to him and had him lean forward as he draped the heavy blanket over his shoulders and wrapped it around him.  “What is this?” Loki asked. His brows had furrowed in concentration, but he’d also burrowed a little deeper into the blanket.

“It’s a weighted blanket,” Thor explained.  “I read they can be helpful for anxiety, and we happen to keep a bunch of these, of varying weight, on hand.”  Loki pulled the blanket to rest on top of his head as well and he leaned back against the headboard.

“I like it,” he mumbled, around the fabric.  Thor smiled.

“Good!  I can get some information about them, as well as the study, if you’d like.”  Loki nodded and he made a mental note to mark that in Loki’s chart. At the very least, Eir would discuss all this with him at their next session, he was sure.  Thor paused as soon as he saw it, grinning as a strike of inspiration hit him. “Would you mind indulging me a little?” he asked, hoping this would help Loki through his episode.  Loki peeked his head out a little from his blanket cocoon.

“Depends on what you’re asking,” the pale man replied, smirking.

“I was wondering if you might read to me a little.  You’ve got a great voice.” Thor gave him his best puppy dog eyes.  It was a great distraction for Loki, and he honestly couldn’t get enough of the man’s voice.  It was the very definition of sensuality, and—for some unknown reason—he kept it under wraps. Loki was efficient with his words, and spoke only when he felt it was warranted, or he couldn’t help himself.  It was a little maddening to Thor, for he saw him so briefly, most of the time, and occasionally didn’t hear him say anything at all.

Loki smiled and turned his head to look at the book resting on his nightstand.  “All I have in here is a collection of short stories by Oscar Wilde. But if you’d like to hear one, I could read it to you,” he replied, inclining his head at Thor as he closed his eyes.

“I’d be honored,” Thor answered, a wide smile gracing his face.  Loki leaned over and brought the book to his lap. As he yawned, he turned to the table of contents before selecting one.

“I’ll read you the story of the Selfish Giant,” Loki decided, turning to the page he needed.  Under the blanket, he looked warm and comforted.

***

Though it was hardly a long story, Loki had fallen asleep before the end of it.  It was a sweet story about a giant hoarding his garden all to himself until he realized it was the children who made it come to life.  The giant had made a friend, and shared his garden with all the children. But his friend had disappeared after the first day. Thor moved the book from Loki’s lap, took the blanket from around his shoulders and gently laid the slighter man down on the bed.  He covered him in the covers and the weighted blanket before picking the book back up to finish the tale.

_“And the child smiled on the Giant, and said to him, ‘You let me play once in your garden, today you shall come with me to my garden, which is Paradise.’  And when the children ran in that afternoon, they found the Giant lying dead under the tree, all covered with white blossoms.”_  Thor’s eyes watered.  Did Loki know he’d picked such a bittersweet tale to read?  Perhaps he had, and he found it comforting to read such sentiments.  Thor placed the book back on the nightstand and turned on the alarm for the heart rate monitor again.  When he closed the door to the room, his heart beat a little stronger for the troubled man inside it.

***

Ever since that night, Thor had taken to coming in before or after his shifts, depending on when he was working.  He’d spend a little time with Loki and the younger man would read to him. It wasn’t every day, but a few times a week, and he was enjoying every minute of it.  Turned out, Loki was a big fan of short stories and children’s books. Yes, he loved novels, and had shelves and shelves full of great literature and trashy novels alike, but he enjoyed reading the shorter pieces aloud, and was happy to indulge Thor, when he asked.  Right now, he was reading from a collection of short stories by TC Boyle, an author Thor hadn’t heard of before. The stories made you think; they were hard looks into the lives of the people in them. Some made him quite sad, but the sound of Loki’s voice drew him in, always.  He’d heard him read Madeline, Bartleby the Scrivener, and Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile. Just the other day, they’d finished The Doorbell Rang. Madeline getting her appendix out was very touching for Thor. She was so little, but very brave. It reminded him of some of the children he checked on in the pediatric ward.  Bartleby’s story had made him sad. By the end, he realized, if Bartleby couldn’t live how he preferred, he chose not to live at all. 

He wondered how the story had made Loki feel.  He could hardly imagine this was how the raven-haired man would choose to live, but he seemed to be making efforts to make it work.  He, at least, yielded to Thor when he would ask to hear him read again. Each time Loki would give him a small smile before leading Thor over to the study.  He’d pick out a tome of his choosing and sit in the plush leather armchair while Thor would sit in the smaller, fabric chair opposite him. And the soothing sounds of Loki’s voice would wash over him.  He had a great cadence for reading aloud.

_“Yes,”_ he read, pulling Thor from his musings, _“she was living in the past and her mother was dying and she’d gone to college for nothing, but she was determined to create a new future—for herself and Admiral—and when she took him to the dog park she lingered outside the gate, to let him run free where he really wanted to be, out there on the street where the cars shunted by and the wheels spun and stalled and caught the light till there was nothing else in the world.  ‘Good boy,’ she’d say. ‘Good boy.’”_  Loki closed the book and looked up at Thor.

“Thank you,” he smiled.

“Of course,” Loki whispered, tucking some of his hair behind his ear.  “What did you think?” He seemed fidgety, now that he didn’t have anything to do, and Thor was still in his space.

“I felt bad for Nisha, and for Admiral.  But it ended on a hopeful note, even if everything had fallen apart.”  Loki hummed and got up to reshelve the book. He placed it in a whole section of other TC Boyle books, and Thor was amazed at how many there were.  “Do you like his books?” Thor asked.

“He’s an incredible author.  The way he can pick an issue and make you see it twisted from both sides is simply fascinating.”  Loki turned back to look at him.

“Any you recommend?  I might want to read something else of his,” he smiled.  Loki chewed on his bottom lip before turning back around.  He pulled out a book and handed it over to Thor, a major step for Loki.  Thor wasn’t sure he’d ever touched Loki’s things before, let alone been given the chance to borrow something.  The title read “Talk, Talk.”

“It’s about identity theft,” Loki explained.  “I can lend it to you, if you’d like.” A lot of fidgeting was going on, and Thor’s brow furrowed.

“Are you sure?” He gave Loki a pointed look, silently communicating that he shouldn’t push himself for something he wasn’t ready for.  Loki swallowed and went over to the table next to his leather chair. It held the bag of the Mad Mattr Thor had given him. He took the ball out and started playing with it, giving himself something safely tangible to worry over.

“Yes,” he decided, sitting down to face Thor again.  Thor let him sit there for a few moments longer, giving him time to fully decide.

“OK,” he intoned.  “I plan to keep this in my locker all day today.  If you change your mind at any point, or it’s causing too much distress, you will page me, so I can return it to you,” he replied in his best commanding voice.  He was not about to be a trigger for Loki’s OCD. It was interesting to watch Loki relax to his gruffer tone of voice. But he wanted to lighten the mood. “I promise, I own a library card, and I know how to check things out.”  Thor winked, and Loki relaxed fully into the chair, finally.

“I would like to lend it to you, Thor,” he said with finality, throwing the Mad Mattr at Thor’s face.  He caught it just in time and chuckled.

***

By the middle of September, things started taking more of a downturn for Loki.  Less and less often he saw the raven-haired man out of bed, but Thor would still stop by to wheel him outside, once or twice a week.  Fresh air was still important, especially with winter coming up in a few months, when there wouldn’t be a whole lot of desire for anyone to be outside.  Some days, Loki was so dizzy, he needed assistance to make it over to the bathroom and back to the bed. Some days had him suffering headaches, the pain so bad, he was too nauseous to eat.  Dr. Banner was there through it all, monitoring, trying new medications, and finally making the decision that the once-a-month blood transfusions just weren’t enough. Loki needed more, and Thor watched the younger man fret and worry as he came down with a nasty cold while it was still summer. 

Today seemed to be the high point of the cold.  Loki had woken up delirious, with a high fever, and they’d taken immediate measures to bring it down.  When Thor came in that morning, Evelyn briefed him on the new medications and the IV drip that had been set up.  He was assigned to the pediatric ward this morning, but he couldn’t stop fretting over Loki. If he needed anything.  If he worried about Thor not being around. Did he want anyone to call a friend or a parent to come sit with him? He rolled his cart through the doors to one of the community rooms on the pediatric floor and beamed at all the kids inside.  He may be worried about Loki, but these kids deserved his full attention. More than that, they always brightened his day.

“Thor!” they all shouted, coming to crowd around the cart.

“Hey everyone!” he greeted them, hugging and patting the kids who had latched onto him.  “I’ve got some medicine for you guys, and stickers for everyone who makes it through unscathed,” he teased.  They all laughed and started lining up for him. He didn’t know how they were so well behaved, but these kids were such amazing little souls.  It always got to him that they were cooped up in a place like this. He was also grateful that Jane always stuck him with the smaller children.  They were full of so much wonder and innocence, he could do nothing but reflect that back with them. It was a great gift to spend time with them.  By contrast, Natasha liked the challenge of the older kids, and they all seemed to respect her. Some nurses, like Peggy, steered clear of the pediatric ward all-together.  Everyone had their strengths.

When he’d handed out the last cup of medicine and handed a sticker over to each kid—because, honestly, none of them gave him any trouble—he parked his cart to the side so he could begin another tradition he’d started with the kids.  They were all sat around in a circle, waiting for Thor to come sit in the middle. He smiled, took his hair down from the bun for them, and sat for all the kids to crowd around. He didn’t know who had started it—probably Jill—but every one of the kids he watched had learned to braid, and each one would take a turn putting a braid in his hair.  While they braided, Thor would tell them stories of great adventures he’d made up.

“Where were we last time?” he asked them, in a hushed, excited voice.

“The bilgesnipe!” they all shouted, three of the kids going to braid his hair while another one crawled into his lap.  The one in his lap was a new addition to their group, Reese. She was so small and shy, but had the cutest curly red hair.  If Shirley Temple had been a red head, she still wouldn’t have been as cute as Thor’s little Reese-y. When he was on duty, she stuck to him like glue.  He wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t mind.

“Oh, yes,” he grinned.  “The terrible, smelly bilgesnipe.  It was a great and most foul beast,” he boomed, puffing out his chest and stretching his arms round, to look like a large, round monster.  “It was wreaking havoc on all the towns in nearby Forestelan. And our fearsome heroine…” Thor paused to give the kids a confused look. “What was her name again?  I’ve forgotten.” They all giggled.

“Darcy!” Colin shouted, bouncing on his heels.  He hadn’t meant to put Loki’s agent into his fictional tale, but he couldn’t get the image out of his head once he’d thought of it.

“Yes!  The brave Lady Darcy!” he rumbled.  “She had a great and terrible power, one to make even the mightiest bilgesnipe cower in fear and run away.  So when the beast happened up on her that afternoon, it stopped its rampaging and cowered before her. For Lady Darcy’s power was she could make anyone or anything laugh!  She had the funniest jokes and made the loudest farting noises of all!” Thor made a farting noise with his arm, and all the kids laughed. A few mimicked Thor, making them all laugh again.

“Why would that make a monster scared?” Alice protested.  “It’s fun to laugh. It makes everyone happy!”

“Ah!”  Thor put his finger up near his face.  “But laughter is the enemy of every bilgesnipe,” he explained.  “Their furry bodies puff up with so much air.” Thor puffed out his cheeks.  “And then they shake and shake and shake and roar with laughter until they fall on their backs and can’t get up until another bilgesnipe comes along to help it out.”  The kids gasped, and Thor’s hair braiders switched off. He smiled. “And then there are the times when they don’t fall over, they shake so hard they shrink until they are no longer a bilgesnipe, but have turned into...a llama!” he shouted, throwing his hands in the air.  The kids shrieked.

“No!” they all cried.

“Yes!” he cheered.  “Can you believe it?  All this time you thought all llamas were just regular llamas.  Well, some of them are actually bilgesnipes who laughed too hard.”  The kids all giggled, some of them falling over and rolling on the soft carpet.  He smiled. It was a good day when the kids were this happy, when they weren’t thinking about being in the hospital or being sick.

“What is Darcy going to do?” Reese piped up.  Thor ruffled her hair.

“Well, Darcy knows just how great and terrible her power is against the bilgesnipes, and she knows these great and terrible beasts can sometimes just get lost and not mean to tear up villages and knock down houses.”  All the kids nod. “So she gives them a warning. The innocent bilgesnipes will back away until Lady Darcy has led them far away from the village. The mean ones will charge for Lady Darcy until she unleashes the funniest joke on them and they are defeated by her great power.”

“What about this bilgesnipe?” Patrick asks him, finishing a braid in Thor’s hair and going to sit down next to him and Reese.

“This great and most foul beast was...actually just a little lost.”  Some of the kids aww’d before he continued. “But Lady Darcy was most brave and powerful and her terrible awesomeness led the beast back into the forest, where it belonged, and the whole town erupted in cheers and celebrated her victory for many days!”  Thor roared, throwing his arms in the air and the kids shrieked, getting up to run around the room.

“I want to be Lady Darcy!” Jill cried, brandishing her hands like magic laughter would come out of them.  Thor laughed as Evelyn came into the room. In all their fun, he’d nearly forgotten about Loki, and his stomach dropped out as he watched her face.

“Hey, sweetie,” Evelyn smiled.  He swallowed nervously, standing up and carrying Reese with him.  She squealed as he sat her around his neck, letting her grab onto his hair as she held on.

“Hey, Evelyn, what’s up?”  He walked over to her, Evelyn laughing at his hair.

“Loki was a bit uncomfortable this morning with Pam and I,” she started, reaching up and ruffling Reese’s hair.  Thor put her down and encouraged her to play with the other kids for a bit.

“Yeah?”  He turned back to Evelyn, thinking Reese was a little young to be overhearing their conversation.

“It’s nothing we haven’t seen before,” Evelyn arched a brow, “and he didn’t seem to care so much in the past...  But I think the poor dear is feeling a little extra vulnerable and might appreciate a male presence to change out the towels and everything,” she smiled, sadly.

“Is he doing OK?”  Thor quickly threw his hair back up into a bun, braids and all.

“The second dose of meds won’t kick in for a little while yet, but he’s OK for now.  And when that second dose sets in, things should even out a lot more,” she explained.

“Alright, I have a few more hours on this floor, then I can head down.  Is that alright?” Evelyn placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it, honey.  Yes. He’ll be just fine until then.  I just wanted to catch you before it became too difficult to find you,” she joked.  Thor laughed.

“Alright.  Thanks,” he grinned.

***

He was finally done with everything on his floor and, sick to his stomach with worry, he went to check on Loki.  He should have been taking his lunch, but Thor knew he wouldn’t get a bite down while he was worried about Loki. They’d decided to use cool towels draped over his skin to help lower his temperature, but Loki was still shivering and sweating under them.  When Thor came in Loki opened his eyes and just stared.

“Thor,” he croaked.  Thor smiled, walking over to him with a calmness he hadn’t had a few moments before.

“Hey,” he soothed.  Loki’s hair was sticky and plastered to his face.  Thor knew he’d hate to be seen this way, so he moved the hair off his face, grabbed an extra hair tie from his pocket, and swung it up into a bun on the top of his head.  Loki hummed and closed his eyes.

“Feels nice,” he rasped.  Loki swallowed, and Thor could tell his throat was dry.  His body had plenty of fluids from the IV, but that didn’t mean he felt fully hydrated.

“Do you want some water?” he asked, checking to see how cool the towels were.

“It’s difficult…” he trailed off, coughing.  Thor caught his meaning.

“How about some ice chips?” he offered.  Loki opened his eyes to look at Thor again.  They were such a murky shade of green right now, their depths seemed to call to him.  A smile broke out on Loki’s face, like he’d just seen the most beautiful thing.

“Thor…” he giggled, but then tears were falling down his face.  “Everything hurts,” he whined, and it broke Thor’s heart. He decided on two things.  First, Loki needed some ice chips and some lip balm. Second, he needed a bath; Loki was drenched in sweat and sticky from the towels they’d placed on him.  Unfortunately, he wasn’t in any shape to move, so a sponge bath it would be.

“I’ll be right back, OK, Loki?”  He checked the towels again, concluding fresh ones would be best.  The younger man just closed his eyes. Thor ran off quickly to get what he needed.  When he got back, Loki seemed to be a little more aware. He guessed the second round of the medication had kicked in from the IV, and he smiled.  “Hey,” Thor called, when he rolled his cart into the room. He brought in more cold towels, a little bucket of ice chips, lip balm, a bucket of cool water with some lavender-smelling no-rinse body wash in it, and a nice soft sponge. 

“Were you in here earlier?” Loki asked, a little confused.  He sat up straighter to watch Thor.

“Yes,” the blond smiled, a bit of his tongue poking out over his bottom lip.  Thor washed his hands and put some gloves on while Loki chuckled softly.

“At least I’m not making everything up.”  He coughed again as Thor came up to the bed.

“I got you some new towels, some ice chips, and I figured it might be nice to try for a cool sponge bath, since you really shouldn’t get out of this bed right now,” he replied, turning to the ice bucket and scooping some chips into a cup for Loki.  When he turned back around, Loki’s face was redder than it had been a moment ago.

“Are you sure about the bath?” he laughed, looking nervous as he accepted the cup of ice chips Thor handed over.  He put one in his mouth right away and hummed, happy, Thor was sure, to have a little relief for his dry throat.

“I promise; you’ll feel a lot better,” Thor replied.  When Loki nodded, Thor worked to sit the bed up a little more.  He put down the guardrail on his side, to make it easier, and took off the towels on the top half of Loki’s body.  The slighter man’s whole body shuddered to the sudden change in temperature, and he bent over, coughing again. Thor held him steady, his mind doing somersaults, unhelpfully telling him this was the most skin he’d ever seen of Loki’s.  He shut the thoughts down angrily. _‘Now is not the time, Odinson!’_

“Alright,” he eased, helping Loki to lay back.  His coughs, luckily, sounded dry. Any other sound and he’d be worried about pneumonia.  When Loki was laying back again, Thor turned his attention to the bucket, swirling the water around a little bit to agitate the body wash inside.  “There’s some no-rinse body wash in here,” he explained. “So you don’t have to worry about needing to rinse off, or feel like it’s just water we’re splashing over your skin,” he grinned, trying to put Loki more at ease.  The pale man smirked at him. “I put the lavender in there because it’s calming and helps with headaches.” Loki nodded. “I’m going to start with your back, since it’ll require the most energy to hold yourself up, OK?”

“That’s fine,” the slighter man replied.  Thor helped him sit up, then moved the little over-bed-table over for him to lean on.  He stared at Loki’s back as he dunked the sponge into the bucket of cool water and squeezed the excess water out.  He really was so beautiful. Even with his skin as heated and flushed as it was, it still had a glow to it. Thor wanted to run his tongue along his spine and watch Loki shiver for another reason entirely.  Instead, he placed the cold sponge firmly on Loki’s neck and was rewarded with a small moan. His dick jumped in excitement and Thor wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle this, after all.

“I think I’ll add a small towel to your neck, when we’re done,” Thor squeaked.  He watched Loki’s face heat up even more, if that was at all possible.

“That feels really good,” he murmured.  Thor smiled, moving the sponge along Loki’s shoulders next and dunking it back into the bucket of cold water.  “Do you do this often?” Loki asked. Thor chuckled.

“It’s an off week when it doesn’t include a sponge bath,” he kidded.  

Loki laughed, then quickly whimpered when the sponge hit his skin again.  “It really sucks being sick,” he shuddered.

Thor smiled.  “It’s just the worst,” he agreed, placing heavy, comforting dabs on Loki’s back with the sponge.  When he’d reached his lower back, Thor was greeted with the lovely sight of Loki’s plump derriere.  He bit his lip and quickly turned to dunk the sponge back in the bucket.  _ ‘Part of my job…part of my job…don’t make this weird, or uncomfortable,’  _ he coached himself.  When he placed the sponge on one side of Loki’s hindquarters, the slighter man jumped in surprise.

“Sorry,” Thor spoke, quickly.  “I should have warned you.” Loki had hidden his face in his arms.

“No, I think I just forgot I was naked under these towels,” he mumbled.  “And that a bath involves washing your whole body…” He’d trailed off and Thor smiled.

“It’s nothing I don’t see on a daily basis,” Thor assured him, chuckling a little.  “Yesterday, there were at least two handfuls to cross my path.” Loki laughed loudly as Thor finished with his back.

“Pun intended?” he asked, starting to cough from laughing so hard. 

“Oh…” Thor groaned.  “Oh, no…not…” Thor laughed then, helping Loki lay back against the mattress.  “Not intended,” he clarified, putting the sponge back into the bucket. When he’d wrung it out again, Loki was smirking at him.

“You sure about that?” he wagged his eyebrows at Thor until he depressed the sponge entirely on Loki’s forehead.  Thor rolled his eyes, playfully.

“I’m sure.  Two handfuls is unprofessional.  You can only do one at a time,” he winked.  Loki shivered at the cooler temperature on his forehead and stared up at Thor.  

“Can you do my face a few times?” he asked, exhaling loudly before putting another ice chip in his mouth.  Thor swallowed and nodded back at him.

“Of course,” he assured him, dunking the sponge again and putting it to Loki’s face.  The younger man sighed, like he had found an oasis in the desert and was swimming in the cool waters.  Thor moved to his neck next, and Loki tilted his head back to bare more of it to Thor. It made his mouth water and he had to bite his tongue to keep himself focused.  Thor moved like he was in a trance, watching Loki’s glassy eyes follow his hands. The splash of the sponge into the water, wringing it tightly, the dabbing, sweeping motion on his overheated skin.  When he’d finished with Loki’s arms and moved on to his chest, his dick was almost fully aroused, and Loki was panting. The little whimper that escaped him when Thor passed over a nipple seemed to break the spell between them.  Loki bit down on his lip and looked away, just as Thor turned around to get the sponge wet again. Thor swallowed, trying hard to calm down.

“I’m sorry,” they both said at the same time.  Thor turned around and the two shared another laugh.  He pressed the sponge to Loki’s chest again, and the slighter man shivered.

“I’m just a bit sensitive,” Loki bit out, awkwardly.  Thor chuckled, willing the situation to right itself before he combusted right there in front of Loki.  “It’s the fever.” Thor wasn’t sure if he was lying, but he readily agreed.

“Yes, your skin can get quite sensitive with drastic temperature changes,” he nodded dumbly, rubbing the sponge over Loki’s sternum again and again before he caught on to what he was doing.  Thor blushed as he stole his hand away quickly, dunking the sponge back into the bucket. When his expression was under control again, he came back and finished with Loki’s abdomen. Thor cleared his throat, dropping the sponge back in the bucket, then moving the towel off of Loki’s legs, leaving his groin covered.  “If it makes you more comfortable, I can just wash your legs and leave the rest for you,” he offered. His brain was salivating at the prospect of washing every inch of Loki’s body, then snuggling up next to it and blowing his brains out, but those thoughts were not helpful right now and he cursed himself for the rightful pig he was.

“Um, sure,” came Loki’s quiet reply.  The atmosphere in the room had definitely changed.  When before there had been an easy nonchalance about their banter, now there was a heaviness.  Being face to face made this so much more sexual, somehow, and it wasn’t right. This was his job, and it didn’t include giving the patients a blowjob, especially when said patient was ill and fevered.  Loki’s breaths were louder, now, as Thor worked silently on his legs. The shaking in his limbs was a little more prominent, but Thor lifted each leg with ease to wash underneath and enjoy the underside of his ass again.  When he’d finished, he wrung out the dunked sponge one last time before handing it over to Loki and giving him a little privacy. The tension in the room was becoming unbearable and Thor worried what he would do. It would be so easy to just turn around and watch.  Luckily, he noticed the lip balm on his cart.

“Oh!” Thor burst out.  Loki jumped behind him.  “I brought some lip balm for you.  Your lips looked a little chapped.”  He listened to the pale man take a few deep breaths as he put some of the lip balm on a Qtip for him.

“Thank you,” Loki murmured, breaking the silence at last.  He handed over the sponge and Thor gave him the Qtip. They stared at each other the entire time, Loki lubing his lips while Thor wished it were something else getting that treatment.  He was still nearly naked in front of Thor, and when he’d handed the Qtip over to him to dispose of, Loki put a few more ice cubes in his mouth. Thor watched as the pale man’s tongue wrapped around the cold pellets, a thin stream of water escaping down the corner of his mouth and landing on his chest.  And just as his body began to lean forward to lap the little rivulet with his tongue, his brain finally woke up. ‘ _No, Thor!  Patient! Sick patient!  Danger, Will Robinson!! Danger!_ ’  He stood up quickly and saw the blush on Loki’s face again.  He needed to calm down.

Clearing his throat, he asked, “Are the ice chips helping?”  Thor forced a smile on his face. He was going to get out of here without doing something regrettable come hell or high water.  Loki crunched down hard on the cubes.

“Uh huh,” he nodded.  Thor was sure his eyes looked way too wild for the professional demeanor he was supposed to have, but there was nothing he could do about it while Loki laid there, naked for the taking.  He swallowed, forcing his eyes to look at Loki’s.

“I’m going to put some fresh, cool towels on you, then you should get some rest, OK?”  Loki nodded. His skin was still sweating, but he was clean. And the sweat was a good sign that the fever was breaking.  Thor laid out each towel carefully, looking away when Loki’s crotch was exposed. He could be good. He could keep it professional.  When he’d covered his body completely, Thor placed a smaller towel on the back of Loki’s neck and pulled a sheet over his flushed body.  Loki sighed in pleasure. “Are you comfortable?” he checked, counting down the seconds before he could leave and yell at himself somewhere private.  Loki nodded and closed his eyes. Thor’s heart soared looking at him all tucked in. “OK, if you get too cold, or you need more ice chips, or anything, you buzz us, OK?” he confirmed.  Loki nodded again. He’d put the cup of ice on the table that hovered over the bed. “OK. We’ll be back to check on you in an hour or two.” Maybe not him…probably not him. Thor bit his lip, staring one last time before rolling the cart out the door. 

He made notes in Loki’s chart outside the room and when he was about to wheel the cart back to the supply closet, a soft moan hit his ears.  Thor squeezed himself against the wall outside Loki’s room, feeling exposed and dirty. His heart was beating hard in his chest as another moan hit his ears.  Loki probably thought he’d left already; that no one was around to hear him right now. If he left, it would be entirely truthful. But he was frozen in place, listening to the soft whimpering and ‘fap, fap, fap’ of skin on skin.  Frozen, unable to do anything but palm his own erection as Loki masturbated in the room behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an unnatural affection for Bartleby the Scrivener, lol. So I had to include it in this chapter. I read it a few times, and it's such an odd story. I also love Oscar Wilde, so I had to include something from him. His quote about resisting everything but temptation is one of my favorites. :) All the books mentioned, really... TC Boyle is amazing. Talk Talk was incredible. The Tortilla Curtain. I loved Madeline as a child because we were both redheads. The Doorbell Rang is a children's book about cookies. I loved it. :)
> 
> I have to thank my discord channel for Thor's hair. They suggested the long hair precisely for the fact that children could be braiding it, and I just couldn't resist. It was adorable.
> 
>  
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ktspree13)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll post tomorrow's chapter in the afternoon, on my lunch, since today's chapter posted so late. ;) Enjoy, everyone!!!

It was almost month since the incident, and things had become a living hell.  Thor tried to keep up his visits with Loki outside his working hours, but the younger man was having none of it.  He’d gone back to his work when he wasn’t laid up in bed, and snapped at anyone who dared touch his things. The harder Loki pushed to keep his normal routine, the harder his body pushed back to take it easy.  It was easy to exert himself, now-a-days, and that brought on new issues, like a shortness of breath limiting his oxygen supply, or the exertion causing his heart to beat rapidly and trigger an anxiety attack.  Some days he’d walk into the room to see a new bruise on Loki’s skin and he couldn’t tell where it had come from. The search for a donor for Loki’s bone marrow transplant wasn’t turning up results as fast as he or his parents were hoping.  Bruce didn’t seem worried, so Thor tried to exude that same kind of calm when he was around Loki. When he was alone, however, he fretted and worried for the younger man nearly as much as Loki worried on his own.

Thor walked into Loki’s room towards the end of his shift to check on him and everything seemed amiss.  Loki kept the suite in impeccable condition, unable to handle it any other way. His antique clock was overturned on the table next to the hospital bed, and many of Loki’s favorite tomes had been thrown from the study onto the floor or into the main room.  Thor stared into the glass room that contained Loki’s studio. The music was turned up loud, and the younger man had set up a different mode of paint than his usual medium. There was a tarp lining the floor, and buckets of colored water sitting around. Loki had various sponges sitting on a rolling cart and took turns throwing them at the canvas at random, occasionally going over to slap the sponge against the canvas and empty the colored water all over it.

The longer he watched, the more concerned Thor grew.  Loki had “Natural” by Imagine Dragons playing on repeat, fueling his emotions, and he seemed to vacillate between anger and hopelessness as he worked.  He watched Loki’s chest puff in and out, rapidly, as he worked hard to keep going, keep working out his frustrations. Thor looked at his chart. With his condition getting worse, Dr. Banner had increased Loki’s transfusions, and the other man was not taking it well.  Thor knew his fatigue had been increasing for a while, and while he didn’t always mention it, everyone on his care team could tell his headaches were more frequent, as well. Sadly, there wasn’t much they could do until a donor match was found.

Thor turned back in time to see Loki getting dizzy and grabbing for his cart of sponges.  The cart rolled out from his grasp, tipped over, and Loki ended up losing his balance, falling on his hands and knees in front of the canvas.  The sponges he’d been holding were squished against the tarp. Thor rushed to the door as the younger man pushed himself up, shakily, slamming the sponges into a bucket of colored water and beating on the canvas.  Loki roared in anger as Thor crashed through the door.

“No!” the raven-haired man yelled, turning a murderous gaze back at Thor.  He watched as Loki tried harder and harder to pull air into his lungs. Before he could protest any further, Thor calmly strode to Loki’s spot on the floor and kneeled down next to him.   He took Loki’s wrist, trying to get a reading on his racing pulse. The younger man grabbed for a clean sponge and dunked his hand into a clean bucket of water. He smashed the sponge against the top of his head for a cooling effect.

“You need to take a break, Loki.”  Thor’s voice was firm. He didn’t often use this tone with patients, but Loki seemed to need a dominant hand every so often, and Thor was never afraid to use it.  Loki snarled, turning his wild eyes at Thor and thrusting his flushed, panting face right up against his. When Loki was really into his work, he’d get into a kind of trance for his pieces.  Whatever it was, Loki hadn’t come out of it yet. The song screamed “I’m gonna make it” at the room as Loki attempted to make a break for it. Thor pulled Loki to him and wrapped his arms around his torso, pinning him down to keep him from his paints.  The slighter man dropped the sponge and continued to struggle and huff, kicking out at Thor.

“Let me go,” Loki panted, working an arm free from Thor’s grasp.  He pushed hard against Thor’s arm, but it, ultimately, didn’t budge.

“It’s time for a break,” Thor reiterated, listening to Loki’s breaths getting more and more ragged.  Loki had freed his other arm. “You need to calm your breathing, Loki. Your heart rate is too erratic right now.”  Loki’s hands dug into his hair and he stilled. Thor loosened his hold, taking one of his wrists again to monitor his heart rate.  He was trying to piece together why Loki had lashed out like this. Yes, he didn’t like to be disturbed when he was working, but it usually wasn’t a big deal. “Just try and match my breaths,” he guided him.  Then, it clicked. He’d entered Loki’s studio without so much as a ‘How do you do? May I come in?’ and it had likely triggered something for Loki’s OCD. Thor took a deep breath in and the raven-haired man followed suit.  He exhaled much quicker than Thor, however, and began mumbling “Everything’s in its place,” between his breaths. Thor stared at his watch as he counted. His heart rate had come down, but it was still all over the place.

“Loki, try and match my breaths, OK?” Thor asked again.  ‘ _How long has he been exerting himself?’_ Thor worried.  His rapid heart rate was a symptom of the anemia, but if Loki had been pushing himself for awhile, he needed to call someone else in to take a look at Loki.  Honestly, the music wasn’t helping to calm the situation, either. The emotionally charged song just kept blaring as they sat on the floor. “In,” he commanded.  The younger followed suit, but seemed to hold his breath after that. “Out, Loki,” Thor rumbled. The younger exhaled forcefully but took a rapid, gasping breath in straight after and put a hand over his heart.  “Loki,” Thor felt the pulse in his carotid artery, trusting the larger vein more than his wrist. It was still too irregular. Loki’s breaths were shallowing out, now, and he slumped against Thor. “Loki,” he shook the pale man in his arms, but got no response. 

“Shit…” Thor cursed, pulling Loki up into his arms and moving for the door.  There were plenty of reasons he could have passed out, and none of them Thor was really qualified to make the call on.  He carried him over to the hospital bed and placed Loki down on it, making sure to prop it up and add a few pillows behind his back to make it easier to breathe.  When he’d hooked Loki up to the heart monitor, he raced over to the phone to call over the intercom. “Paging Dr. Banner,” he called. “Room 120, stat.” He checked Loki’s numbers on the screen, glad to see they were coming down a little, then raced over to one of the cabinets and pulled out a disposable ice pack.  His heart was going a mile-a-minute, now, as he cracked the crystals inside the pack and mushed it around to activate it. He placed it on the back of Loki’s neck, hoping it was the best area for it. He could have gotten overheated, so Thor was trying preventative measures for that, as well. Two minutes later, Pam and Bruce rushed into the room.

“What’s going on?” he asked.  Pam went to turn the music off and picked up Loki’s chart from the floor.  Thor had forgotten dropping it in all the commotion.

“I don’t know how long he was exerting himself, but when I came in, he was working in the studio there.  He looked kinda winded, and a minute or so after I came in, he had a dizzy spell and went down. We tried calming his breaths, but he couldn’t get them under control and then he passed out.”  Dr. Banner went to look at the readout on the machine, then consulted Loki’s chart. Bruce did a few more checks before calling out a note for his chart.

“His heart’s fine,” he mumbled, looking Loki over.  Pam scribbled the incident down on a new sheet of paper.  Thor shifted back onto his heels, letting out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.  “Did he seem anxious?” Banner turned to look at Thor.

“His OCD may have gotten triggered from me walking into the space when he fell,” Thor replied, trying to control his fidgeting.  “But he was puffing before I even got in there.” Bruce hummed again, listening to Loki’s heart. He moved the ice pack from Loki’s neck to his feet.

“Can you bring me two more of these?” he asked.  Thor went and pulled them out, smushing them up and handing the packs over when they’d gotten cold.  Banner placed them on Loki’s cheeks. “We’re going to monitor for heat exhaustion, but I also want to add a dose of calcium channel blockers to his medications for tonight.”  Dr. Banner looked back at Pam as she made notes. “Tonight only,” he made sure.

“Of course.”  Pam nodded, writing down ‘10/12 only’ next to the medication.  Bruce watched Loki’s heart rate start to calm down and made another note.  “I’m going to leave a message for Eir to discuss with Loki. Pam, can you find some smelling salts?  If he’s having trouble when we wake him up, or if he doesn’t seem to rouse with the smelling salts, then I want some oxygen going for awhile.”

Pam nodded.  “Of course.”

“Alright.  Thor, hold down the fort while we’re gone.”  Dr. Banner gave him a calm smile, and Thor felt a little of the tension drain from him.  He smiled back.

“Of course.”  The two cleared the room, and Thor began to pace.  It wasn’t too serious, he reminded himself, or there would have been a lot more activity going on.  So why did his heart ache the way it did? He’d been in a lot of dire situations with patients; worked in the emergency ward quite frequently, back in the day.  Yet when Loki went down, it was the scariest thing he’d experienced in a long time. Thor stared down at the man who had come to mean so much to him. When he’d gotten Loki to finally open up and get out of his studio, it was like turning a new leaf.  Staying late, or visiting early to listen to Loki read to him had become a highlight of his day. Thor wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep his feelings to himself, and staring down at Loki’s unconscious form, it felt like the ground was slipping from under him.  Loki opened his eyes, then, and a quiet sob escaped Thor’s lips. He caught himself on the rails to Loki’s bed, watching his chest continue to rise and fall.

“Thor?” Loki spoke, in a small voice.  “What’s happened?” he asked, sounding scared.  Thor grasped the sides of Loki’s face in his large hands and placed a desperate kiss to his lips.  His cheeks were cold from the ice packs, but Thor didn’t care. The pale man’s eyes flew wide open, and his hands reached up to grab hold of Thor’s wrists.  He hadn’t quite expected it, but Thor felt Loki return his affection with the same fervor and desperation that he’d poured into it. Loki opened his mouth to deepen the kiss and Thor couldn’t help himself.  He blew a deep breath into Loki’s mouth, just like he’d do for CPR, and felt comforted by the brief expansion of his chest. Loki closed his eyes and it was just a tangle of teeth and tongues and soft sighs between them.  When they broke apart, Loki looked flushed all over again and his breathing was ragged. Thor watched as the heart monitor spiked and dipped as Loki’s body calmed down. He still wasn’t sure he could speak to what had happened in the little studio, but as Pam re-entered the room, Thor’s smile couldn’t have been any brighter.

***

That next day had been awkward.  Thor came into the room with his metaphorical tail between his legs, feeling like he should apologize for breaking the moral code of nursing and shoving his tongue down Loki’s throat, but when he found the younger man in his study, he held up a book of poetry to read.  Petronius. He read only two poems to him, the both of them blushing all the while, and then Loki gave him a pointed look, willing him to ruin the moment.

  
_  
_

_ Good God, what a night that was, _

_ The bed so soft, and how we clung, _

_ Burning together, lying this way and that, _

_ Our uncontrollable passions _

_ Flowing through our mouths. _

_ If I could only die that way, _

_ I’d say goodbye to the business of living. _

*

_ Doing, a filthy pleasure is, and short; _

_ And done, we straight repent us of the sport; _

_ Let us not then rush blindly on unto it, _

_ Like lustful beasts, that only know to do it: _

_ For lust will languish, and that heat decay. _

_ But thus, thus, keeping endless holiday, _

_ Let us together closely lie and kiss, _

_ There is no labour, nor shame in this; _

_ This hath pleased, doth please, and long will please; never _

_ Can this decay, but is beginning ever. _ _  
_

 

So he’d said nothing.  He’d gotten up from his cozy armchair to loom over Loki, pressing his hands into the cool leather—one on the arm, another on the back—so he could lean over and stroke his lips against Loki’s; gentle caresses to coax the fires that had stirred between them.  Loki had reached up and ripped Thor’s hair out from the bun he’d put it in that morning and grabbed fistfuls of his flaxen locks, digging his fingers along Thor’s scalp in a soothing, massaging motion. And before things got too out of hand, they broke apart, panting and shaky and smiling like they’d just eaten the last two cookies from the cookie jar. 

That afternoon, there’d been a terrible row between Loki and Laufey.  It was only Thor’s third time meeting the man, and it was to play the muscle in the room between father and son.  Apparently, Laufey had master keys to the rooms in the suite and had locked the studio. Loki blew a gasket.

“This is my career!” he shouted.  “How can you take this away when I have paintings to finish?” 

Laufey shouted right back, “You’re in a hospital, for gods’ sakes!  You’re supposed to be resting!” The ‘and getting better,’ went unsaid as the two stared at each other with angry, watery eyes.  Both were hurting, and neither wanted to talk about it. So they called the professionals in. Bruce agreed with Laufey. Last night had been too much for Loki’s body to handle and recommended he take a few weeks off to let his body heal.  Loki had balked at that. Thor was immensely grateful that Eir was also in attendance. She had everyone sit down and it was all discussed calmly and rationally; each person getting their own turn. Clinical. Efficient. A compromise was struck, and everyone filed out, save father and son.  When Thor gave a quick glance back, Laufey had wrapped Loki up in a crushing embrace.

***

Loki gave him a questioning look as Thor stared at him.  They were in the studio again, today being the first day it was unlocked, full time, since the incident a month ago.  “Just remembering the last time I saw you and your dad together,” he smirked. Loki rolled his eyes. Jane had been entrusted with the key to unlock everything, and Darcy had been there, of course, for the “great reveal,” as she’d called it.  The two had hit it off immediately. Thor’s task today was simple: watch Loki. He’d nearly tripped when Jane first asked him.

“What do you mean?” he’d asked.

“We need to know how long it takes before he starts getting overexerted while he works.  Evelyn and Pam both volunteered you.” He’d almost protested, not wanting to give anything away, but that would have seemed suspicious.

“Alright.  How far in do you want to measure?” he’d asked.  Jane had thought on it for a few moments.

“Mark when he starts to show some signs of exertion, but keep monitoring until you feel he should stop.”  Thor had nodded. “I’ll page you when he plans to work.”

***

 

That was exactly what Jane did, and now he was sitting on a stool in Loki’s studio, watching the man set everything up so he could begin.  The last three weeks had been nerve-wracking for Thor. He was always worried they’d be found out or caught. Despite all that, he wouldn’t trade his time with Loki for anything.  He knew the man was intelligent. What Thor hadn’t caught on to was his deep commitment to learning. Loki always had a new fact for him whenever Thor arrived. And it wasn’t like the Snapple facts you found on the underside of the cap.  These facts were well thought out and were more than just a sentence meant to tease you into guessing what the right answer was. Lately, Loki had taken to teaching himself ancient Greek, because he wanted to read some original source texts.  Just because he was curious. When Thor would come in, he’d tell him a little more about what he’d learned that day. And did Thor know that Yoda’s speech patterns in Star Wars were based off of the way Ancient Greeks worded their sentences? He didn’t.  But he did now.

The younger man enriched his life in ways he never would have guessed.  Thor would tell him about his weekends out with Sif and Fandral, his days at the VFW, the silly things he got up to with his co-workers.  It was always a story he came up with for Loki. Something the young man could hold on to and imagine for himself, being so cooped up as he was.  It made it easier for Thor to re-engage with society. He would look into new things to do on the weekend, just so he could have something exciting to tell Loki.  After a little while, it wasn’t hard to get out and try new things. And he’d tell Loki about that, as well. The raven-haired man would smile and cup his cheek and kiss his forehead.  It was a little silly, but it made Thor feel safe and appreciated. Then he would wrap Loki up in his big arms and tell him how amazing he was, how brave, how well he was handling things.  The younger man didn’t always love it, but he always let Thor say it. On days when Loki’s OCD seemed to hold him captive, he would come up with little quizzes to distract him. Ask questions about things he was curious about, just to see what Loki knew on the subject.  Most of all, he was just there with him, when he could get away with it outside his working hours, and when it was appropriate during them.

Today was one of those days where Loki’s brain was on the fence about cooperating with what he wanted to do, and a loud scrape across the floor broke Thor from his reverie.  “What are you doing?” Thor asked, getting up off the stool and putting his notepad down.

“I’m tired of people seeing in,” he grumbled, trying to drag one of his large canvases over to cover the glass walls.

“Ok,” Thor soothed, steering Loki away from the canvas.  “Let me move it for you,” he told him, carefully lifting the painting.  Loki fretted over it for a few moments before giving up and nodding at Thor.  He directed him over to the wall of glass and asked him to lean one against one of the panels and another against the panel next to it.  Thor complied easily.

“Do you want some against the other wall?” he asked.  They could be completely surrounded by Loki’s bright colors and imaginings, if he wanted, and the idea sounded kinda cozy to Thor.  The younger man made a small distressed sound in the back of his throat before answering.

“No.”  He looked over to the wall of windows.  “I want to be able to see into the studio from the room,” he confessed.  Thor nodded and sat back down on the stool, giving Loki his space. He didn’t want to make himself any more noticeable than he already was, knowing how Loki preferred to work alone.  It was a rare treat to watch him set out his paints, mix the colors he wanted, and prepare the canvas in front of him. Loki working was a sight Thor never wanted to miss, but it didn’t mean he forgot what he was there for.  He wrote down the time Loki started working and started a stopwatch he’d brought in, just in case. When he was ready, Loki switched off the soft classical music he’d had on and picked a song to start his shuffle. Thor almost choked when the Pussycat Dolls’ song ‘When I Grow Up’ came blaring over the speakers.  Loki went to work, and Thor smirked. _‘So, it’s that kind of a day, is it?’_ he smiled. 

Loki had actually brought out a few tools to use this time, when putting the paint on his canvas.  He’d told Thor he preferred the use of his hands when he painted, but sometimes he liked to switch it up.  He watched the brightly colored specs hit the white canvas and kept his eye on Loki’s energy levels. He’d insisted on a heart rate monitor, so they had some baseline numbers to go on, and Loki had reluctantly agreed.  He found it annoying to strap to himself, but understood it wasn’t up for negotiation. If he wanted to keep painting while he was here, he needed to be monitored differently than he’d been in the past. Dr. Banner didn’t want to take any more chances, so he’d come up with a monitoring plan that everyone had agreed to.

A wet smack sounded around the room as Loki placed a full palm full of paint on the canvas.  The sound went straight to his groin and Thor swallowed. How did Loki always do this to him?  It was like everything he did was made to drive Thor crazy or fall even harder for the raven-haired man.  The monitor drew Thor’s attention away from Loki, letting him know it was picking up the younger man’s heart rate and working properly.  It helped refocus Thor on his task. He wrote the beats per minute next to the time they started, then got lost in Loki’s graceful body once again. 

Thor had told him the first time he’d snuck into his room after work. He’d really just wanted to cuddle up in bed with Loki and whisper reassurances in his ear; that Thor had liked him from the first moment he’d seen him; that he didn’t ever want Loki to feel weird that he was also a nurse on his care team; how well he was doing managing his symptoms; what things would be like when Loki had gotten his transplant.  It was all rather silly, and he didn’t know if it was comforting for Loki at all, but it made Thor feel better to tell him these things. If nothing else, Loki understood that. He quit trying to tell Thor to stop after the first few minutes and laid there, blushing and pouting and looking flushed and sexy, as usual. And Loki had cupped his cheek in his long, slender hand and placed a kiss to Thor’s forehead. That one night had started it all, for Thor.  That one gesture and he was gone. He couldn’t imagine anyone else being more perfect for him than the surly, stressed man in front of him.

 

***

 

The heart rate monitor beeped again, alerting Thor to a big enough change.  He noted the time and the new BPM, then wrote how Loki seemed with the elevated heart rate.  “Loki,” he spoke loud enough to be heard, but with a calm, even tone. The younger man turned around to stare back at Thor.  He could tell he was annoyed at being interrupted, but willing to listen. “If you want to keep working for a little while longer, I’d slow things down,” he cautioned.  “Otherwise, we need to stop in five to ten minutes.” Loki’s eyes narrowed, but then he rolled his eyes and took a deep breath in. He gave himself a minute to work on his heart rate before returning back to his work.  Thor wrote down the recommendation he’d made and the change in pace Loki was working at.

Twenty minutes later, Loki was sweaty and panting as Thor helped him wash the paint off his hands in the sink the studio somehow had.  He wasn’t sure why they had originally decided to put it in there, but there it was. “I still had more to do,” Loki panted, wanting to make it clear this wasn’t his idea to stop.

“I know,” Thor replied, trying to be soothing.  It was beginning to grate on his nerves how easily Loki would sacrifice his health for his art.  “But sometimes, when we’re sick, we have to do things we don’t want to do. It’s part of staying healthy.”  Loki let out a loud snort.

“Really?  Do you tell that to all your patients, or just the particularly stubborn ones?”  Thor smiled and leaned his forehead against Loki’s shoulder.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.  “I know you wish things weren’t this way, but you really shouldn’t push your body too much.”  Loki laughed, turning to look at Thor with a challenge flashing in his eyes.

And that was—kinda sorta (not really)—how he’d ended up kneeling on the floor, hugging Loki’s back tightly to his chest, as they faced the paintings currently shielding them from being seen by anyone outside the studio.  He was stroking Loki’s hair with one hand while stroking his cock with the other; one of Loki’s hands was trapped between their bodies, stroking Thor’s own cock, and he was ready to burst. ‘When You’re Good to Mama,’ from the musical Chicago, was playing loud and lewd over the speakers, almost making Thor laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.  He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned his forehead against the top of Loki’s head.

“Hnnn…hnnn…”  His lovely little artist was writhing around in his grip, well on his way to his own climax and certainly not paying any attention to the music, or what his body was doing to Thor.  He found it incredibly sexy the way Loki fell apart like this, and he groaned loudly as Loki circled his slit, spreading his precum around. They’d masturbated together for the first time just last week.  Thor had come in early for a night shift and Loki had pulled him into his private bedroom, dragging him down onto the mattress. It had been slow and sweet. Thor had cried.

“Hah…aaaahhh!”  Loki’s hips snapped forward as Thor’s thumb traced lightly over the bottom edge of his glans.  “Thor!!” Loki smacked a palm against the arm that was stroking his hair and held on tightly. He was still making little hitching noises in his throat as he struggled to take a deep breath in, amidst all the sensations.  Thor’s hands on him, his mouth placing soft kisses along his back. “Thor,” he panted, moving his hand along Thor’s cock in a fast, irregular rhythm. He had to stop himself from biting down on Loki’s skin, not needing to find out what it would do combined with his anemia.  He bit down on his own tongue instead. “Thor…Thor…” Loki’s head shook back and forth against his shoulder as he chuckled in Loki’s ear. “Thor!” Loki was slapping his arm, now, his eyes wide and wild. When they rolled towards the back of his head, Loki gave one last, breathy, “Ah-haaaaaahh!” and blinked rapidly as stripes of white burst from his cock.  This also caused a chain reaction for Thor. Loki orgasming was probably the hottest thing he’d ever see, and with Loki’s hand stuttering and squeezing Thor’s length as he rode out his orgasm, Thor found his own completion with a deep moan of relief. Queen Latifah was saying “Yeah!” as Loki turned his pink face to stare at Thor with glassy eyes, drawing deep breaths into his lungs.  Thor was breathing right along with him, glad to hear things evening out between the both of them. When they’d both come back to themselves more, Loki asked, “Did Queen Latifah just applaud you for your orgasm?” Thor laughed and Loki smirked, placing a kiss at the corner of Thor’s lips.

“I’m glad you noticed,” Thor winked, helping Loki to sit back on the floor and getting up to grab something to clean themselves up with from his cart.  “But you were supposed to be resting after painting.” Thor chewed his lip, unsure if he should be feeling guilty or not.

“That was a great rest,” Loki pouted.  Thor handed him a wipe and tucked Loki back into his pants when he’d finished with it, placing a kiss on his temple.  As Thor was cleaning his own mess, Loki stared out over his paintings and gave a small gasp. “No…. I forgot I was trying to warn you earlier!” he fretted, crawling over to the painting that sat on the floor.

“What’s wrong?” Thor replied.  Loki got up, slowly, to grab a dry rag from his stash and went back to sitting in front of the painting.  “This is what happens when you jerk off too close to the paintings,” he mumbled, blushing furiously as he wiped some of his own spend off the colorful canvas.

“Sorry,” Thor whispered, going to throw their wipes in a trash bag.  He’d been the one to ask if they could look at Loki’s paintings while they enjoyed each other, and the younger man had willingly agreed, seeming touched that Thor liked his work so much.

“No, no…” Loki waved Thor off.  “It’s just embarrassing,” he told him.  “The painting might need a smidge of a touch up, but it’s mostly the ick factor.  I mean…this is supposed to be sold to someone to hang on their wall……. It’s weird that they’d have my spunk hanging up there for all eternity…”  His lips turned down in a tight, thin line as he finished wiping up the mess they’d made. Thor didn’t mean to laugh. He really didn’t. What Loki had said made total sense.  But it came out anyways, and the pale man shot him a dirty look. “Just for that, I’m going to make a painting just to have you cum all over it and hang it up for everyone to see,” he retorted, sticking out his tongue. 

Thor wasn’t laughing any longer.  He was turned on thinking about it.  Loki making something for him sounded nice.  Marking it with his seed and having Loki hang it up seemed weird, but exciting at the same time.  No one else would know...a secret the two of them would share. It was so lewd, Thor would surely die from embarrassment if anyone found out.  He watched the pale man as he leaned back on his elbows, his energy seeming to flag. “I could do that…” Thor mumbled, looking over at Loki through his lashes.  Loki’s face turned red as a tomato.

“Wh…wh…”  He gawked at Thor.

“Would you like that?” he asked, feeling a little worked up over it.  His own face flushed as he smiled, thinking about it. Loki chewed his lip before laying on the ground.  He swallowed, then stared over at Thor.

“I think I’d like you to take me to bed, now,” he groaned.  Thor smirked and went to help Loki to his feet.

“How are you feeling?” Thor asked, remembering he had a job to do.

“Tired,” Loki grumped.  “My lungs hurt...” He linked his arm with Thor’s as they started to walk towards the door of the studio.  “And I want another orgasm,” he whined. Thor laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I teased you all enough. ;) Some actual porn-y bits in this chapter. This is the first time I've ever written smut for a fic, so I hope it's good. :) 
> 
>  
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ktspree13) if you'd like to chat. :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh...I just remembered where I ended this chapter. :P Y'all are gonna hate me, but you'll just have to deal. :P <3 <3 <3 This bit was FUN to write! :) I really hope you enjoy.

He almost couldn’t believe his luck.  Thor had requested some time off for Thanksgiving—almost a week—and he couldn’t believe it had been approved.  His mother sounded quite sad on the phone, lately, and it was time he went back to visit them. Thor had lived in the same small town of Woodbridge, VA his entire life.  It was near Alexandria and D.C., and had kept his father, a naval architect, happily busy these past 35 years. Odin turned 68 this year and had officially called it quits on his career.  Both Thor and Frigga had been ecstatic.

           Thor dialed up his mother to give her the happy news and was surprised to get her voicemail.  “Hey Mom, it’s me, your son. I’m about to head out for the night, but I wanted you to know I have a full five days off for Thanksgiving.  So you’ll be seeing my ugly mug for a little while, this time,” he joked. “Alright, well, I love you, and give me a call back when you get a chance.  Thanks, Mom.” He hung up, wondering what kind of trouble his mother was getting up to now. His parents had actually led pretty interesting lives, Thor thought.  When he’d gone off to college, Frigga had volunteered at a lot of local non-profits and eventually gave her time as a teacher’s aide at a nearby school. Most impressive of all, though, was when she’d joined the Peace Corps four years back, dragging Odin along with her.  Their post had been up back in June and Thor could tell his mother missed it.

           She’d call when she had the chance, to tell Thor about all the things they were doing, but his father’s health wasn’t what it used to be and his mother had been too worried to consider another two years.  It had been great being able to see them again. He’d taken a bit of time off work, made sure their house was ready for them to move right back into, and then spent a few days catching up and enjoying his parents’ company.  This had been just before Loki’s OCD had taken a nosedive, and he now knew it was partially because he thought Thor was off his transplant team. It had been a big confession for Loki, and he admitted Thor was a grounding presence for him.  He didn’t know how he did it, exactly, but Loki mentioned it a lot, now. “You’re very grounding, Thor,” he’d say, stroking Thor’s cheek when they were alone. He would just smile back and place a chaste kiss on Loki’s temple, or cheek, or the top of his head sometimes.  It was always good to know Loki’s thoughts, and to know how his presence was a positive influence. It made him feel good about himself. He had a purpose in Loki’s life that no one else was filling. Now that he was going away again, he planned to tell Loki, so he wouldn’t be surprised.  He also wanted to ask if it was OK to tell his parents, and maybe his friends, about the two of them.

           He’d already clocked out and changed out of his scrubs as he walked into Loki’s room.  Thor found him reading, almost dozing, in the study. With his condition continuing to decline, the energy Loki had to stay awake was dwindling.  The slighter man perked up a little when he saw Thor. “Hey,” Thor said, bending over and placing a kiss to his temple. “What’re you working on?”  Loki gave him a sleepy smile as he wound his arms around Thor’s neck and just breathed in for a minute.

           “Much Ado About Nothing,” he smiled.  “Beatrice is such a badass bitch,” he yawned, letting Thor go.  Thor smiled, sitting on the arm of the chair.

           “My schedule for next week just came out, and I have the whole week of Thanksgiving off.”  Loki’s face lit up for a moment before he looked back at his book with a frown. Whether it was because he’d guessed Thor was leaving, or because he knew, even with the time off, he couldn’t actually spend any more time with Thor, he wasn’t sure.  “I wanted to let you know I’d be going to visit my parents for the week.” Thor smiled down at him. He was sad he couldn’t spend more time with Loki, or bring him with for the holidays, but he was determined not to make the sleepy man next to him feel the same way about it.  When Loki said nothing, he went on. “My mom’s been a little down lately, so I’m glad I have the extra time to spend with her,” he sighed, draping himself along the back of Loki’s chair, essentially over the slighter man’s shoulders, as well. Loki tilted his head to look at him.

           “What’s going on with her?” he asked him.  Thor shrugged his shoulders.

           “I think she’s missing all the activity she had in the Peace Corps.  But I’m not entirely sure. She’s been hard to get on the phone, lately.”  Loki reached a hand over to scratch along his scalp, and Thor groaned.

           “I wish I had some good advice for this, but I don’t have many solutions.  If I don’t have anything to do, well...let’s just say you’ll know.” Loki chuckled.  “I’m pretty much climbing the walls until something blows up, or I start a new project.”  Thor’s mouth dropped open a little. “So, I can understand how your mom might be feeling, and I hope she figures out her next project before something blows up.”  He winked and Thor laughed, kissing his temple again.

           “I’ll make sure to suggest it,” he replied, sitting up on the arm of the chair again.  “So, I leave on Sunday, and I’ll be back at work the Saturday after Thanksgiving.”

           Loki waved a hand at him, effectively pushing him off the chair.  “Alright, alright, your highness,” he pouted. Thor smirked and got up.  This seemed to be a motion Loki used when he was feeling a little vulnerable and Thor was crowding him too much.  He sat in the cloth chair across from Loki and blew a kiss at him. The pale man rolled his eyes, but Thor could see the slight blush on his face.  “I’ll miss you,” he mumbled.

           “I know,” Thor said softly.  “I’ll miss you, too.” Thor closed his eyes, steeling himself for the next thing he wanted to ask Loki.  “I have a question, though,” he said, opening his eyes again so he could see Loki’s reaction. Loki put his book down to give Thor his full attention.

           “Alright,” he smirked.

           “I was wondering if I could tell people about us,” Thor stammered, almost tripping over his words.  Loki gave him a blank look. “I mean, just my parents, maybe, and Sif. And, well...some of my other friends know I’ve been into you for awhile, but I’ve never told them your name, or anything, and I just thought maybe it would be–”  Loki held up a hand for Thor to stop. He had been babbling a little. He watched as Loki heaved himself up from his leather throne and walked slowly over to Thor’s smaller seat. The younger man sunk himself onto Thor’s lap, placed a hand on his cheek, and kissed his forehead.  Thor bit his lip.

           “Yes,” Loki whispered.  Thor’s heart beat faster, excited about the prospect of finally being able to share a little more about the incredible man in front of him, and also excited he had him in his lap.

           “Are you sure?” Thor questioned, not wanting Loki to feel pressured or forced to be agreeable.  “Because I–” Loki put a finger on Thor’s lip to silence him.

           “Yes, Thor.  I don’t mind if you tell people.  Just, nothing too sensitive, OK?” Thor nodded mutely as Loki framed his face with his hands and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

           “I may have to shout it from my rooftop tonight,” he whispered back, unsure if he was being serious or not.  Loki rolled his eyes at him.

           “Just don’t put it on a t-shirt, hey?”  He poked Thor in his chest.

           “I’ll try my best,” he snickered, placing a cross over his heart.  “Thank you,” Thor smiled, pulling Loki in for another kiss. This one wasn’t so chaste, and when they pulled apart, they were both a little out of breath.

           “Just FYI,” Loki played with the hem of his shirt before looking Thor in the eye,  “Darcy already knows,” he winked. Thor groaned as Loki laid himself contentedly on top of him, like a cat claiming a new spot in a house.  It was going to be a long holiday away.

***

When he’d arrived at the Ronald Regan National Airport, his parents had been waiting for him at baggage claim.  It warmed his heart to see the two of them again, and his mom seemed to be vibrating in place, excited to see him, or having exciting news to share, he wasn’t sure.  He hurried over, hugging them both and laughing when his mother started bouncing up and down in his embrace

           “I have something so exciting to show you,” she told him.  Thor laughed.

           “Well hello to you too.”  He kissed her cheek and let her go.  “What is it?” He watched his dad grumble next to him.

           “She’s decided not to tell you.  Save the suspense and just bring you to the surprise,” he sighed.  They’d apparently been discussing this for a little while, his mother finally making her decision, much to his dad’s apparent exasperation.

           “Yes, yes, I want it to be a surprise, so we’ll all just have to wait.”  Frigga ushered them towards the doors, Thor not having a bag to claim. “And I don’t want to hear any grumblings about it,” she reminded Odin.  He cleared his throat and hid a smile. Thor shook his head at the two of them. Retired and still feisty as ever. He hoped to have that same kind of energy when he was older.  It was a 40 minute drive from the airport to Woodbridge. He wasn’t sure if his mom would make it. As they walked out of the airport, he slung his arm around his dad’s shoulders.

           “What have you been up to, then?” he asked.  “Did you buy those slippers with the lights on them yet?”  Odin let out a loud guffaw.

           “I’m old, son.  Not dead.” He grinned and elbowed Thor in the side.  Thor laughed along with him.

           “Well, I know what I’m getting you both for Christmas,” he said.  Frigga slung an arm around Thor’s waist.

           “We’ll wear them with pride,” she joshed with him.  Thor put an arm around her waist in return.  It was good to see them; good to be home again.

           “I missed you both,” he smiled.  “You really should come out to Chicago to visit.  It’s been a year, now, and I’ve found some great places to take you guys to.”  His parents shared a look around him and Thor shook his head. Fully fledged adult and his parents still had private conversations around him like when he was a kid.  It was Odin to speak up this time.

           “Yes,” he agreed, as they all disentangled from each other.  “We were thinking it would be...fun...to surprise you, but it’s probably best to plan a trip out, so you can let us know what works with your hours at the hospital.”  His mother smiled at him guiltily. They’d tried surprising him two other times in the past and both hadn’t turned out quite so well. The first time, Thor had been working nights, and was near sleep deprived their whole visit, trying to see them and work at the same time.  The second time he’d been packing up to ship out again and they’d had to cut their trip short when he left for Iraq. Still, his mom liked to try and surprise him. She loved surprises and wanted other people to feel the same joy that she got whenever they happened.

           Odin, on the other hand, much preferred a planned trip.  Itineraries, schedules, planned stops. It had made vacationing interesting.  He still remembered his eighth grade spring break trip. His father made an entire plan for a trip to Charleston, where his mother had asked to go, and on their way there, all she’d said was “surprise,” and his father was groaning as she turned away from Charleston and took them to Nashville instead.  It had been a great trip, and his mom had planned out paces to stay and had a few things for them to see, but it certainly wasn’t what his dad had had in mind. But he learned to roll with it, and it kept things interesting in their lives. He never said anything to Thor, but there were still moments where he’d see his dad look over at Frigga and think, ‘what did I ever do to deserve you?’ and smile that little private smile he got sometimes.

           They’d made it to the car, Thor slinging his rucksack into the back.  He’d never gotten around to buying a regular suitcase and was so used to living out of his military bag, he figured it was a lost cause by now.  Shoes, socks, pants, underwear, shirts, toiletries, cinch the top and he was ready to head out. “Why don’t you guys come for Christmas time?” he asked.  “Chicago is really beautiful around Christmas, and I’d love to have you out for a few weeks,” he hinted. He likely couldn’t get too much time off from work, but if they stayed for a few weeks, it would feel like plenty of time for a visit.  They’d get time to explore the city on their own, and he could take them to some of his favorite places when he was off. Fandral would have a blast showing them around, too, and it made him chuckle thinking about it. “Fandral would honestly take you guys all around the city when I’m working.”  Thor pulled his phone out. He’d recently gotten a phone number from Loki that he could text, and it had made leaving so much easier for him. Phones weren’t allowed in many areas of the hospital, but if the patient wasn’t on any major medical equipment, it was their choice if they wanted to use them in their rooms or not.  Thor hadn’t seen him using it before, but when he’d caught sight of the phone, he’d leaped at the chance to be able to communicate outside the hospital. Many text sessions had occurred since Loki had given over his digits. He sent a quick text: ‘Made it in safe and sound. Parents just as crazy as always. How are you?’ along with a winky face.  His mother had stared back at him in the rearview mirror, as she drove them away from the airport.

           “Texting someone important?” she asked, curious.  Thor gave her a guilty look.

           “Maybe,” he blushed.

           “Oh?”  Odin turned around to look at him.  “Is it Fandral? You talk about that boy almost as much as Sif, and I know that’s a dead end already.”  Thor groaned.

           “No.  Sif and Fandral are actually…I don’t know…dating maybe?  Anyways, no. Fandral is my neighbor, and a good friend.”  Thor pouted. His parents had always been supportive of his choices, but he still found it embarrassing to be grilled about who he might be dating at any one point in time.  “And before you ask, it’s not Steve, either.” Frigga hit Odin’s arm lightly, in a slight admonishment, to get him to turn around. It almost seemed like she already knew. “We can talk about it tonight, OK?” he asked.  He wanted to break this particular news to them after a nice dinner, when they were content and relaxed enough to accept that he was dating someone who could easily cost him his job.

           “Of course, sweetheart,” he mother crooned, giving him a knowing smile.  Really, she needed to stop with the clairvoyance.

           “What?  No… We can’t talk about your mother’s surprise, and you won’t talk about your surprise.  Really, what can we talk about?” Odin grumped from the front seat.

           “How about your health?” Thor suggested.  Odin pretended to have a tickle in his throat, just then, and Thor rolled his eyes.  “Mom?” he asked. Frigga seemed almost unwilling to talk, as well. Really, what was going on?

           “Oh, you know, honey,” she gave him a pained smile.  “About the same. The doctors have a new heart medication for him.  We’re doing the whole heart-healthy diet. They might recommend seeing a specialist in a few months.”  Thor frowned. It wasn’t like his parents to be so secretive. He added it to the list of things to talk about later, hoping they’d be more amenable to the discussion.  His mom was a whole ten years younger than his father, and it had never been more noticeable until just recently. His phone chimed, then, and Thor picked it up quickly when he noticed it was a text back from Loki.  He opened it up. _‘Oh God…’_  Before he’d had much of a chance to process what he was looking at, the phone flew out of his hands.   _‘That is a lot of skin to be looking at in the car with my parents,’_ he fretted, searching feverishly for his phone.

           “What is going on back there?” Odin squawked, listening to Thor silently cursing to himself, trying to find the phone.  His dad turned around to see it face down on the floor near him. “Is somebody dying?” he griped, going to grab the phone to hand to Thor.  Thor looked up and before Odin even had a hand on it, he snatched it up and turned the screen off.

           “No!” he protested.  His face was beet red.

           “33 years old and still acting like a child,” his dad grumbled.  Odin let it go, to his relief, and Thor opened the message back up again.  It was a beautiful shot of Loki lying in bed, his hair spread all over the pillow, half naked and groping one of his pecs.  His face was flushed as he bit his lip for the camera. His eyes were dark and glossy, like he’d just had his other hand down his pants.  The caption below it said, ‘I miss you, bae.’

           Thor swallowed, then typed back with shaky fingers.  ‘You’re evil. My dad almost got an eyeful of you.’ Another message came in a minute later.

           ‘Sorry.  Told you things blow up when I’m bored.’  There was a winky face next to that and Thor shook his head.  This seemed like a precursor to the real mischief Loki seemed to enjoy getting into, if the few stories he’d told were anything to go by.

           ‘You’re not sorry at all, are you?’ he wrote back.

           ‘Nope.’ was the instant return.  Thor sent back a kiss face before he put the phone away, feeling a little rude.

           “Sorry,” he told his dad.  “Didn’t mean to get all crazy about the phone,” he laughed, scratching the back of his neck.

           “Don’t worry about it,” Odin waved him off.

***

When they’d gotten to Woodbridge, his father chimed in again.  “You know, I know what this is that we’re headed to, but she’s refused to show it to me until you came into town.”  Thor laughed.

           “Really, mom?” he smirked at her as she smiled back at him.

           “Of course!  This is too big not to share it with you both together,” she insisted, pulling down a street Thor was quite familiar with.  It was the road to Young’s Nursery, a place he’d been coming to with his parents for almost as long as he could remember. If there was one thing Frigga loved to do, it was garden.  She’d been at it most his life, and the landscaping at their house was proof positive of her love for it.

           “No…” Odin gasped.  Thor was getting antsy, listening in.  “Frig...you didn’t!” he smiled, looking over at her.

           “What’s going on?” he butted in, feeling five years old again, wanting to stick his head up in the front, between his parents, and hear what was happening.  When they’d parked in front of the nursery, his question was answered. Thor hopped out of the minivan, Odin not far behind him, and they stared up at the sign.  

 

_VANAHEIM PLANTS_

 

           The bold, cursive script stared back at Thor as he broke out into a wide smile.  Since he was a little boy, his mother had told him old Norse stories she’d grown up on.  Tales of the nine different realms. Of gods and Asgard. In all these, his mother’s favorite tales all spoke of Vanaheim.  “Someday, I’ll take you to Vanaheim,” she’d tell him. “The flowers will always be blooming, there will be nothing but nature, and we’ll hide in the tall trees, far from the ground where anyone, or any of our responsibilities, will find us!”  

           When he was little, she’d tickle him afterwards until he cried uncle and she’d tuck him into bed.  The older he got, the more it became just a little way to say, it’s terrible here, let’s forget what we have to do and do something fun.  Like Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. His mother didn’t want to move to Australia, she wanted to be on Vanaheim.  “Let’s just go. We’ll go to Vanaheim today. Are you ready?” She used to ask him that all throughout college, when he was studying and having no fun.  She asked him that when he was doing his residency at the long-term care facility. She even said it now, if they were both having a bad day. Now here it was, in the flesh.  His mother could finally pack up and move to Vanaheim, when she felt like it. He stared over at her, trying not to get all weepy, but he couldn’t help it. His eyes watered as he looked at her excited face.

           “I finally get to go to Vanaheim,” he half laughed, half sobbed, wiping the tears away from his eyes.  Odin wasn’t much better next to him.

           “Oh, you boys…” she shushed them.  “Stop it, or you’ll make me cry!” There they were, at the old Young’s Nursery, wrapping Frigga up in giant hugs, and congratulating her on her new venture.  When they’d gotten themselves under control, she dragged them towards the doors to give them the full tour.

 

***

 

Just before dinner, he shot a quick text to Loki.  ‘I’m telling them after dinner tonight. Wish me luck?’  He typed a kissy face. ‘How are you?’ Loki responded quickly.

           ‘Evelyn’s sponge baths aren’t nearly as nice as yours, and Pam yelled at me to quit with the painting,’ along with a crying emoji.  Thor felt for him. Somehow, he’d been given most of the responsibility of checking in on Loki. Whether it was something the younger man had mentioned, or his co-workers just thinking he was a better fit, Thor wasn’t sure.  Another message came through before he could respond. ‘The sponge bath thing was a joke. Don’t freak out. I’m doing OK. Good day today, and Pam was only a little mean...because I pushed myself a little too hard.’ He’d attached one of those grimacing smileys with the sweatdrop in the corner.

           Thor wrote back with an angry face emoji.  ‘Well, I think you deserved that, then. You have to be careful.  I refuse to come back to a broken boyfriend.’

           ‘Too late…’  Loki sent that and a picture of his arm in a cast, which had not been there in his earlier picture.  What was going on? The only thing he could think was Loki had fallen again while he’d been painting, and broken something.  He’d likely be locked out of the studio for good, if that was the case.

           ‘WHAT?????’ he typed back immediately.  All he got in response was the emoji faces that were laughing so hard they were crying.  He wanted to throw the phone down, he was so angry. A joke, clearly. Some photo Loki had taken off the internet.

           ‘I’m sorry…’ was the next text.  ‘Really, that wasn’t funny…’ More cry/laugh faces.  ‘It wasn’t.’ Thor pouted. Loki was quite a different person over text.  On one hand, it was fun and amusing to get to see another side of him. On another hand, it was annoying and frustrating to get all these shocking texts from him.  He was still trying to calm down when another text came through. ‘Are you mad?’ _‘Yes.’_ he thought to himself.  But he wasn’t going to write that to Loki.  He had warned Thor that he went a little stir crazy when he got bored.  And hospitals were notorious for fostering boredom. He didn’t want to outright lie, so he sent a photo.  His brows furrowed, but cheeks puffed out. He looked like a pouting child, comical and ridiculous, but it sent the message.  He pressed send and sighed. What was he getting himself into? Loki wrote back not long after. ‘Sorry. It was funny, but not funny enough to stress you out.’

           ‘It’s OK,’ he told him.  ‘I think I’m just extra sensitive right now.  It’s been a long day.’ He sent a photo of the nursery to Loki, wanting to share the news.  ‘My mom found a new project,’ he typed. ‘She’s opening her own garden center.’

           ‘Cool name!’ Loki wrote back.  ‘Anything like the actual Vanaheim in the stories?’  He sent a smiley. Thor sent another photo of some of the landscaped areas.

           ‘Just like.’  He smiled, looking at the photos again.  He was proud of what his mom had come up with.  It really was otherworldly looking. Whatever his mother had come up with had really changed the landscape of the place, and anyone who came by would be impressed.

           ‘Wow!  I want to be there!!’  Thor’s heart hurt a little, wishing the same.

           ‘Definitely want to show you someday,’ he typed back.

 

***

 

           “You guys sit,” Thor insisted, when they’d finished dinner and he was clearing the table.  His father leaned back in his chair and took another drink from his wine glass.

           “No complaints here,” he smirked.

           "Of course not,” his mother chimed in.  “When have you ever enjoyed doing the dishes?”  She started to get up to help, but Thor quickly took her plate.

           “Mom, really, let me handle it.  You guys just relax.” He smiled, clearing all their dishes into the kitchen and coming back out to refill their wine glasses, and his own.  “Relax, OK?” he clarified again. Frigga laughed at his antics and rolled her eyes.

           “Yes, OK.  Relax.” She gave him a mock salute.  “Message received, son.” He smiled. With refilled glasses, Thor made his way back into the kitchen to do the dishes.  He was anxious to talk about Loki and whatever was going on with his father, and, honestly, the wine was unnecessary; he was just nervous for some reason.  When he finished putting things in the dishwasher and cleaning the pots and pans they’d used, he came back out to sit down. It would have been nice to sit out on the deck for the rest of the night, but, even though it wasn’t nearly as cold as Chicago right now, it was still too nippy to sit outside.  So he made due with their dining room and took a sip of wine.

           “OK, I’ve got some news for you guys,” he started.

           “Finally!” Odin grinned, leaning forward in his chair.  Frigga sighed, placing a hand over one of his with a look that said ‘calm down.’  Thor chuckled.

           “There’s someone special in my life right now, and I wanted to share the news with you guys, since it’s been awhile since there was really anything to talk about on the dating front.”  There was a twinkle to his father’s eye that he just didn’t understand. He seemed more excited about this than Thor.

           “We’re listening, sweetheart,” Frigga smiled.  Thor cleared his throat, staring into his wine glass.

           “I’ve been seeing someone for about a month and a half, now.”  He looked up at them to see their reactions and both his parents looked happy.

           “We’re so happy for you, Thor,” Frigga smiled, grabbing one of his hands in her free one.  “Your father and I have never worried about you finding a partner, mainly because you seemed happy with your life without one, but we’re both very excited for you.”  Thor blushed a little.

           “His name is Loki.”  Odin burst out laughing, and Thor frowned.  “What?” His father got himself under control before responding.

           “We sure do like to collect names from Norse mythology in this family, don’t we?” he smirked.  They all sat there in silence for a few moments, letting it sink in.

           “It’s almost uncanny,” Frigga mused.  Thor couldn’t believe he’d never put it together before.

           “Oh god…” he groaned.  Odin laughed again.

           “Just putting it together now, eh?” he smirked.  Thor shook his head. ‘ _It really must be fate,’_ he thought to himself.

           “Well, he’s an artist,” he pushed forward, trying hard not to read too much into Loki’s name, now.  His parents sat back, letting Thor talk. “He’s always got his nose in a book. And he’s so passionate about the things he does.  I...I don’t know. It feels soon, but it doesn’t at the same time. I really think he might be it for me.” Thor swallowed and took a gulp from his wine glass as his parents exchanged looks.  When they didn’t say anything, he went on again. “I haven’t said anything to Loki about it. I just...I don’t know. It’s like I feel it inside.” He smiled, feeling warm and happy thinking about Loki.  “I’ve known him for the past seven months, but we’ve only just recently started dating.” His dad looked like he was chomping at the bit, wanting to say something, but he watched as his mom squeezed his hand hard in warning.  “Dad?” he asked, wanting someone to say something so he’d stop babbling.

           “How did you meet?  It took six months for you to start dating?  What took you so long?” Frigga let go of his hand and crossed her arms.  Thor swallowed. The next part was the hardest to tell them.

           “He’s a patient at the hospital,” he confessed.  Frigga picked up her glass and took a drink of the wine.

           “Oh.”  It was a hollow sound around the table, like the joy from before had evaporated.

 

***

 

A few minutes had passed, and Thor was about to get up from the table.  The silence was too much right now. If his parents didn’t support him in this, well, it was their choice, and it would make his stay at home awkward.  But he’d get through it. Frigga sighed across from him.

           “Thor,” she smiled sadly.  But that one word, and it was like the spell had been lifted.  Both his parents seemed to relax again. “I have something to confess.  I’ve actually known about this for a little while.” She chewed her lip and she played with the wine glass that was still in her hand.

           “How?”  Thor was utterly confused.  Was there a webcam on in his apartment?  Had he dialed her up in his sleep one night?  He couldn’t recall getting dunk in the last month and dialing her up, but he supposed that would kind of be the point.  She laughed.

           “You do remember how close Sif is to all of us, yes?”  At that, it clicked in his head. It hadn’t been anything he’d said, but something Sif had talked to his mother about.

           “She’s my daughter as much as she was Joanna’s, honestly, and she calls me up, a lot.  And when my son is being particularly pig headed, she talks to me about it.” Odin butted in, then.

           “Why didn’t you tell me about this?” he grumped, feeling left out.

           “She asked me to keep it private,” Frigga remarked, taking another sip of wine.  “Any anyways, it’s not my job to spread around gossip for you to twitter over.” Thor spit the wine he’d been drinking back into his wine glass, coughing.  It was too much...they were too much, sometimes. Frigga gave him a strange look before continuing. “I didn’t want to presume anything second hand.” Frigga set her glass down while Thor cleared his throat from the aspirated wine.  “Are you OK?” she asked, taking one of his hands in hers. Thor gave himself a few more deep coughs. Wine going down the wrong pipe was really painful.

           “I’m OK,” he squeaked, coughing again.  

           “I didn’t realize I was so funny,” Frigga smiled.  Thor laugh/coughed as he cleared the last of the wine from his throat.

           “You made me sound like some gossiping schoolgirl,” Odin harumphed.  Thor coughed again, and smirked.

           “You are, sometimes,” he joked.  Frigga shook her head at them as Odin crossed his arms across his chest.  “I’m sorry,” Thor smiled, looking over to his mother again. “What were you saying about Sif, now?” he asked.

           “She was just worried for you, Thor.  I’m glad she talked to me about it, because she could have really ruined things with the advice she’d wanted to give you…”  Thor’s mouth dropped open, the lighthearted nature from before completely forgotten. He’d assumed Sif had been supportive of him from the beginning, but maybe that wasn’t the case.

           “Wh–”  He wasn’t sure how to continue, now.  “What did she say?” Odin waved his hands between them, then.

           “No,” he protested.  “Enough of this he said, she said, she said nonsense.  Just tell us what’s going on. I want to be on the same page.”  Odin picked his wine up with a little more force than necessary, almost spilling some of it on his shirt.

           “OK,” Thor agreed, removing his hand from Frigga’s and taking a sip of his own wine again.  He could speak with Sif about it later, if it really seemed like he needed to. “I didn’t give Sif the whole picture, because it’s also confidential information.  But, I discussed it with Loki, and he was OK with me sharing some stuff with you.” His parents both nodded. “He’s in the hospital with a rare form of anemia.” He held up his hands.  “Before you ask, it’s completely treatable. We’re just having a hard time finding a compatible donor for a bone marrow transplant. The trouble is, I’m part of his care team, which means I’m blurring the lines a little with dating and being above board while working,” he confessed.  “So, if anyone found out, I could get into a lot of trouble.” His father groaned next to him.

           “It couldn’t have just been Fandral, could it?” he lamented.  Thor took a little offense to that, but tried not to blow up about it.  He’d come a long way from that.

           “You don’t even know–”

           “Thor,” his mother cut in.  “That is not what he’s saying at all.”  She chuckled. “What your father is so eloquently NOT communicating is, as parents, you hope your child doesn’t have such a hard life ahead of them.  You only want them to be happy. And this situation does not sound easy. It sounds stressful and secretive. Two things I know don’t jive well with you.”  Odin nodded.

           “Yes, that is what I meant.  I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to say we don’t like Loki.  How could I ever say that? I don’t even know the man. I just wish it were a better situation for you, son.  You could be throwing your whole career away here, not just your heart.” Odin sighed, running his hands down his face.  Frigga looked between the two of them before she spoke again.

           “You have a lot of love to give, Thor, and I’m not sure you’ve found someone who could handle all of it in the past.  If you can see that with Loki, then we’re on board, 100 percent.”

           “I’m not sure it was important to you to find someone who could handle it all in the past,” Odin joked.  Thor smirked.

           “I get it, and, to me, this feels different.  It doesn’t feel like Karen or Riley. It’s just...I don’t know.  It’s not the same.” Thor took another sip from his glass before he said anything else.  “I mean...he’s sweet and infuriating and he’s challenged me to just...be more, and it hasn’t even been a year that I’ve known him.”  Frigga smiled.

           “And this was why I told Sif to give you a little time to figure it out on your own.  In case you weren’t aware, that girl is fiercely protective of you, and anytime you mention ‘keep me from doing this’ and ‘help me keep my job,’ she’ll be all over it.  So, if you do talk to her about this, keep that in mind. It came from a place of love.” Thor collapsed back in his chair for maybe the first time that night. He’d actually forgotten about that.  Sif had chased away quite a few girlfriends for him in high school, so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that she was taking up the mantle again. Amora had been particularly persistent until Sif came along with her brash language and her tough attitude and simply boxed her out of Thor’s life.  If he wanted her to get along with Loki, he probably needed to have another heart-to-heart about it.

           “Ugh,” he sighed.  “This is Goose all over again, isn’t it?”  

           Odin pointed an accusatory finger at him.  “No, what’s terrible is you naming a dog Goose, as a grown adult,” he told him.  Thor rolled his eyes.

           “That was the name he’d been given!” he threw his hands up.  “I wasn’t going to change it. He was old and needed a home.”  Frigga laughed. Goose was a Bernese Mountain Dog Thor had adopted from a shelter a year before he’d shipped out for Iraq.  It was his dog, but he was a little crazy. Sif hadn’t liked him, and constantly told Thor to find him a new home; the dog was destroying his.  That was, until Sif met Goose. And he was no longer Thor’s dog, but Sif’s dog that Thor looked after. When Thor left for Iraq, Sif happily ‘reclaimed’ him.  He wasn’t sure how he’d feel if the same thing happened with Loki. An alarm went off on Odin’s watch and the three of them were jostled out of their thoughts.  Odin grinned over at him.

           “So, son, you want to talk a walk around the neighborhood with your old man?”  Thor gaped a little as Odin stood from the table, doing a few exercises.

           “What’s going on?  It’s cold out. Why are you going to walk around outside?” he protested.  Frigga chuckled.

           “Just go with him.  I want to look over some things for the business, and I hate doing it with him perched over my shoulder,” Frigga encouraged him.  When Odin started off towards the front door, Thor got up quickly to keep up. They dragged out the hats and gloves and warm jackets.

           “We’ll talk shop,” Odin grinned, zipping up his coat and slipping into some comfortable walking shoes.  Thor toed on his tennis shoes.

           “When have we ever been able to talk shop?  We’re not even in the same field…” He was utterly confused as he put on his hat and gloves.  Odin opened the door, and he followed him out into the brisk night air.

 

***

 

Turns out, his father had wanted to talk to him about his health.  He’d also wanted to wait to talk to Thor when he was relaxed and not so anxious.  But it hadn’t quite worked out that way. Odin was dealing with deep vein thrombosis, blood clots, and they were slowing down his regular activities, thus inciting them to make the call to return from the Peace Corps.  It sounded like the doctor they’d been to did a good job explaining next steps and ways to prevent further clots, so Thor wasn’t worried they needed additional information or a second opinion. He wasn’t a doctor, but he knew the general info given out to patients with DVT, and his dad was following those instructions quite well.  He mentioned setting timers on his watch to get himself up and moving around, when he’d been sitting for too long. He was glad Odin was being so proactive about things, and he decided his parents were doing OK. He wasn’t going to worry any longer. They had healthy lives going.

           By the time Thanksgiving day rolled around, he’d had a full visit.  He’d caught up with old neighbors, seen friends who lived in the area, helped his mom out at Vanaheim Plants, done some exercising with his father, and just yesterday they’d spent the day volunteering at local shelters.  Today was going to be a whole slew of in-and-out guests. They usually had a lot of neighbors stop by for cocktail hour, his uncle Freyr was coming into town from New York with his husband Heimdall, and Sif and her father were coming by, as well.  Thor had also invited quite a few brothers from his old unit, but most had declined. Many had signed up for a new tour, some lived in different states now, and others already had plans with family. The few who had accepted were coming for cocktail hour, then heading out for celebrations with family or other friends nearby.  It would be nice to see a few of them.

           Freshly showered and getting ready for the day, he pulled out his phone to text Loki.  ‘Happy Thanksgiving,’ he typed, along with a pic of himself. He hadn’t put his shirt on yet and just had the undershirt on, figuring Loki would appreciate it.  A text came back fairly quickly, considering it was 9 am back in Chicago.

           ‘Ruffle up your hair and take the shirt off.’  Thor laughed.

           ‘I got a lot of cooking to help with today.  Gotta get going.’ he typed back. The response was immediate.

           ‘Do it.’  Thor rolled his eyes.

           ‘You’re impossible.’ he sent back.  Loki sent him a kissy face emoji.

           ‘You love it.’

           ‘Not always,’ he smirked, sending a kiss emoji back.  He pulled the undershirt off anyways and fiddled with the angle of taking a selfie.  When he was satisfied, he sent one to Loki. He decided to be a tease and put his button up shirt on, undone and hanging loose on his muscular frame.  A few minutes passed as Thor continued getting ready. When his phone alerted him to a new message, he wasn’t prepared. What he got back was pure debauchery.  He could tell he’d slept on the hospital bed that night because the light was streaming soft and bright from the right side of the photo. Loki’s hair looked a little like a rat’s nest, but still sexy and wavy.  The shirt he had on was a t-shirt, but it had a print on it of a lacy bra and panty set. His whole face was red, and he held a cum covered hand up to his mouth, his tongue wrapping around one of his fingers. Thor was instantly hard, regretting showering already.

           ‘Damn it, Loki,’ he typed furiously, already moving to unbutton his too-tight khakis.

           ‘Happy Thanksgiving, Thundermuffin.’  Thor laughed and sighed almost at the same time, as his hand came to circle his cock.  Loki had been trying out these different cutesy nicknames, and he found it hilarious. He wasn’t sure if it was to mess with him, or if he really liked the nickname thing, but if he knew things would’ve been like this, he would have asked Loki if he had a phone a while ago.  It was fun to text him. He was snarky and witty. At times, even vulnerable in the things he’d text. He shared easier with the written word. Thor laid down on his bed and slicked his hand up with some lotion from on the bedside table. Then he pressed the phone button next to Loki’s name.  Loki answered on the second ring, sounding a little out of breath.

           “Thor?”  He smiled, happy to hear Loki’s voice.

           “Hey.”  He bit his lip to hold back a moan, letting the air rush out his nose a little louder than normal.  There was a little laugh coming from the other end.

           “Sorry, did I ruin your morning schedule?”  Loki didn’t sound ashamed of himself in the least.

           “You are too sexy for your own good,” he whined.  Loki hummed low and deep, the sound making his cock jump in excitement.

           “Are you jerking off in your old bedroom?” Loki asked him.  He shut his eyes, focusing in on Loki’s voice and trying to imagine it was his hand on him right now.

           “Yes,” he panted.  There was some shuffling on the other end of the line, Loki shifting his position on the bed.

           “Is my hand around your dick right now?” he asked, sounding like he was wearing one of those shit-eating grins.  Thor made a little choked off noise in the affirmative and Loki hummed again.

           “Well, my thumb is circling your slit right now, isn’t it?” Loki crooned.  “Because I know how it drives you crazy.” Thor moved his hand to Loki’s directions, a low moan escaping his lips.

           “Mmmhmm,” he bit out, taking a deep breath in through his nose.

           “Put the phone down by your ear, Thor,” Loki instructed.  He did as he was told, unsure what Loki had in mind.

           “I don’t know if you can hear me, but I did it,” he replied.  He could make out Loki chuckling on the other end, before he composed himself.

           “I have both my hands on your cock, don’t I?  Because you’re just so big, I need both of them.”  Thor moaned loudly as he added a little more lotion to his hands and put both of them on his cock.  Using both was like a deep massage for his dick, and it made him so aroused it was hard to stretch things out.  He took short, harsh breaths through his nose, worried about the sounds he’d make if he opened his mouth right now.  Loki’s voice sounded ragged on the other end as he spoke a new set of directions.

           “I’d know you were so close and move one of my hands down to massage your balls,” he told him.  Thor obeyed, trying hard to imagine Loki’s hands on him instead of his own.

           “Yes,” he whispered, having to bite down hard not to make a noise.

           “Your mom’s about to come in, so I squeeze you harder, and move faster.”  Loki was listening to Thor as he slowly fell apart on the line. When he was almost there, Loki gave him one last instruction.  “Then, just as you were about to cum, I’d slide my finger down to your perineum and just press down.” When Thor did as Loki asked, he lost it.  He moaned loudly and came all over the clean undershirt he’d put back on.

           When he felt more functional again, his ears were greeted with Loki’s breathy whines on the other end as he worked himself over for a second orgasm.  He was greedy this morning, or just couldn’t get enough of Thor. Either way, it made him smile. “That’s it, love,” he encouraged, not realizing what he’d just said until the words were out of his mouth.  Loki responded with a loud moan.

           “Wh...what?” he gasped.  “What did you just call me?”  Thor was frozen in a panic. He hadn’t meant to call him ‘love,’ but he’d been thinking it for awhile, now.  He wasn’t sure they were at that point in their relationship, though, and he was worried Loki was about to hang up on him.  A loud cry pierced his ear, signaling Loki’s second climax of the morning. “Hey!” Loki sobbed on the other end, coming down roughly from high he’d just experienced.  “Come back, Cowboy,” he sniffled. Thor’s heart was beating a mile a minute. Things seemed hyper focused, suddenly. The humidity from the bathroom still lingering in his bedroom, the drying cum on his undershirt, how stale his mouth felt, the way the bed creaked with his movements as he sat up.

           “I’m still here,” he croaked.  “Sorry.” A little sniff from the other end.

           “Did you mean it?” Loki asked.  Thor swallowed, trying to force his mouth to start working again.  He took a deep breath in, willing himself to just power through it.  It wasn’t the right time. They were on the phone, and their brains were all addled with fuzzy, feel-good hormones.  But if he was being honest, yes. Yes, of course he meant it. He let out a shaky breath.

           “Y–”  Click.  The line went dead before Thor even got a chance to say it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I had so much fun writing Thor's parents. They might not be standard fare for Odin & Frigga, but they're my Odin & Frigga in this fic, and I just love them both so much. <3 <3 <3 
> 
> The "Vanaheim Plants" text was supposed to be bigger in a pretty cursive font, but you get what you get. :P Oh well.
> 
> This was the [face](https://goo.gl/images/pFE5vt) Thor was making at Loki to show him he was angry about the broken arm thing. (I apologize if, a while from now these links no longer work).
> 
> I was going to link you guys a photo of what Thor sent to Loki after he'd gotten out of the shower, but I'm pretty sure you're all well versed in what Thor looks like half naked. Or wet with a button-up shirt partly on. ;) But here's Loki's [shirt](https://i.etsystatic.com/13204499/d/il/5be617/1382363778/il_340x270.1382363778_e4b6.jpg?version=0). 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!!!!! I loved this chapter. <3 :D We're really getting into it, now! ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr!!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ktspree13)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, though. Life got busy, and at this rate, you all will probably have to wait a little bit before I can post pt. 2. <3 Might take a break to finish it and do final edits. We'll see. <3 <3 <3 But not TOO long. I don't know. I still don't know what I want to do. But I'm so glad you all are reading and enjoying. You're all amazing people. Also, I just now realized this is a really short chapter....... As was the next one. SO, I combined them. The second part of this chapter is my absolute favorite in all of pt. 1. I hope you all like it as much as I do.

           “Having a good morning?” his mother asked, as he came into the kitchen.  His dad had left for the airport already to pick up his uncle and uncle-in-law.  Thor blushed, thinking back to what had happened not 20 minutes ago in his childhood bedroom, then suddenly lurched, remembering how it had ended.  He went to get a glass of orange juice, swallowing down his nausea and noting a tell-tale smirk on Frigga’s face.

           “Yeah,” he mumbled, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and pulling the orange juice out of the fridge.  “I called Loki to wish him Happy Thanksgiving.” Frigga laughed as Thor started pouring the orange juice into the glass.

           “Is that what you were doing?”  She was working on chopping vegetables for a crudite platter, and Thor started spilling the orange juice everywhere.

           “Mom!” he sputtered, putting the carton of juice down and going to grab a rag from the sink.  Frigga put down the knife, unable to control her laughter.

           “Oh, honey, if you think I didn’t know what went on up there when you were growing up, honestly…”  She smiled at him.

           “We are not having this conversation,” Thor griped, wiping off the orange juice container and sticking it back in the fridge.

           “Of course not,” she winked.  Thor sagged against the fridge, wishing he were back in Chicago where the walls were thick, and his parents weren’t around to snicker about his self-pleasuring habits.  Thor groaned and trudged back to the glass of orange juice he’d managed to over-pour. His mother had begun chopping again. When he’d sopped up the rest of the mess and tossed the rag back into the sink. He took his glass and collapsed into a bar stool chair at the island counter.  “Honey, is something else the matter?” Frigga asked him. “You look a little green around the gills.” She waved the knife around in a circle, motioning to his complexion.

           “Don’t wave that around,” he cautioned.  “It’s unsafe.” Frigga rolled her eyes, but smirked and began chopping again.  She seemed to forget her question and left Thor in peace to drink his juice. The longer the silence went on, though, the more unbearable it became for him.  “I may have said something on the phone that Loki wasn’t ready to hear.” He swallowed the rest of the orange juice. Frigga let that sit for a minute, finishing her chopping before she put the knife down and looked up at him.

           “What happened?” she asked.  If there was one thing his mother was good at, it was sniffing out a problem and trying to help fix it.  

           “I called him ‘love’ over the phone and when he asked if I meant it, he hung up before I could answer."  His mother nodded, then went to grab a platter for the veggies she was cutting up. “Well?” he asked.

           “Well what?”  She was smirking when she returned to the center island, clearly finding the whole situation funny.

           “What should I do?” he groaned, collapsing onto the countertop like a love struck teen.  Frigga laughed, arranging the vegetables on the platter.

           “Give him an hour, maybe, then send a text.  If you’re really worried, call him back.”

           “You think he just needs a little space?” Thor fretted.  “Or do you think he’s completely freaking out and never wants to see me again?”  Thor dug his hands into his hair, pulling at the roots a bit.

           “I honestly don’t know, honey.  I don’t know him well enough. But I highly doubt it’s the latter.”  She passed by him on her way to the pantry and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  “Now start chopping because I need to get to work on this turkey, and your uncles will be here in an hour.”  Thor sighed and made his way over to the cutting board to continue where his mother had left off.

 

***   
  


Per his mother’s suggestion, Thor wasted no time sending a message over to Loki.  ‘Sorry about this morning. Is everything OK?’ he typed.  _ ‘Are we OK?’  _ he wondered.  A minute later, a message came through his phone.

           ‘Honey bunches of oats!  Happy Thanksgiving, dude!’  Darcy then. With Loki’s phone.  Thor frowned.

           ‘Happy Thanksgiving...Darcy?’

           ‘You really did a number on him, kid,’ was her quick reply.  ‘Had to leave the gallery party schmoozing to Ian, and let me tell you, he is NOT ready.’  Thor was getting all tangled up in Darcy’s regular loquaciousness, and freaking out even more, now.

           ‘Darcy, what is going on?’ he typed back, furiously.  ‘Where’s Loki?’

           There was an eyeroll gif that came through to his phone and Thor was ready to just call Loki’s phone.  ‘Well, he’s right next to me, Jessica Rabbit, bawling his eyes out over your little love burp this morning.’

           ‘Darcy!’  Thor was frustrated.  This was getting him nowhere.

           ‘Yes, puddin’ cup?’  

           He typed her a few angry emojis.  ‘Is everything OK?’

           ‘No, but it will be.’  What did that even mean??

           ‘Does he still want to see me?’  He almost didn’t press send, too nervous to hear her answer.

           ‘Thor.’  She’d actually written his real name.  ‘If he didn’t want to see you again, you wouldn’t be my puddin’ cup.’  He re-read that sentence a few more times, wanting to cry. ‘His highness blew up my phone with these crazy texts this morning.  Wonder Boy sex. Stop. Hung up. Stop. Some weird quote from Wuthering Heights about moonbeams and lightning. Stop. He’s my rose.  Full stop.’ Once again, Darcy wasn’t making any sense. It was like word vomit all over his screen.

           ‘What?’  Honestly, he should just call.

           ‘That’s what I said!’  She sent him some Kermit the Frog gif with him flailing about.  Thor groaned.

           ‘So I left the cushy party I was setting up for, with my fancy  hors d'oeuvre and pretty champagne glasses to come sit on a hospital bed and get snot wiped all over my gorgeous new dress.  Happy Thanksgiving to Darcy, #1 friend of the year.’ He was working on his own response back to her when another text came through.  ‘And let me just say, Thor,’ He wasn’t liking her using his real name anymore. ‘you don’t mention the word ‘love’ for the first time when you’re having phone sex.  It’s just improper.’ He sighed. Darcy knew, which meant Loki had been OK enough to talk in sentences.

           ‘What do I do now?’ he asked her, unsure where to go from here.  Did he give Loki space? Call right now and talk to him? Confess everything over text?  Messenger him a bunch of roses? Smoke signals? Carrier pigeons?? Darcy was good at bossing people around.  If she didn’t know what to tell him, he was definitely going to drown.

           ‘Just get home.  Talk.  Buy a copy of The Little Prince and read it.’  There was a gif of a book opening on the screen.

           ‘To him?’  He was confused on that last part.  What did The Little Prince have to do with anything?

           ‘Sure,’ was her flippant reply.  ‘Why the hell not?’

           ‘OK.’  He’d almost calmed down, now, and was about to put his phone away when two more messages flew in.

           ‘THORRRR!!!!’  ‘No! You read the damn book yourself and when you understand the significance, then and only then can you read any of it to Loki.’  Well, he was going to have to find a copy online somewhere for his plane ride tomorrow.

 

***

 

Thanksgiving had gone great, after he’d finished panicking over what was going on between Loki and him.  His uncles had jumped at the chance to hear about Loki and were thrilled to death Thor had found himself a “nice artist-type.”  Heimdall assured him they were the best type while Freyr had wholeheartedly agreed. His uncle was a director for a big name theater in New York, and Heimdall was a lawyer who mainly represented musicians.  They’d gone off about Freyr’s upcoming production--when Thor had filled them in on everything he’d planned to talk about—and Heimdall had given him the names of some up-and-coming artists to look out for. 

He always liked seeing his uncles.  They seemed content with their lives, for the most part, and enjoyed tormenting those around them with the syrupy sweetness of their relationship.  His mom liked to tease and joke around with him, but his uncle was so much worse. Any opportunity to make people uncomfortable and Freyr was there.  It was like a second sense. When they were peeling potatoes, all of them suddenly had voices that would scream out in pain or shout “I’m Spartacus” before dying their gruesome death.  When Odin came by and pecked Frigga on the cheek, there was Freyr, throwing a surprised Heimdall against the island countertop and sticking his tongue down his throat. When they’d had neighbors over for cocktails, Freyr had decided to make a batch of blowjob shots to pass around.  While his mother added stuffing to the turkey, Freyr stood right behind her mumbling “Oh, the horror!” every time her hand went back into the bird.

           For the most part, Heimdall tried to stay out of his way, just letting Freyr be himself around family.  He admired Heimdall for his restraint. He’d gotten a chance to catch up with the men from his old unit, and told them how he was doing out in Chicago.  And no, he wasn’t planning to come back anytime soon. They joked that he was too out of shape for it anyways. Thor had laughed at that. It wasn’t true…  His uncle Freyr had behaved around the other marines, even sincerely thanking them for their service. Thor had been really touched at that.

           When everyone had left from cocktail hour, there were only seven left for dinner.  Sif and her father had joined the five of them, and there had been way too much food, as always.  Freyr had gotten emotional at the table, mentioning how much he’d missed seeing his sister and Odin these past four years, and how he was glad they were back in the states.  Heimdall had invited all of them to come visit them in New York; especially for the opening of Freyr’s play next year. Thor knew his parents would be there, and he’d made a note in his phone to try and take time off.  He wanted to support his uncle’s project, if he could. With Sif there, he spoke a little more about Loki, let her know his name, and that they’d been dating for a little while now. She’d given him a silent look to say ‘I’ll put the claws away.’  Thor had been grateful she understood and still wanted to support him with everything. After that, it had been Thanksgiving as usual. His mother asked them all to say something they were thankful for, Sif’s father and Heimdall got into some kind of debate about the law, Thor, Sif, and Odin ate too much food and unbuttoned at the table, and Frigga just shook her head watching them all.  It was perfect.

           That night, when everyone was helping to clean up the massive amount of dishes, Sif filled his parents in on her new job, how much she liked (disliked) Chicago, and the amazing group of women in her self-defense class.  He would be sad to leave them all tomorrow.

 

***

 

When he landed in Chicago the next night, he’d been crying on the plane for 20 minutes.  Darcy’s suggestion to read The Little Prince had been wonderful and horrible. Fandral had been gracious enough to pick him up from the airport and as soon as he saw him, Fandral could tell something had happened.

           “What’s going on?” he panicked.  “Did someone die? Is something wrong with your family?”  When Thor had buckled in, Fandral started pulling away from the arrivals area, as he wasn’t allowed to linger.  “Oh god...Thor, I am not good with crying. What’s happening?” Fandral’s grip on the steering wheel was all white knuckles.  Thor sniffed and pulled a napkin out of the glove compartment to blow his nose.

           “Just...hold on.”  He blew his nose loudly.  “I need to text someone. Everything’s going to be OK.”  He watched as his friend relaxed a little in the seat next to him.  With his phone in hand, he texted Loki. ‘I don’t want to be your rose.  I don’t want you to have to die to be with me.’ He sighed and put his phone away.  The tears had stopped a little bit ago and he felt calmer, having finally sent something to Loki.  “OK,” he swallowed, giving Fandral a little smile. “I read an upsetting book on the plane, I’m sorry.”  Thor adjusted his seat back to sit a little straighter.

           “Geezus...don’t do that to me, man.”  Fandral heaved a huge sigh and turned on the radio.  The soothing sounds of Marvin Gaye and ‘How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)’ was playing and he leaned over to give Fandral a quick hug.

           “Sorry,” Thor murmured.  Fandral smiled and shook his head, messing with Thor’s hair before he sat back up.

           “So, what’s up?  You’re not going to fool me by saying it was all just a sad book,” Fandral joked.  Thor smirked, massaging around his stinging eyes.

           “I have some kind of big news.  I’m seeing the guy at the hospital that I was trying to keep my distance from,” he confessed.

           “Oh thank God!” Fandral laughed.  Thor gave him a strange look. “I’m sorry, but that just wasn’t healthy to deny your feelings like that, my friend.”  Thor’s face was stormy, as he reflected on that. Before he got a chance to reply, his phone chimed. It was from Loki.  He unlocked his phone quickly and opened the message.

           ‘Oh Thor…’  That was it.  That was all he’d written.  Luckily, another message came in soon after it and he signed in relief.  ‘Be my fox, then. “ To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world.”’  Thor’s eyes watered again. He pulled up his copy of the book to find the chapter on the sweet little fox.  When he found what he’d wanted to write back, he pulled open his messages.

           ‘“But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life.”’  Fandral was stopped at a stoplight when he looked over at Thor.

           “What, again?” Fandral crowed.  Thor turned and gave him a watery smile.

           “Sorry.  We’re just being a couple of saps.”  Thor cleared his throat and wiped his eyes again.  His hair was down today, wild and free. He pushed it out of his face.  “His name is Loki,” he whispered.

           “No…” Fandral replied.  “Loki Laufeyson?” He sounded like he was ready to eject out of his seat, he was so excited.  “Tell me it’s Laufeyson. What other Chicago artist could it be…” Marvin Gaye’s ‘Trouble Man’ came on, and it was comforting to listen to.

           “Yes,” Thor confirmed, laughing at his almost encyclopedic knowledge.  Fandral’s jaw dropped open.

           “I feel like I should pull over,” he mumbled.  “You actually got to see the man paint? You got to watch him put his compositions together?”  Fandral’s hands were tapping the wheel along time with the song.

           “Yeah,” Thor blushed, remembering the first time he’d watched Loki paint.  He’d been all beauty and grace and fierce determination and Thor had loved every minute he’d sneaked.  Fandral groaned.

           “You are one lucky man,” he explained.  “I asked his agent a few times about stopping by, but it was always a hard no.” Fandral sighed.

           When they were nearing their neighborhood, another text came unexpectedly into his phone.  It was from Loki again.

           ‘You bitch!  How dare you arm him with such a powerful weapon???  The Little Prince? Honestly?? You know this is my greatest weakness, Darcy!!’  Angry and whiney, just like Loki, but clearly meant for Darcy. He chuckled as he typed his response.

           ‘I think you meant to send that to Darcy.’  He included a winky face. It was several minutes before he got a response.

           ‘new phone, who dis?’  Thor laughed even louder this time.

           “He sent me a text meant for a friend, about me,” he shared with Fandral.  “And now he’s embarrassed. It’s adorable.” Fandral smiled and shook his head, focusing on getting off at the right exit.  Thor typed a response for Loki anyway. ‘“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."’

           “You need anything to eat?” Fandral asked, once he’d gotten off the highway.

           “Nah.  I just want to get home right now.  Maybe make some popcorn when I get there.”  Fandral nodded.

           “You want to share a bowl up on the roof?” Fandral smiled.  “You can tell me about Loki’s painting style… I want to know it all!!  I’m still so jealous…”

           “Sure,” Thor agreed, easily.  He’d missed Fandral while he was away, and his friend seemed to feel the same way.  “I’ll even make homemade stove pop popcorn for you.”

           “Yes!”  Fandral pumped one of his fists in the air as another text came into Thor’s phone.  Loki again.

           ‘Stoooooppp it!’  Thor could imagine the younger man’s bright red face in that moment.  ‘This is too much dirty talk for this late at night. I...I need to go to bed.’  Thor smiled the entire rest of the way home.  
  
***  
  


It had been an amazing, but terrible month.  Amazing in the sense that he had talked things out with Loki, and they’d both confessed to feeling something a lot deeper for each other than ‘I like you.’  Loki told him he wasn’t ready to hear anything more, but he understood, and Thor would know when he was at a point where he wanted to talk about it again. He also allowed Thor the nickname that had slipped out over Thanksgiving.  It was terrible in the sense that the ship seemed like it was sinking. A few of the nurses, including Thor himself, had actually gotten tested to see if they were a match for Loki, but nothing panned out. The younger man almost seemed to retreat into himself, pushing Thor away and refusing to see most of his visitors.  His OCD had returned in full force. Anything you touched in the room was a trigger. If Loki didn’t see you wash your hands before coming near him, there was a full-blown panic attack, half the time. The other half, he was able to rein it in and simply ask you to wash your hands again. Thor had taken to carrying a little bottle of hand sanitizer with him, realizing it put Loki at ease to know it was handy.  He didn’t leave the room much anymore, but he also wasn’t painting. Whether it was due to the low energy, or because the OCD was too strong to paint, Thor didn’t know. But with that outlet gone, there weren’t many places for Loki’s nervous energy to go. 

Thor brought him a book of origami earlier in the week, and he’d amassed a whole menagerie of paper animals.  He made so many of them, Thor had taken all the extras to the children’s ward. The kids had been thrilled, displaying the little creatures on windowsills and bedside tables.  A few had help stringing some together and made necklaces out of them. The kids wanted Loki to visit them so they could watch him make the animals in person, but Thor was pretty sure it was out of the question right now.  He told the kids Loki was sick and couldn’t move around very well. Three-fourths of the time, that was true. Loki had a few good days a week, now, and his transfusions had gone from twice a month to three, sometimes four times.  He’d been put on a medication to help flush out the extra iron in his system, as well, but eventually that wouldn’t be enough. Thor’s parents had been a strong support on the phone and had made plans to stay for Christmas, until New Years.  That was only a few days away, and he was worried he’d be bawling the moment they got through the door. 

He missed Loki.  He saw him for whatever care he needed for his job, but outside of that, Loki told him he couldn’t handle it.  He didn’t want to be hugged and coddled. He didn’t want to worry the people around him, so he preferred not to see them.  Thor felt he was trying to soften the blow, in case the transplant never came through and none of the other treatments panned out.  But Loki was young…so young…there was no way there weren’t other options if it looked like it was getting too late to wait for a match.  Right?

***

Thor was in to answer a page from Loki’s room.  Pam had almost gone, but when Thor showed up at the desk, she shooed him in Loki’s direction, saying she wanted to finish the paperwork she had from the last patient she’d seen.  He was a floater today for the emergency ward, which he’d talked about with Jane. When they were on the same page about it, he’d agreed small doses were fine, but he’d prefer to mostly be a floater when they needed it.  Jane hadn’t had a problem with that, and it had really put Thor’s mind at ease. Thor placed the folder down from the last patient he’d had. A man and his wife. They’d been cooking together, trying to get ready for a Christmas dinner they were hosting, and she’d sliced the tip of her thumb almost clean off.  Luckily, he was an EMT and knew the proper steps to take before bringing her in. Thor had assisted the emergency doctor with stitching everything back together, and the pair had been on their way again; in a happy mood, even. 

It was wrong of him, but Thor was jealous of the ease of their relationship, and that their issue had been a quick fix.  They came to the hospital with one problem, in and out, fixed...life went on. It wasn’t fair. When he got into Loki’s room, the pale man stared back at him with sad eyes, like he’d wished it had been anyone else.  Thor tried hard to keep himself together. He made sure Loki watched as he went over to the sink and washed his hands, then went to walk over to the bed. “How can I help, love?” he asked, voice low and smooth. He noticed the sheets and blankets on the bed were a tangled mess, like Loki had gotten up, thrown them about, then laid back down on top of them.

“Can you help me with the bathroom?” the younger man mumbled.  It had been a few days since Thor had even been allowed to hold him.  His heart picked up speed, thinking of the prospect. “I tried earlier, but almost fell over, I got so dizzy.”  Thor noticed new bruises standing out on Loki’s arms and feet, now that he wasn’t all covered up. His condition was significantly worsening if he was continuing to bruise so easily.

“Of course,” he replied.  He placed a hand behind Loki’s shoulders, helping him to sit up as the slighter man swung his legs, slowly, around to the edge of the bed.  When they were both standing, he couldn’t resist. Thor placed a hand on one side of Loki’s head and pulled it close to his heart, as he kissed the top of Loki’s obsidian-colored locks.

“Thor, stop,” Loki whispered, pushing himself away from Thor’s broad chest.  He nodded, chastising himself for not sticking to assisting Loki only. He curled his whole arm around the slighter man’s body and when Loki nodded his head, they made their way, to the bathroom, taking their time with careful, methodical steps.  It wasn’t a far distance, but Loki needed to close his eyes to walk towards their destination.

“How are you doing?” he asked, needing to hear Loki’s voice.  It was tearing him apart to stay so separated, and the radio silence from Loki’s phone was also hard for Thor to accept.

“It’s not a good day, Thor,” he whispered.  They’d made it into the bathroom, and Loki struggled with the button on his pants.  Before he got too frustrated, Thor helped Loki unbutton the fly and pull his cock free from the layers of fabric.  Loki sniffed and wiped under his nose, trying to blink away the tears that were gathering in his eyes. “This stupid fucking disease…”  Thor fit himself behind Loki and held onto him; for comfort, for support, just so Loki would know he wasn’t alone.

“I know, love,” he sighed into Loki’s ear.

It was several minutes before Loki got himself under control enough to pee, and Thor held him up the entire time, making sure there was no chance he would fall.  “Isn’t this weird for you?” he asked Thor. Thor chuckled.

“No.  The lady who used to flash me every time I walked into her room was weird.  The kid who liked pooping in his bed was weird. The clown who came in with a dildo stuck up his butt was weird.  This? This isn’t weird. This is just Thor helping Loki, just like any other day.” He hoped it sounded reassuring for the younger man.  This was what Thor did. It wasn’t any weirder for him than giving a neighbor a cup of flour or a stick of butter. At least, not anymore.  Maybe when he’d first started out, but you got over it quickly, or you didn’t make it in this job. Loki smirked at his stories, and Thor helped him with his pants again.  They were a nice, soft, jersey knit pant. Thick and cozy, maybe even fleece lined. Winter in Chicago got cold, and they’d had to monitor Loki’s room to try and keep him from catching any more colds.  Since October, there had been a few more to deal with, but he’d been able to avoid them, for the most part. Thor was glad. It meant Loki’s immune system was still working hard, at least, to keep him healthy.  When things were all buttoned up again, Loki turned around and hugged Thor to him.

           “OK,” the pale man replied, fisting his hands into Thor’s scrubs.  “You can say it,” he sniffed. For a moment, Thor was confused. What was he supposed to say?  Did Loki think he’d make fun of him? But it all clicked rather quickly, and he smiled. They were standing in a bathroom, no place special, after he’d just held Loki up while he peed, and now was the time he wanted to hear Thor tell him.

           “I love you,” he murmured, kissing Loki’s forehead and holding onto him tightly.  Thor felt tears soaking into his scrubs.

           “I’m fading away,” he sobbed.

           “I won’t ever stop loving you,” Thor settled, at peace, finally.  Calm, and happy. He wasn’t sure what had happened, but Loki had finally let him back in, and then let him in a little bit more than before.

           “You should,” Loki blubbered, grabbing onto Thor even tighter as he said it.

           “I love you, Loki,” he said again, tucking the younger man’s head under his chin and gathering him up even more in his arms.  “I love you.” Loki cried and let himself be healed by Thor’s words. He whispered it over and over until Loki had cried himself out.  

           Thor helped him wash his hands, then picked the slighter man up so his knees and shins rested on his chest, his arms trapped between them, and his head resting on Thor’s shoulder.  His arms folded Loki into his body, safe and protected, as he carried his, limp, exhausted frame over to the bed. Thor laid him down carefully and kissed him chastely on his lips. He headed for the door to let Loki sleep, when he heard a small noise from the bed.

           “Thor,” Loki rasped.  He turned around and came back to the bed.  Loki reached his hands up towards him, so he leaned down for him.

           “Yes, love?” he smiled.  The younger man slid a hand around the back of his neck, the other going to cup his cheek.  He stared up at Thor for a few long moments before his eyes watered and he swallowed.

           “I…”  Loki’s lips trembled as he held on tighter.  “I…” He pulled Thor’s head down to rest on his shoulder.  Thor listened to Loki’s mouth opening and closing a few more times before he smiled and placed a kiss on his slender shoulder.

           “I know,” he whispered, threading his fingers in Loki’s hair.  He nuzzled his neck a few times, sighing, fully content in the moment.  For now, this was probably the closest Loki would come to telling Thor he loved him, and it was enough for him.  Loki sniffled a few more times before he let Thor go.

           “Well…”  He looked a little guilty.  “That’s all I wanted to say, then,” he mumbled.  Thor smiled and wrapped Loki up in all the blankets.

           “Alright, love,” he winked.  “You get back to sleep, alright?  And stop ignoring me on your phone.”  Loki pouted. “And for all our sakes, let Darcy come see you.  She’s starting to crack Jane’s impenetrable wall of patience, with all her needling.”  Loki held the heels of his palms over his eyes as his lips wobbled again. He nodded and Thor leaned down to kiss the top of his head.  “We were all getting worried for you, again. A bunch of the nursing staff even got tested to see if we were matches for you.” Loki uncovered his eyes and stared up at Thor in awe.

           “Really?” he asked.  Thor nodded.

           “Yup.  We’re all rather fond of you, ya know.”  Thor reached out and held onto Loki’s hand.  “So don’t get discouraged. I’m sure Bruce has more ideas on where to go from here, should you need them.”  Loki touched the back of Thor’s hand to his forehead three times, blushing furiously, before turning his gaze back to him.

           “I’m trying, but thank you,” he whispered.  “Please thank the other nurses, too. That was really sweet of them. I really appreciate it.”  He gave Thor a sad smile before kissing his hand and letting it go, closing his eyes. His hands braced himself on the bed, and Thor assumed it was another dizzy spell he was going through.

           “I will,” he promised, worrying for Loki.  “Now you try and get some more sleep, OK?” Thor asked.  Loki nodded, his eyes still closed, and his skin taking on an extra chalky palette.  Thor turned to leave again, and Loki reached out to take his hand. Once again, Thor turned around.  Loki looked right in his eyes, a determined look on his face. “Thor, I…” He could see the panic blooming on the younger man’s face, but instead of trying to reassure him, Loki made the first move.  He pulled Thor down to him roughly and kissed him. When Thor had gotten over the shock, Loki made his move and pushed his tongue past Thor’s lips. They did this for another minute, maybe, before Loki got too tired and out of breath for it.  He gave Thor a blissful smile and sent him on his way. When Thor made it out of the room, he covered his eyes and wept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the Wuthering Heights quote: "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and...as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire." (9.92)
> 
> Also, the thing about Thor being Loki's rose is a reference to The Little Prince. As is the bit where they decide he'll be the Fox instead.
> 
> I also joked that Thor's giant smile looked just like the crazy [Totoro face](https://goo.gl/images/6beSis), lol! That was the end of the chapter, originally. But that was rather short, so I included the next chapter, as well. And it's just my favorite. <3 <3 <3
> 
> Trying to explain my imagery of Thor holding Loki as he carried him to the bed was MAJORLY difficult. I have like this image in my head, but no image to actually see. The general sentiment was a way to carry someone to just make them feel like a small little jelly bean, all tiny and wrapped up. I was trying to find different ways you can carry people and nothing. Then it reminded me of a tango hold. Couldn't find what I wanted with that image search. Then I tried one other search and it didn't give me what I wanted to help picture it more fully in my head and I gave up. SO, that bit means a lot to me, and I can kinda see how it is in my head, but it's hard to translate it, I think. So, hopefully you get at least a similar picture.
> 
> I just love these two so much! <3 <3 <3 And Fandral being such a fanboy was cute. <3 :) I hope you liked this chapter. If you have some time, I'd love to know what you thought.
> 
>  
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ktspree13)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, last chapter of pt. 1!!! <3 It's been a great ride, this Big Bang season. :) A lot of hard work went into this fic and I can't even begin to express how it makes me feel to see so many people reading and enjoying and asking for more in this little universe I've created. Many of you have realized this is the last chapter here, but don't fret. There's already 13 chapters written in pt. 2. That being said, I will be taking a break until 12/1 in order to (hopefully) finish writing pt. 2 and then go through with final edits. It's important to me that what I share with all of you is the best I can make it. :)
> 
> Once again, HUGE, HUGE, MAJOR THANKS AND KUDOS to my awesome beta, [Tatiana](http://tjc2009-2018.tumblr.com/). She seriously helped with research, calmed me down when I freaked out, helped me make decisions that were instrumental for the fic. When I couldn't figure out what word I was looking for, she was there to help brainstorm. I couldn't have asked for a better, more available and interactive beta. She's just the TOPS. <3 <3 <3 Good luck with your finals!!!!
> 
> Also, the amazing art by [Kamthe](http://kamthe.tumblr.com/post/180061901601/hi-everyone-im-here-with-my-second-thorki)!!!!!

Thor’s parents had come in a few days earlier, and Thor had taken them to a lot of nice places around town.  The Christkindlmarket at Daley Plaza, over to see the big tree, marveling at the Macy’s windows, and eating in the Walnut Room at the top of the department store.  Frango Mint Pie had definitely graced their table. They had all gone ice skating at Millennium Park, and walked around Michigan Avenue. He’d even taken them to the rooftop terrace at the Chicago Athletic Association.  A great number of touristy things, but also things Fandral assured him were integral to winter in Chicago. When Thor was working, Fandral had taken on the role of official tour guide. He brought his parents to lesser known places in the city, and even got them into The Girl and the Goat for dinner one night.

           Most days, when he’d come back from work, he’d wish he’d been able to go with, because Fandral had taken them somewhere he’d never been.  Or to a show he had wanted to see. It was now Sunday, and Thor was off work. He’d gotten tickets to take his parents to see A Midsummer Night’s Dream at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater, and they were all looking forward to it.  His mother loved all the magic and fantasy in the woods in this play, his father enjoyed almost anything Shakespearean, and he was looking forward to it because Loki had been so excited about it. Thor hadn’t seen much Shakespeare, but Loki’s eyes had lit up when he mentioned what was playing around the city and he’d taken his recommendation to go.  He wanted to be able to share things with Loki. If he hated it, well, that was that, but he had a feeling he’d enjoy himself. Especially if his parents had a good time. He hoped to catch a few of the actors after the show, if at all possible, to grab a few autographs for Loki. It seemed like something he might like. They were meeting Sif and Fandral at Ed Debevics, afterward; another Chicago tourist attraction, but something not to be missed, according to Fandral.  He’d invited Volstagg and his whole crew to join them, but the man had turned him down, citing a family tradition of going off into the wilderness for Christmas time, but he’d have New Year’s available, and a babysitter already lined up, if Thor didn’t have any plans. He’d heartily accepted, and they’d decided to come up with plans after Boxing day.

           He’d been so happy to have his parents visit.  The day they arrived, he’d been able to take the whole day off.  After that, they snuck time in when Thor wasn’t working. Next week, he was able to get off a few more days, and he was looking forward to showing them around the hospital, as well as having them meet his coworkers.  If he was OK with it, and feeling alright, he’d include Loki in his tour, as well. He was hoping they could meet, especially because his parents kept asking about him. Asking how he was doing, if Thor was holding up alright, what his options were.  They wanted to be supportive and involved, like they’d been with nearly every aspect of his life. Sometimes it got a little stifling, and he felt meeting Loki might help put them all a little more at ease. Beyond that, he had a present for his parents: a round trip ticket to come see him this summer, when Chicago’s weather was warm and sunny.  Fandral had included a private tour of the observation deck of Willis Tower. He couldn’t wait to see the surprised looks on their faces.

 

***

 

The show was incredible.  Loki would have loved it. It had all this crazy retro music in it, and the actor who played Puck really stole the show.  His parents didn’t mind waiting to see if the actors would come out, and they’d been in luck. A few came through the doors to greet the guests who’d stayed, and he hadn’t even had to look for Puck.  The actor who played Puck snuck up behind Thor and started playing with his hair. He turned around and laughed when he realized what was going on. A few minutes later, he had a few autographs, and when the other actors heard why Thor was getting them, they offered to stage a quick reenactment of one of the scenes so Thor could show Loki.  It was only two or three minutes, but he wanted to cry. He didn’t think he’d ever forget the kindness of these people. They’d clapped at the end, and the actors had said, “This is for you, Loki!” and blew kisses at the camera. Thor thanked them profusely, and the three of them made their way out of the theater to grab a taxi. His phone chimed just as they got outside.  The three of them got into a taxi, Thor directed the driver to the restaurant, then he pulled out his phone. It was from Loki.

           ‘I need you to come tonight,’ he wrote.  Thor started to panic a little. Loki had never needed him to come by for anything before, so he wasn’t sure what was happening.  His mother gave him a look.

           “Is everything alright, sweetie?” she asked.  He typed back to Loki quickly.

           ‘Is everything OK?  This is making me nervous.  Should I come now? Or after dinner with my parents?  Or later?’ He looked up at Frigga. “I think everything’s fine.  Loki asked me to come by tonight, and I’m not sure what’s up,” he told them.  Odin hummed, while his mom nodded.

           “Alright,” she smiled.  It was suddenly tense in the car, everyone seeming to be worried about Loki.  Thor cleared his throat when another text came through.

           ‘I don’t know,’ it said.  ‘I guess later is OK…’ Thor bit his lip.  It made his heart pound that Loki didn’t know if he was OK or not and needed to see him.

           ‘I’m coming now, if you don’t know what’s up,’ he told him.  He got a text back right away.

           ‘No!’  Thor covered his eyes with one of his hands as another text came through.  He read it a few moments later, taking a few deep breaths. ‘Don’t come now.  I decided. Later is fine. Don’t worry. Everything’s good.’ He sighed. At least everything was OK.  He must have misinterpreted the ‘I don’t know’ he’d gotten earlier.

           ‘I’m still worried,’ he typed back.  Loki sent him a smiley.

           ‘You wouldn’t be you if you weren’t worried,’ followed by one of those emojis with a wink and the tongue sticking out.  He laughed at that.

           “Very true,” he mumbled.  Odin looked over at him as they pulled into the restaurant.

           “What’s true?” he asked.  Thor smiled, getting out his wallet to pay for the cab.  Odin beat him to it by handing the driver some cash. Thor shook his head slightly.

           “Thank you,” he replied, opening the door on his side and going to help his mother out.  When they’d all departed the cab, he spoke up again. “Loki said I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t worried.”  He rolled his eyes as his parents laughed.

           “You get that from you mother,” Odin smirked.

           “Yup!” she cried, throwing her arms around Thor’s waist.  Sif and Fandral were waiting inside when they made it through the doors.  Frigga pulled them both in for a hug. Odin gave a handshake to Fandral, and a hug for Sif.  “So, what’s so special about this place?” Frigga asked, taking in the 1950’s decor and all the costumes and paper hats worn by the staff.  She smiled at the hostess.

           “Please go away,” the woman said.  Fandral laughed at her shocked expression.

           “They’re rude to you,” was his response.

 

***

 

Dinner was incredibly fun.  Once Fandral explained a little more about the restaurant, his mother decided she wanted to play along.  So she was rude and surly right back to every waiter that acted the same to her, trying to see how far she could push it before they snapped.  She got one young man to apologize to her, and someone else comped the bill 10%. Frigga and Fandral found it all quite hilarious. The rest of them hid behind their menus.  

           The food was greasy and delicious and exactly what Thor needed after the Loki scare.  It was a good time together, and he found the restaurant quite fun. By the time they all got back outside, it was too cold to consider public transit.  Fandral got them a large taxi and when they all made it inside, he invited everyone up to his apartment for a drink. Thor stayed for an hour, drinking and singing bad Christmas carols.  Fandral even put on a disk of the creepiest Christmas cartoons ever made. When they were a quarter of the way through the cartoons, he knew it was time to head out. Fandral had a spare key to his place, and his parents understood.  Sif mouthed “be careful” to him as he left.

 

***

 

When he got to the hospital, he waved to Evelyn behind the front desk.  She didn’t even question him being there. How did this keep happening? He made it to Loki’s room, knocked, and pushed the door in.  The sight that greeted him was overwhelming. His mouth dropped open as he stared. There was a little tree set up close to the door, and the whole place was lit with battery-operated candles.  Loki stepped out of the bathroom as Thor shut the door. Loki’s hair was in a braid and he was wearing those red plaid harem pants he’d first seen him in. His shirt was black with white lettering spelling out “ho ho hoe” on it.  Thor smirked staring at it. The whole outfit was topped off with an oversized, 70’s era terry-cloth robe in some crazy aztec pattern. Loki walked up to him and pulled them closer to the tree.

           “I love this.”  Thor’s grin was a mile wide as he played with the robe.  It was almost big enough to wrap the both of them up together.  The younger man blushed as he stared up into Thor’s face.

           “Darcy’s Christmas gift,” he murmured.  “It’s actually quite cozy.” Loki smiled, placing a hand on Thor’s cheek and kissing him quickly.

           “Are we doing Christmas right now?  Because I left part of your gift at home,” Thor pouted.  Loki rolled his eyes.

           “We can do it whenever we feel like it, but I wanted to give you this gift early.”  He turned away from Thor to grab a piece of paper out of the tree. While his back was turned, Thor wrapped his arms around Loki and placed a kiss on his neck.

           “You look beautiful, love.”  He placed another kiss behind Loki’s ear and the younger man let his head fall back against Thor’s shoulder.  “Is today a good day?” he asked. They seemed to be rare, anymore, but Loki looked like he was walking around with no trouble at all.

           “Yes,” he whimpered, as Thor placed a hand over his heart, another curving down to squeeze his lush posterior.  Thor had left his hair down today, pulling just the front back into a small ponytail, and Loki took the opportunity to fist his hands into it.  “I love when you leave it down,” he murmured.

           “That’s only because you always see it up,” Thor smiled.  Loki let out a breathy chuckle before tapping out and stepping away from Thor.  He grabbed the piece of paper that had been sitting within the colorful branches and took a deep breath.  When he’d opened the paper up, he turned around to face Thor. His eyes were all watery, and it was making Thor concerned.  Loki cleared his throat, then held up the piece of paper for Thor to see.

           “Merry Christmas, Soldier,” he sniffed, clearly trying to keep from crying.  Thor took the paper from Loki to look at it closer.

 

_ Dear Mr. Laufeyson, _

_ We’re pleased to inform you that the there has been a donor located in our database that your doctor has determined is a match for you for a bone marrow transplant.  Please review the attached materials and let us know if you wish to move forward. _

_ DONOR MATCH: VALERIE BRUNGARDT _

 

           Below her name were a bunch of other statistics that could have meant something to Thor if he hadn’t been crying already.  “They really found a match?” he blubbered, waving the paper around. Loki covered his mouth with his hands, nodding his head.  Thor broke down, then, ready to collapse on the floor. The paper floated out of his hands between them and Loki moved forward to pull Thor against him.

           “Ssshhhhh,” Loki calmed him.  One of his hands was threaded in Thor’s hair, pulling his forehead to rest on his shoulder.  The other hand rested on his back, rubbing comforting circles. They cried together, surrounded by the light from the candles and the multicolored Christmas lights on the tree.  Thor had never felt more relieved in all his life.

           “I knew it,” Thor wept, wiping his nose on a sleeve.  “I knew there’d be a match.”

           “Yes, it’s a regular ol’ Christmas miracle, isn’t it?” Loki wiped at his eyes with the hand that wasn’t in Thor’s hair.  “Banner delivered the letter himself.”  Loki seemed to be laughing now, the joy he’d felt all afternoon struggling to stay contained.  “Oh Norns,” he laughed, hugging Thor closer and leaning his head against his blonde locks.  “My parents were here and we all celebrated the news together.  And then I realized you were missing, and I wanted you to know. Sorry for the semi-cryptic text. I just wanted it to be special.” Thor moved his hands from around Loki’s back and straightened a little.  He grasped the slighter man’s face in his hands and kissed him, all the worry and stress bleeding out of him. When they broke apart, Thor took a deep, calming breath.

           “This is the best gift,” he smiled.  Loki moved his hands to wipe the tears from Thor’s face, smiling in return.

           “Are you sure?  Because I have another gift for you, but now I’m not sure you’re gonna like it…”  Loki pouted. Thor collapsed against the slighter man again. He just didn’t know what to do about all the emotions that were coursing through him.  This was better than the day he’d gotten his degree.  Better than the day he’d signed up for the Marines.  Better, even, than seeing Vanaheim come to life before his eyes.  Loki had quickly become his everything, and things could finally move forward with his illness.  Forward meant things would change, hopefully for the better.  A new lease on life.  He laughed, crushing Loki to him and swinging him around in his arms, easily.

           “I will love whatever else you have to give,” he smiled.  “Cross my heart.”  Thor kissed him again, drawing the raven-haired man in for a deeper kiss.  Loki hummed, satisfied, wrapping his legs and arms around Thor.  He tilted his head and drew Thor in for more, and more still.  The only sounds in the room came from the sharp inhales they took, and the slick smacks of battling tongues; wet clicks of one mouth exploring another.  Each pass of their tongues was slipperier than the last, and Loki eventually pulled away to remove the robe Darcy had given him.  The shirt underneath was a t-shirt, and Thor wanted to run his hands all over the newly-exposed skin.  They stared at each other for a few moments, just catching their breaths.  Loki’s emerald eyes were large and glassy, and he imagined his weren’t much different.  “What was your other gift,” Thor panted, not really caring in this moment if Loki had gotten him a unicorn onesie to wear, with an attached tutu.  He’d wear that onesie with pride.

           Loki hopped down out of Thor’s arms, steadying himself against Thor’s bulkier frame for a few moments.  It may have been an exceptionally good day, but he still needed to be careful. Thor held him while they waited for Loki’s body to adjust, enjoying the feeling of the slighter man against him.  Loki looked up at him, smiling. “Your other gift is me,” he winked, starting to pull Thor in the direction of the bedroom. “And I demand your first gift to me be you. It’s only fair.” Thor laughed, following Loki easily.

           “I can do that.”  Thor grabbed Loki’s robe up from the floor and made sure the signed program from the play was still hidden in his jacket.  Then he let Loki pull him the rest of the way into his small, private bedroom. 

           Thor draped his jacket and Loki’s robe over a chair as the younger man closed the door behind them.  Then Thor was there in front of Loki, crowding him against the door and licking into his mouth once again.  Loki smirked against him at his eagerness, twining his fingers through Thor’s hair once again. He made a contented sigh as he returned Thor’s affections.  When they pulled away for a breath, Thor spoke up. “Bed would probably be a good idea,” he smiled, still drunk on the happy news. “You shouldn’t be out of bed for so long.”  Loki laughed.

           “You really can’t turn it off, can you?” the younger man grinned.  

           Thor pouted.  “What are you talking about?” he asked.  Loki scratched at Thor’s scalp as he worked to place an open-mouthed kiss to Loki’s neck.

           “Always so concerned about taking care of others, you are.”  Loki took a deep inhale, enjoying what Thor was doing. Thor chuckled as he dragged Loki’s earlobe between his teeth.  “I, personally, would love to be fucked against this door,” Loki confessed. Thor pulled back to look him in the eyes, jaw hanging open..

           “Do you know how unsafe that is?” he murmured.  “Plus, definitely no soundproofing…” Thor scoffed as Loki burst out laughing.  

           “This is why I…” Loki looked at him and swallowed. “This is why I love you,” he smiled, getting teary again.  Thor smiled back, warm and welcome as he swept Loki up into his arms. He peppered the slighter man’s face with kisses before depositing him onto the bed.

           “I love that you love this about me,” Thor told him, knowing for certain this was the best day he’d ever had.  “There’s so many reasons I love you.” He kissed along Loki’s jaw. “I love how you continue to surprise me,” he said.  Loki’s hands raked down his chest and he sighed in pleasure. The pale man’s slender fingers caught the edge of his button up shirt and tugged it out of his pants, quickly undoing buttons and pulling the shirt open.

           “Do you realize what a feast this is?” Loki asked, almost petting his abs and chest.  Thor blushed, pleased by Loki’s admiration, and puffed his chest up with pride. “I rarely get to see you shirtless,” Loki choked.  His fingertips traced the outlines of Thor’s muscles, memorizing all the lines, and the blond held very still, letting him touch as he pleased.  With every pass of Loki’s cool fingertips against the contours and ridges of his body, Thor would shiver. It felt good, all the light grabs against the soft parts of his flesh.  Like Loki was massaging his affection straight into his skin; a quiet moment, one that seemed to turn the slighter man on quite a bit, if his flushed face and squirming had anything to do with it.  Thor beamed at him.

           “I love you,” he whispered.  Loki blushed even more, but reached up to kiss Thor’s lips.

           “Flip us?” Loki pouted.  Thor nodded and did as requested, gently cradling Loki’s body to his and turning over onto his back.  Loki placed a kiss right above Thor’s heart. He spent a little time here, exploring the feel of Thor’s pulse against his lips before sucking a mark into his skin.  He didn’t let up, but instead moved to lave his tongue against Thor’s pert little nipples, teasing his flesh until Thor was panting beneath him. The younger man laid himself out on top of Thor, straddling him as he placed his ear against Thor’s heart, just listening to his heart beat for a little while.  

           When he’d had his fill, Loki’s hand snuck down Thor’s body to palm at his growing erection.  Thor moaned. “Hnnnnnnnnggg.” He bit his lip, trying to be at least a little quiet. “Loki.”  His head dug back into the pillow as Loki swirled his palm. The younger man watched Thor’s expression, pleased with himself.

           “Hmmm?” he asked.  Thor felt him opening his slacks one-handed, deftly undoing the button and zipper and freeing his cock.  Loki stroked him lightly, lazily until Thor was fully hard.

           “Hahh-ah,” he sighed, squirming pleasurably against Loki.  “If you’re not careful, our fun will be over,” Thor smiled.  “You are entirely too good at this.” Loki sat up with a smirk, removing his own shirt, before laying back down again.

           “I just want a little more time like this,” he exhaled, nuzzling against Thor’s neck.  “You feel good.” Loki squeezed his shaft a little and Thor groaned. He placed his hands against Loki’s back, rubbing comforting circles against his bare skin.

           “We have all night,” he assured him, not minding the slow pace Loki was preferring.  It felt good to have his body appreciated like this.

           “You looked nice tonight,” Loki remarked, slowing his pace as Thor’s hands began to tremble, his breathing stuttering as he bit his lip.

           “I–” he panted.  “I do know how to clean up...outside the scrubs,” he smirked.  Loki hummed, dragging a hand up to rest in Thor’s hair. They laid there for a little while longer, Loki leisurely stroking and Thor panting and moaning beneath him.  When he was feeling close, Loki clearly noticed, as his hand stopped entirely. He laid against Thor, listening to his heart beating, completely at peace. When Thor’s body calmed down enough, Loki slid off of him to lay on his back next to Thor.  He still looked flushed and vulnerable, and Thor wasn’t sure why.

           “OK, now I want my gift.  A proper fucking.” Loki turned his full pout onto Thor.  He loved when Loki asked for things like this. He found that face too adorable.  But he was concerned about this. He didn’t want to overexert Loki. “It’s been too long,” the younger whined, seeming to read Thor’s thoughts.  It didn’t take long for him to make his decision. Loki was feeling exceptionally good, he hadn’t noticed any concerning signs, and this was the pretty much the best news they’d gotten all year.

           “It is Christmas,” Thor smiled, turning to the bedside table he knew contained Loki’s collection of intimate items, including a mint-flavored lube he liked using.  It left a tingly sensation behind that they both enjoyed. Loki looked entirely too excited when he pulled it out. The slighter man wiggled out of the pants Thor loved him in so much and he groaned, realizing Loki hadn’t been wearing  _ anything  _ underneath those pants.  His mouth watered a little.   _ ‘What a wasted opportunity,’ _ he thought, leering at Loki as he stood up to remove his own clothing.  When he got back on the bed, he moved Loki’s clothes to join his on the floor, then leaned down to kiss him again.  This whole night felt drugged: sluggish and blissful in ways that were hard to describe. Their slow, languid kisses and exploratory touches revved Thor’s engine just as much as Loki’s.

           He watched as Loki pulled a small remote out from underneath his pillow, pointing it at a speaker he had in his room.  Apparently, he had set up his phone earlier so he could play music. Thor smiled at how much planning Loki had put into tonight.  Beyonce’s “Love on Top” started playing from what Loki lovingly referred to as his “Bang” playlist. It was a sensual R&B tune, and made him want to dance.  Instead, he rolled his hips against Loki’s, stroking their erections together. Loki bit his lip and inhaled shakily, reaching out for the bottle of lube. He arched a brow at Thor as he uncapped it with a little bob of his head, in time with the music.  Thor grinned, grasping Loki’s hips as he continued to grind against him with the beat. 

           With one particularly vigorous thrust, the slighter man accidentally squirted the lube straight up onto Thor’s chest.  It landed back onto Loki with a slick ‘plop’ and Thor had to laugh. It was cute how affected he got. Loki stuck his hand in the little glob before smearing it all over Thor’s face in retaliation.  He growled, his eyes sparking with mischief, as he rubbed his face all over Loki’s. “Nooo!!!’’ the younger man squealed, bucking up against Thor. His face dared Thor to try it again, just before they launched into a light tickle battle.  By the end of it, they were both panting, Loki letting out breathy little “haahh’s,” done with the distractions, as he finally got his fingers coated to his satisfaction. Thor rumbled deep in his chest when Loki’s hand closed around his cock, slicking him up, then moving to slick his own cock.  He pulled one of Thor’s hands up to him, then.

           “How would you like it?” Thor murmured.  Loki sucked his lower lip in. He was learning this was a tell for Loki, that he wanted something he didn’t know if he should ask for.  Thor leaned down and kissed him until Loki pushed him back up.

           “I want to feel you,” he mumbled, resting a hand low on his belly.  The motion drew an animalistic urge out of Thor as he swallowed, his pupils blown wide.  He adjusted Loki on the bed so his feet were resting against Thor’s chest. It was a great position for deep penetration that also didn’t make Loki stretch too much to stay in position.  He didn’t want to push his limits by throwing the pale man’s legs over his shoulders, so this would be a great alternative. Loki’s breath hitched, as he moved back to his original intent.  He coated Thor’s fingers with the lube and gave him a slap to his behind. His cock jumped from the stimulation. “Alright, Dumpling, if you’re good, I’ll let you ride me later,” Loki grinned.  Thor groaned, getting excited about the prospect.

           “Don’t joke like that,” he mumbled, moving his hand down to trace gently at Loki’s furled hole.

           “Ahhh...” Loki exhaled.  “It’s…” He looked away from Thor for a moment.  “It’s not a joke. That’s my other gift for you…”  He blushed, looking up at Thor. When it registered in his brain, Thor rushed down to seal his lips against Loki’s, so incredibly grateful for the man beneath him.  He pushed a finger in, working carefully for Loki’s pleasure. It had been too long since he’d gotten the chance to bottom, in any capacity. Most of his hookups preferred to be on the receiving end, or were women.  It didn’t bother him, but what Loki was offering felt like a special treat, especially for him. The younger man bit Thor’s lip in surprise as he adjusted to the new intrusion. It clearly had been too long since they did this last.

           Thor broke apart from the kiss, rubbing his tongue over the bite as he smirked.  “You’re really good at giving gifts,” he intimated, rubbing his thumb against Loki’s perineum as his finger continued to work the slighter man open.  Loki cried out, dropping the lube bottle and grabbing Thor’s arm with his freed hand. His slicked hand went around Thor’s length, causing the blond to gasp, and buck into Loki’s grasp.

           “I’m glad you like it.”  Loki stuck his tongue between his teeth as he looked up at Thor.  “I wasn’t sure what to get the man who already has me,” he teased, taking in a sharp inhale as Thor added a second finger.  Loki squeezed around Thor’s length, a low grunt tumbling from Thor’s chest. “It…” The hand on Thor’s arm tightened, his nails making deep imprints in his skin.  “...seemed appropriate,” he panted. Thor nodded absently, half-listening, half drunk with pleasure and focused on giving Loki the gift he asked for. The raven-haired man beneath him had a tendency to drive Thor to distraction--if it wasn’t his deliciously filthy mouth, it was his lean, graceful body--and that just wouldn’t do for a gift.  When Thor found his prostate, Loki kicked him, as his body reacted to the jolts of pleasure it was receiving.

           “There?” Thor teased.  His eyes lit up as he watched Loki flailing around, feeling proud of himself.  If this was a gift, he better make it good.

           “Yes!” Loki blurted.  His hand stuttered on Thor’s cock, pre-cum leaking from his slit. Thor scissored his fingers, testing to see if Loki was ready for a third, before continuing his gentle motions.  This was too important for Thor to rush. Yes, they hadn’t done this lately, but it was for Loki’s own health that they needed to take a break. He was determined to make the way easy and gentle tonight.  For Loki to think of nothing but pleasure. When the slighter man picked his pace back up, Thor couldn’t help the embarrassing, weird noise that escaped his lips, caught by surprise. Loki seemed too caught up to notice.  He added a third finger and Loki arched off the bed. “Fffuuuuucckkk, Thor…” he whined, squeezing his eyes shut. Thor leaned down to leave sloppy, wet kisses against Loki’s collarbone. This night was about both of them, and Loki’s wicked little hand caused him to let out a string of low moans.  They vibrated against Loki’s skin, creating a delicious loop of feedback between them. When he traveled to one of his nipples, Thor traced his tongue around it, feeling Loki kick against him again. “No!” he protested. Thor lifted his head. “Those are sensitive,” he chided. “Now, you’ve spent enough time with prep, even for your impressive cock, and I want my gift.”  Thor threw his head back with a big grin on his face.

           “Alright,” he gloated, rubbing against Loki’s prostate one last time as he withdrew his fingers with a wet ‘pop.’  Loki shuddered. “Merry Christmas, love,” Thor smiled, grabbing the bottle of lube and adding more to his length. When he was satisfied, he lined himself up carefully and pushed in.  Thor went slow, letting Loki adjust as he drove all the way inside. The entire time, Loki rested a hand on his belly, just underneath his cock, and sighed. It was incredibly erotic, and Thor’s dick twitched inside Loki’s narrow channel.  When he was fully seated, he held onto the slighter man’s back, alleviating the stress on Loki’s body to stay in this position.

           The atmosphere in the room changed as “Earned It” came on, by The Weekend, with the heavy hits and dramatic strings.  It focused him in a completely different way as he pulled out slowly, timing his thrusts to the hits in the music. It was the little things that Loki appreciated when he had the “Bang” playlist going.  “Yes,” Loki gasped, as Thor snapped his hips forward on a downbeat. “Hhhuuuaaahh,” he inhaled, throwing a hand over his mouth as Thor dragged across his prostate again and again. Thor stared down, watching Loki rub circles along his lower abdomen as he thrust in deep.  He was in a trance, focusing on how full Thor made him feel, and it was exactly the reaction Thor was hoping for. For Loki to be so overcome with feeling that it was all he knew. Thor’s breaths were harsh pants as he watched the decadence of Loki’s movements. His eyes were glassy and unfocused, not even noticing as Thor hid his moans against Loki’s shin, opting to place shaky kisses along his flank.

           “Loki,” he exhaled, picking up his pace, thrusting faster into the tight, slick heat.  The slighter man turned his face in a few directions, working to focus back in on Thor.  He gave a wide, groggy smile.

           “Hey Ssssss…..”  Loki took a ragged breath in, his head lolling to the side once more.  “...sssss...” His words slurred with each press of Thor’s cock. “Sparky,” he sing-songed, at last, reaching his hand up to grasp at Thor’s arm again.  He was so entranced by the way Loki lost himself like this. It turned Thor on like nothing before and he groaned, placing a light bite against Loki’s calf, just hard enough for Loki to know it was there.  Loki clenched around him, causing Thor to cry out and pull Loki deeper against him. Loki moaned loudly at the new depth, his eyes rolling backwards. When he felt himself tensing, trying to hold on for Loki, the younger man slid his hand from his belly to grasp and pull at his own erection.  “Thor,” he keened, inhaling sharply again. Thor squeezed the fleshy globes of Loki’s posterior, shifting their positions slightly with his new hold. The change in angles had both of them crying out.

           “Are you…” Thor trailed off, unable to form any more words as his body seized up.

           “Now, Thor,” Loki exhaled, continuing to stroke himself, He moved his other hand from Thor’s arm to press down on his stomach.  By now, Thor knew better than to pull out, Loki preferring the feeling of being filled up, so he let go. His body drew up tight, tense all over as he emptied himself into the slighter man.  Loki shivered, closing his eyes and letting his head tip back. He exhaled one last time before cumming all over his chest.

 

***

 

When they both calmed down and cleaned up, Thor tucked Loki under the covers and got up to get the gifts he’d brought with: the program from his jacket and the video off his phone.  He sent a text to his parents that everything was good. After confirming it was OK to share, he let them know Loki had gotten a donor match and he was spending the night here. The next text that came through was his parents with Fandral, party hats on and noisemakers in hand with the caption ‘Congrats!!’  Loki and he laughed, sending back a ‘thanks.’ Loki gushed over the program he got with the signatures on it. 

           “Are you sure you want me to have this?” he asked.  Thor ruffled his hair.

           “Yes, I’d never have gone if not for your excitement, and I stayed to get the signatures for you.  I wish you’d been able to be there with us.” Thor kissed his lips softly a few times before pulling away to show him the video.  “They also insisted on putting on a little scene reenactment for you.” Thor smiled.

           “What?” Loki covered his mouth with his hands.  “They did not…” he whispered as Thor started the video.  It began with the actors saying ‘This is for you, Loki!’ and blowing kisses at the camera.  Loki made a little squeak as the video kept playing, hopping up and down that he was able to be a small part of this.  At the end, he clapped and kissed Thor’s cheek. “That was a great gift. It looks like the play was amazing.” Thor tugged at the end of Loki’s braid, playing with the silky strands.

           “You would have loved it,” Thor murmured.  

 

***

 

Later that night, when Loki had long fallen asleep, he sent a text to Darcy.  The decorations and the tree...setting up the music ahead of time...it had her name written all over it.  ‘Thank you,’ he typed. Her response made him chuckle.

           ‘THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU!’ It said.  He sent her back a kiss emoji and put his phone away, settling back against Loki and closing his eyes.  The next few months were going to be a real flurry of activity for Loki, but he was looking forward to every minute of it.  On the top of Thor’s list was getting off Loki’s transplant team. It would be a big adjustment for everyone, but he couldn’t keep sneaking around like this.  It never felt right. There was a reason things were separate in the medical field: you always had to be objective. And the lines were certainly blurred for Thor.  He let his mind drift off, just enjoying the feeling of Loki against him as they slept.

           Thirty minutes later, Thor woke to the sound of a lube bottle opening. Loki was facing him already with a mischievous smile on his face as he scooted closer and threw one of Thor’s legs over his hips, granting him access to what he was after.  He groaned when Loki inched his first finger in. It was going to be an amazing night.

           “Merry Christmas, Lover,” Loki crooned.

 

***

 

The first thing Thor noticed when he awoke that morning was he wasn’t in his own bed.  He then remembered staying the night with Loki...and the amazing night they’d had. Thor’s sleepy smile widened as he hugged Loki further to him, inhaling deeply and letting Loki’s own unique scent further relax him.  The second thing he vaguely noticed was they weren’t alone. When that thought fully registered, Thor bolted up from bed, dragging Loki with him. The younger man cried out at the rude awakening, hitting Thor’s chest.

           “What are you doing?!” he screeched, falling forward against Thor’s chest, dizzy with the sudden movement.  He moaned. “I was dreaming we were in Aruba, or Hawaii, or some other perfectly peaceful, lovingly tropic place…….  And now I’m awake and feeling awful!” Loki sighed, resting his head against Thor’s bare chest, and closed his eyes. “Why are we upright?  I’m sleepy. You don’t work today.” Thor swallowed, still not sure what to do. Loki’s mother was sitting calmly in a chair, watching them.  A chair that was strategically placed to keep anyone from being able to open the door. She was knitting, and didn’t seem phased at all that her son was laying in bed with him, completely naked.  He couldn’t even make a hasty exit, because he’d have to bowl straight through her to do it. Eventually Loki realized Thor wasn’t responding, nor lying back down on the bed. In fact, he was sitting ramrod straight, clutching Loki against him.  The younger man opened his eyes and looked up at Thor, who was still staring straight at Farbauti, with his mouth hanging open. Loki turned to follow his gaze and nearly jumped off the bed. “Mother!” he cried, seeming to try blocking Thor’s much larger frame with his own.  The woman chuckled.

           “Wonder Boy, I presume?” Farbauti smirked.

           After a few moments of stunned silence, the “What?” was out of Thor’s mouth before he even had the change to consider just saying nothing.  He felt like a fish, flopping around outside the bowl. Unsure what to do, he stared back at Loki. The pale man’s face was bright red as he stared at his mother, looking guilty.  “What?” Thor said again, still finding the whole situation disorienting. Loki opened his mouth, turning to look at Thor. He promptly shut it, pouting up at Thor’s expression.

           “I’m sick,” he said back to his mother, hugging Thor to him.  Farbauti laughed, putting down her knitting.

           “My darling, I am well aware.  It is the reason I am here, sitting in this chair, and not at home in front of the fire.  With you.” She then made a ‘please explain’ motion with her hand and looked at Loki expectantly.  Loki let Thor go, then twiddled his thumbs for a few moments.

           “So, I may have started talking about you to my parents and my friends a long time ago,” Loki casually dropped.  “And no one actually knows your name because I always call you Wonder Boy.” Loki chewed his lip, looking up at him.  It was like feeling his brain thaw, when he finally processed the situation. He relaxed his hold on Loki and gave him a soft smile before turning to Farbauti.

           “I’m Thor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, everything I wrote that Thor's parents did over their visit are all fun things to do in Chicago over the holidays. The Christkindlmarket is extremely fun. I've actually never gotten to eat at the Walnut Room, but my best friend tells me it's just the best. I mean...how could you go wrong with Frango mint pie??? I hope to make it there this year. :) Ed Debevics is closed right now, but it is exactly as I described. The whole point of the restaurant is that the staff is rude to you. :P But it's 50's style and cutesy, and you get little paper soda fountain hats. Their website says they're looking for a new location, so if you're ever looking to go, hopefully they'll be re-opened! <3 
> 
> Chicago Athletic Association is one of the coolest hotels in the city, in my opinion. $$$, but really really cool. If you don't stay there, just go and hang out. They have a whole game room and amazing rooftop bar. And if you ask, they might give you a tour of the hotel. And it's just really cool. They've turned an old basketball court into meeting space. They have a meeting room called The White City. It's really cool. No guarantees the outdoor area of the rooftop bar will actually be open in December. But it's an amazing view of the city if it is open.
> 
> This is Loki's [robe thingy](https://goo.gl/images/2Eoze3).
> 
> The Christmas miracle thing may be a little on the nose, but I am such a sucker for those stories, so you'll just have to forgive me. :P <3 I'm such a sap sometimes, lol! :P And, can I just say, I fretted SOOO MUCH over this sexy scene. It has one of my big kinks in it, if you squint, and Loki's kinda in a trance space, imagining it... If you were wondering what was going on there... :P But, if you caught on, you're welcome. ;) Also, I know the ending is cruel to make you wait until Dec., but I loved it. Hahaha! It seemed like such a perfect ending for this part, lol. >:)
> 
> Thank you so much for joining me on this wild ride so far!!! :D There's at least a little bit of a resolution right now! :D Let me know what you thought!! :D <3 <3 <3 And thank you again for reading. You all are amazing. For all who celebrate it, Happy Thanksgiving. <3 I'm so grateful to all of you. :)
> 
> Stay tuned for pt. 2 on 12/1!! <3 <3 <3  
> Come say hello on [Tumblr](https://ktspree13.tumblr.com/)!


	11. Chapter 11

Hello all!! :D Just in case some of you weren't subscribed to me or the series, I wanted to post a note that the second installment of this is up for your viewing pleasure!!! :D And going on 4 chapters. ;) Soon to be five. Hope to see you in pt. 2: Whiskey Alpha Romeo: Healing in a time of hardship! AKA, the blanket fic. ;) <3 *muah*


End file.
